anxiety?

[worriewort]

my daughter is 9 going to be 10 next month. She started her period 2 weeks ago. She has told me tonight that ever since she's started her period, she's is having breathing problems off and on.  She says she's in class and it feels she cannot inhale enough in her lungs.  She says she needs air and sometimes goes outside. She never has never been diagnosed or have had asthma symptoms or even a chest cold in her life...so I really don't think it's that. I think it's her hormones. I've never noticed she's felt this way, she plays soccer and runs around and has no trouble. She says she's fine, it's when she stops playing at recess or sits in class. She also mentioned she doesn't like when people stand real close to her, she feels smothered.

She has no self estem issues. She's beautiful, smart, has a great sense of humor and lots of friends.  I have anxiety, and when I have my attacks, I have trouble breathing. I'm so upset, I think I passed it on to her. I feel so bad now.  I'm crying as I sit here and type. I think this is all my fault.

I'm going to take her to her peditrician just to rule out any respitory problems. I have my told my little girl about the techniques I have learned to make my self relax.  If anyone has any advice, I could you it.

[hollygcat]

It could just be the hormone change in her body.  I know women that developed some panic like symptoms after having a baby.  But never developed full panic disorder.  The things hormones can do to us!  Don't blame yourself.  Just continue to be the supportive mom that you obviously are.

Of course pursue the medical avenues first.  Now that she has gotten her period, you may want to ask your pediatrician if your daughter is old enough to see an Ob-Gyn.  It will be a bigger relief that she is medically fine.  What she is experiencing now does not mean you passed this on to her.  But if she does develop further anxiety, she's not alone.  She has a mom who understands it and can help her deal with it.  My mom also suffers from anxiety and panic disorder and she has been my rock in dealing with it.  In college I would call her at 3:30 am and she would talk me down.  Breathe with me, teach me calming tecniques and most of all love and support.  Over the years, she has helped me deal with this disorder in so many ways.

I agree with suzi-q.  Let her know you understand but keep down-played.  My mom had always done that with me too.  Good luck to you and please give yourself a break!

  

[suzi-q]

Do not blame yourself for her anxiety.  We pass on so many things to our children and got so many things from our parents.  It is just the way life goes!  Get the complete physical and take it from there.  Teach her your techniques, but don't be over protective of her over this.  If she knows that you are upset and feels that she is going to feel like this "forever" it will increase the anxiety.  Try to down-play it but still listen.  It will probably subside on its own.  However, if it gets worse, seek professional attention.  

I am sure that you are a wonderful mother and she is very lucky to have you.  Do not do that to yourself.  It isn't fair to you.  She will be fine and she will learn how to deal with things herself with your supervision.  BEST TO YOU!