Pap test anxiety, i need help!

[curlydog415]

i am a 35 year old white female who does not smoke, but i have people around me who smoke.  i have never had children by choice.  i have had 2 sex partners in my life.  the first was from the age of 24 to 28 and my current partner and i have been together since i was 28 years old.  both of these men have had previous sex partners.  i have obsessive compusive disorder and severe anxiety.  i started seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist last february.  because of my mental conditions i am extremely afraid of going to the doctor.  i am not so much scared of the doctor as a person but i am afraid of 'test results'.  i am afraid of 'waiting' for my results to come in.  i am hysterically scared that they will find something seriously wrong with me yet i am afraid to have the test.  i know this makes no sense (that is party why i am in therapy).  anyhow, i had my first pap and pelvic exam (at the age of 34) about a year ago.  the pap came back 'inconclusive' not enough cells were collected so i basically had no result.  during the test it was somewhat painful and i had light spotting for about a day.  the nurse practitioner said this was normal.  i tested positive for bacterial vaginosis and no STD's.  the nurse practitioner said to retest in 3-4 months since they were not able to get a 'result' on my pap test.  anyhow, i have not gone back yet...  i am so scared that since i have never had a pap test, especially at my age of 35, that i will have cancer!  i know cervical cancer has no symptoms (at least at the start of it).  i  have no bleeding in between periods and no bleeding after sex.   what are my chances (percentage wise) of having actual cervical cancer at this point??  my boyfriend had a wart removed from his penis about 2 years ago.  his doctor said he could have been infected with hpv at any point in his life.  i know the kind of hpv that causes warts is considered low risk hpv.  i know he or my previous partner could have other more dangerous hpv strains.  i have been talking with my mental health therapist extensively about my fears and i am planning on getting another pap test after my next period.  if anyone could please give me some feed back about my odds i would greatly appreciate it.    

[kylieshark]

I know this is an old post and you probably got your test done already but I want you to know your never alone in your fear.
I'm an 18 year old suffering from OCD, depression, panic and anxiety disorders.
In september I became obsessed about possibly having an std from a boyfriend who cheated on me. I went for all std testing and it came back fine.
In early december I went for testing again and pap tests this time the 6 week wait was horrible! But all came back normal.
Still to this day almost 6 months later I still fear that I could possibly develop warts or give someone hpv without knowing. My obsession is taking over my life I can't go a day without checking my downstairs region to see if I got warts over night.
Not to mention the pain I've endured disecting every bump down there seeing if I was okay. I now have to go to doctors and get put on meds for my obsession.
People think its so crazy to worry about something so common as hpv but to people like you and me, we would give anything to be able to think the way they do.
The biggest wart we have is the good old worry wart.
I want you to also no that paps can be painful when your nervous because you tense up, mine was. I also experienced bleeding for about two days after and as I said my pap was fine.
Just wish this HPV worry would go away now.
I hope your tests and results were good and I hope your doing a lot better.

[nursegirl6572]

The best thing to do, which you seem to already know (which is the first step) is to STAY in therapy.

Like marbles said, there is enough to worry about in real life than to waste time and energy worrying about something that A. We cannot control and B. is unlikely anyway.

Being afraid to have a pap is silly, although you already know that.  You're worrying about having cervical cancer, yet the way to detect it is through a pap smear.  Obviously, early detection makes the difference between a good and bad prognosis in a lot of cases.

It doesn't sound like you have much to worry about when it comes to cervical cancer.  Schedule that pap and dive into therapy.  You are getting older, and routine testing of different sorts will be recommended starting over the next decade for you, you want to get into a better place before you have to tackle those preventative diagnostic tests without thinking every one of them will lead to a horrible terminal diagnosis.  Those tests are to maintain your good health and catch anything early...so they are important.  You just need to keep working with the therapist so that you can handle them as a routine study with no worries in between.

Life is too short to fill it with unnecessary worry.  Save that worry should you ever REALLY need it, which, hopefully...you never will!

[curlydog415]

this is a big part of why i am seeing a psychiatrist and therapist.  i feel mortified to get a pap test thinking there is something wrong - since i've never had one with any results.  i'm told i always think the worse...  i'm trying to change my thought patterns.

[allmymarbles]

Why waste worry on a vague possibility of something being wrong? There are enough real problems in life without creating more. I think the constant media and advertiser badgering about all the horrible things that can happen to us is very unhealthy. It is no wonder that people worry about nonexistent problems. I once kept tract of all the spurious statistics concerning ailments - such and such percent are prediabetic, such and such percent have high blood pressure, etc. etc. I kept a list and every time there was a new pronouncement I wrote it down. It turned out that everyone (if you believe this stuff) has several chronic diseases. Now they have everyone worrying about swine flu which is no more deadly than any other flu. It's a good thing I have a sense of humor.