Super Anxious And Paranoid About HIV

[pachahf]

Hi everyone,
Now,I'm suffering from a high level of anxiety  about HIV,as I have always been too paranoid about hiv.
I'm a 20 years old gay male.A few weeks ago,I had unprotected oral sex with a stranger,whom I knew from online.I did ask his HIV status and his words were,he was safer than bottle water.I didnt have any cuts in my month(at least that was how I felt).I feel so stupid and regret after performing unprotected oral sex.I seldom do oral sex because I know my self exactly-I'm always too paranoid about HIV issue.I know my chances are low but I just can't ease my mind and I'm thinking about "what if" all the time.I thinking about my parents,my school and my friends,it's just driving me crazy right now.I don't know how I am supposed to face them if I'm positive.
Also,after my last time HIV test,I have had a few sexual encounters.Everytime,I wore condom.But I'm still worring."What if the body fluids contacted some cuts of body",such thoughts like that always appear in my mind.Even kissing makes me think all the time if I have contracted to HIV.
So,my question is do you think I need an HIV test.(I remember the last time I got tested,I was extremely anxious the whole day.)And how can I ease my mind?How can I be not so paranoid about HIV.

Thank you.

[JV1991]

Hi same situation here :( i regret everything, now i am very anxious, cant sleep, cant focus, i had test but it was negative, but they advised me to go back 3rd month after my last contact, and now I am very paranoid that I am feeling all the symptoms, but im thinking I am having this anxiety problem :(

[JV1991]

hi there, same situation here, need someone to talk also :(

[SerinaSophia]

Sorry you are so troubled by this fear. I too have health anxiety and it is absolutely debilitating. The mind is a powerful thing and can convince you of things that are very unlikely to happen. Have you spoken to your doctor about maybe getting on an anxiety medication? I'm taking a very low dose of Xanax and it has helped me immensely. When I was younger I feared I had HIV too.. I think its our conscious telling us to be more aware and protective of our bodies and who we share ourselves with. I'm a big advocate for seeing your doctor regularly, being honest and having proper checkups. Do what you feel you need to have peace of mind, but also, believe what the results are.. So if you go get checked, and its negative, believe that and use this experience to be more mindful in the future. Hope I was of some help.. :) God Bless.