You have to remember that you've recently gone through two very stressful events in your life...the loss of a job and moving to a different residence. That's a lot for anyone to handle, but for someone with a history of anxiety or depression, that can be devastating. My point is, your anxiety is not misplaced or inappropriate considering the circumstances.
Changes can often be triggers for anxiety attacks. Sometimes even a good change may trigger an attack or elevated levels of anxiety. Try to get into a healthy routine. Spend as little time as you have to in the apartment since this is probably going to be a temporary arrangement until you can get back to work and things start to look up. You're not going crazy, you just think you are...two different things entirely.
Thanks RLS, have you ever had that deep dark view almost on everything..like nothing has it's color or nothing to look forward too because you're trapped within this anxiety? And any advice for when I start feel my obsessive thoughts about my heart coming on? They are making me miserable.. I have a klonopin here but I am trying to hold off on them.. Ive had check ups years ago extensive and nothing was wrong with my heart, had an ekg around a year ago was fine.. but still what if? sigh
The first thing you need to do is realize that your biased worries are overriding years of medical science. Does that make sense? Think about it...a doctor has gone through what, 8 years of medical school, internships, hundreds if not thousands of patients...he has the latest advanced technology at his fingertips, the most advanced medical labs ever...all of this medical evidence stands before you, yet Josh's fear is stronger than medical science which has told you there is nothing wrong with your heart.
The only thing which is real is your "thoughts" that you have a heart condition....you don't actually have a heart condition. Yet, these thoughts are so powerful they are paralyzing you and consuming your life. I know because I have been there.
You must learn to accept that you have health anxiety. Once you've accepted it, you just have to realize it's going to be there, and it's the anxiety that is telling you worry about your heart...not the doctors, not the nurses, not technology. Don't try to fight it and don't even try to ignore it. Accept it, it's here, but you have a choice to curl up and allow it to defeat you or you can choose to do something else. Something constructive, or something that makes you happy. The more you try to fight the anxiety the stronger it gets, let it ride it's course and when you feel it coming on, recognize it for what it is...a series of thoughts which you have given power to, and they are all based on unfounded fears.
Sometimes it's as if i know nothing is wrong yet..it's like somebody put my brains gear into overdrive and it just will not stop going..as i type this now im starting to get nervous it's like a teetor totter if im going to go into full blown panic or not..with obviously no logical reason I..staring at a klonopin but i dont want to take it because I feel guilty doing it..and my heart is starting to beat fast... It's just im worried that my heart will maybe beat so fast and never stop or something..its like something is just clawing my head telling me fear fear fear no calm" lol
I feel the same way right now. I just woke up with my heart racing and feeling so hot and sweaty and afraid. I ate a big salty restaurant meal with wine too and wonder if that's the cause? I need to be up particularly early this morning, as does my bf, which is only feeding the anxiety loop.
Boise, is the reason you've got to be up early tomorrow anything particularly important? I know if i have to be up early, really for anything..I get antsy and can't sleep..but never really panic..
I notice myself that when i am in a routine that I keep..my anxiety is low..for example work..gym.. etc.. I noticed my anxiety started up when I lost my job and stopped working out so much when I use to be heavy into it..
I was 14 obsessing over my heart..and I beat it..for 7 years I told myself nothing is wrong.,..how could I even let my mind worry about it again after having it and beating it, like how stupid? But it's just not in my logical control..and I feel as if ive been traumatized so badly by the panic that the thought of having an attack alone is a trigger.. I will admit that my panic attacks last 30 minutes+ always..and even when they are over I am never calm..I just feel so dark and there i can't do anything because i never know what will trigger it.. I just want to stay asleep