KIDS W/SLEEP & SEPARATION ANXIETY

[teachmeplz]

My sons 8 and 10 are very scared of the dark. No matter how hard I try they want to sleep with me. They want a bunch of nite lights when I try to put them in their rooms. One kid will annoy the other all night. I have hollar and told them the importance of being way too old. Sometimes they end up in my bed in the middle of the night. I have stressed out to exhaustion. I give up sometimes. They just want to be with their moma. I know its wierd. I have a king size bed and Im single. They need their own space though and so do I. They have seen physical and know the mental abuse from the father directed towards me and who knows how many others. Ive been scared too a long time ago for them to sleep alone. I was always the type to get up and down to check on them at night when they were babies. Can anyone tell me what I have done wrong? Any Advice? When they were toddlers they showed a whole lot of separation anxiety. What is going on with my children?

[cheshchesh819]

the routine they in is the only one they have know but they are older now and will both understand that certain things must be changed,put the night lights in read them a story but explain to them every night that they have to stay in there own beds and that you are only an ear shot away if they need you,they abviously need to feel close to you but you have to make it clear that your bed is yours and theirs is theirs,it might take a few nights tempers tantrums and tears but with persistance you will get there good luck

[CassCore]

I think it is normal to want mom at night, but every night is a little over the top and I'm sure it wares on you...even though you love them! I think the night light thing is just fine and as for them bothering eachother at night, do they have separate bedrooms or do they share? If they share you may try to put them in the same bed and let them comfort eachother. Tell them if you have to come in and get them to stop harrassing eachother you will take away a nightlight and they are not allowed to come to your room. You may also try developing a nighttime routine. Read a story or two sing a song try making them warm milk or taking a warm bath before bed. Let them listen to calming music. My last idea is you go to their rooms for a while and tell them you'll stay untill they fall asleep. Try this  couple nights and see how it goes. Hope this helps...keep me updated!!!