Avatar universal

Mistake giving me massive anxiety

Last week I made a mistake of getting too drunk with a co worker who reports to me there.  The night ended with just the two of us alone. We hooked up.  We didn't sleep together, probably because way too much alcohol but did other things.
I woke up and when I remembered instantly felt sick.  I can't stop having anxiety since.  It's constant.  She's the kind of person that talks so im sure people know.  What do they think of me? Is my integrity gone? Will work be different? Will I get fired? Maybe nobody will date me now cause I'm with someone I hooked up with everyday.  I can't eat, feel exhausted and nervous all day. It's been 3 days now.
I'm trying not to think about it in hopes it just goes away. In time I'm sure it will.
How do I cope? Move forward?
Should i look for a new job? I don't think running solves anything. I know I'm a good person so this is hard for me.
3 Responses
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188761 tn?1584567620
It's okay, I guess. $hit happens. Just take it in your stride. Go speak to her about this, laugh it out and forget about it.
Helpful - 0
My biggest concern is I'm her boss.  Hopefully it just never comes up.
Has me in knots
Take it easy, you both had fun, if it was consensual you don't have to worry about it. Also, you didn't sleep around with her so it's okay, I guess.

People do crazy things when they are intoxicated, it's not a big deal, you are overthinking. Ease up.
Thank you man.  It does help hearing someone say it's not a big deal.
Hopefully I'll see that in a bit of time too.
All the best.
Avatar universal
Two issues here.  One is today's environment is one where workplace sex isn't as innocent as it once was to some people, but so far nothing has happened.  I'm assuming that's what's upsetting you in part.  The second issue is you're drawing a lot of conclusions from this that don't really have anything to do with this unless you're planning on sleeping with other employees after saying this one was a mistake, because there's nothing these people are going to say that's going to have anything to do with who you're going to date in the future away from work.  The second issue is an anxiety issue, the first a legitimate concern.  You have to analyze it that way, separating out what you can learn from and what is irrational thinking, which since you're posting on an anxiety forum we have to assume you think you have an anxiety problem.  If this is a pattern for you, you might want to see a therapist and make your life easier by being easier on yourself.  If this is an exception then that doesn't indicate an anxiety problem.  People get attracted to one another, that's life.  The only complication here is who you did it with.  If nothing is said about it, you both had a good time and it's over.  But you're right, in this day and age, don't go there.  It's kind of sad in a way, because that's how most people used to find their mates, at work.  
Helpful - 0
Thanks for answering.  Yes the first is the legit concern for sure and the second issue about how it affects me in the future is probably all in my head.  
I posted here for a couple of reasons.  One the anxiety from this mistake is overwhelming, almost paralyzing.  But two that anytime I slip up I feel these types of things. I feel anxiety wondering what people think of me, what people will say, will I lose my job, am I bad person, am I untrustworthy? Will anyone even talk about this in the future, I don't want to feel like I keep secrets.
It's like my conscience is in overdrive.  It always happens.  Like I'll get a compliment at work and think I don't deserve it because I gave this secret.
Or she'll have a bad day at work and I think she no longer respects my position because I acted so foolishly.
I have a tendency to be very hard on myself and get very down.
I'm going to see a therapist soon about this.  Hopefully it'll help calm me down a bit.
I know I'm only human and did nothing horrible, but I feel like maybe others wouldn't see that.  Stupid I know.
973741 tn?1342342773
Time heals?  I really think in this case it will.  If she talks . . . she makes herself look bad if she makes you look bad. And in this day and age, hook ups are not uncommon. I'm not going to minimize your feelings though.  I'm just saying this should dull with time and just stay busy and focus in on WORK when at work.  good luck
Helpful - 0
Thank you so much.  I hope you're right.  Feels a little strange at work but I feel some of thar may be in my head.
Really thankful for your words right now
And just to make everyone feel less guilty, hookups have always been common, they just weren't always talked about, especially since the major religions appeared and suppressed sexuality.  I'm kind of old and my parents were young in the so-called sexless early 20th century, but if you talk to those folks, you'll find even then hookups happened.  The problem today is, we're going through a difficult phase in the workplace.  I assume we'll work it out over time, but it's going to be difficult because with all the time people spend at work it's the place most people used to find their mates.  I imagine that's going to have to change for a while.  So I get the angst the poster is feeling, but that's separate from anxiety.  Be safe out there, folks.
Thank you for your words.  You've all helped me a bit.  Ive made an apt to talk to someone again about my thoughts. It's been a while since I have so better not to spiral.
I appreciate everyone here that's answered.
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