I know how you feel in most of that. Everytime my husband would yell i would just go into a panic and do some pretty dumb stuff. But i have now learned that when he starts to yell i go into almost a blank stare and just keep my mind somewheres else. Sometimes i sit there and think of my daughter and when she first started walking and talking etc. That really started helping me because once he realized that i was not responding he would give up (thank god). I am truly sorry what you are going through because this is all such a hard thing to deal with everyday. I truly hope things get better for you and if you find something that helps you let us know. Good luck
Sounds to me like you are doing exactly what you should be! I can't think of anything else you could be doing to help yourself. That you are in therapy is excellent and he/she will be able to answer the question you posted to us.
The inability to argue constructively is something many of us have. It's causes are many. For me, it was because while I was growing up, I was never allowed to argue with my parents, or have an opinion about anything............like good table manners or right from wrong, I really believe parents should teach us how to argue effectively, how to stay on point and to listen to what the other person is saying, and most importantly, how to concede gracefully if we are convince we were wrong. Saying "I'm sorry" would, naturally, be part of this education. Maybe schools could offer a class such as "The Art of Arguing 101."
Your life will NOT be destroyed by this. You realize you have a problem and you are actively seeking solutions, so that makes you a very smart lady and if you want to argue that point............bring it on! LOL