Can't shake this horrible feeling

[sunshine725]

Hi,

I hope someone can help me....I have this intense feeling that something is drastically wrong with me or going to be wrong with me.  It all started with them finding a cyst on my ovary....after many tests, it was determined to be benign and it is just being watched.  Prior to the sonogram, I had no idea it was even there and then the onslaught of blood work began, causing me nervousness beyond belief.  All came back ok....but I started to feel nervous constantly.  I ended up in the ER convinced I was having a heart attack.  They did all the tests and said no....it was anxiety.  My heart races, I get pains in my chest.....so I went to a cardiologist who did tests and all came back ok.  Then I had my routine mammogram.  The dr. ordered further testing because there were changes since the last....they want to repeat it in 6 mo's just to be sure but he said "it looks like it did back in 2013, so it's probably ok....I just want it repeated."  Of course, this now has me beyond upset and nervous.  In the mean time, the pain I feel in my chest won't go away, I can't sleep, my heart races, I get shooting pains, I sweat, then I'm freezing....I can't shake this feeling that some impending doom and bad news is on it's way.  I've had multiple blood tests.....all have come back normal.  A chest xray was normal....but WHY can't I believe it and accept it?  I feel like they're missing something.....  I should also mention that before Christmas, I was put on Welbutrin to help me quit smoking.  I had to come off it because of the intense side effects and since then, I've never felt right.  Right after stopping is when this all began.  I feel embarrassed....like dr's are just dismissing me as "crazy" and I just want to feel like I did before (*I used to be the most laid back nothing bothers me kind of person.....I was always like that and then suddenly, things have changed.)  I'm so upset with myself.....I don't want to feel this way.

[LRon]

There are many parallels between your experiences and mine. For example, you wrote "I have this intense feeling that something is drastically wrong with me or going to be wrong with me." I struggled with this *exact* same thing several years ago. Long story short, one evening I had a sudden out-of-the-blue series of panic attacks. Like you, I went to the ER convinced I was having a heart attack. Like you, I had lots of heart tests which showed I was physically fine, which was reassuring. But I was never quite the same psychologically. Basically I developed generalized anxiety/panic disorder. The good news is I have come a LONG way since then, but it took a time and there were plenty of setbacks along the way. Anxiety isn't 100% out of my life, but it's maybe 95%. If I did it, you can too.

You need to know that the symptoms you describe are classic anxiety symptoms. Accept that what you're experiencing is anxiety and not something more nefarious like a heart issue. That will help a great deal.

Some other advice...

* Get Reid Wilson's "Don't Panic." It's one of the best self-help books out there.

* Google the anxiety guru. More good stuff there.

* Don't fight your anxiety. Acknowledge it and then roll with it. When anxiety hits like a wave, simply float on top of the wave rather than struggle against it.

* You might ask your doc for some Ativan or Xanax for those times when the anxiety is overwhelming and you need a "lifeline."

*Don't hyper focus on your symptoms or become vigilant about them. Just move on with your regular activities. Get/stay involved in things that require all of your focus and keep your mind off your anxiety. Eventually it will become less of an issue.

Feel free to PM me if I can help further.