Last year in september I was assaulted at a night club, and was shaken. My doctor prescribed me aropax (called paxil in the USA and seroxat in the UK) without much convincing at all. I was reluctant to take it, so held off for a week. I then started on one tablet per day for a month. I then ceased due to the EXTREME anxiety. I only have EXTREME and IRRATIONAL anxiety forthe events that occured while I was on aropax.
Let me give you an example. When on the SSRI aropax, I visited a legal brothel here in Australia. I did not have sex with the sex worker. Rather, feeling a tad guilty, I turned over and asked for a massage. She became a little angry and gave a very rough massage, pinching my back etc. She insited on sex as her "service" but i declined a few times. No sexual contact at all. Now, that night, suddenly, I developed this fear about HIV. How is this for anxiety and paranoia - I conluded that the worker must have infected me or something when I was getting a back rub. I tested despite not being at risk (no sex, just a back rub) and this came back negative after seven weeks when 95% of people test positive according to all HIV specialists. I also had a special viral load test at a designated time after suspected exposure and the HIV/AIDS counselor said it is impossible to get my results and be infected. Rationally, I was not at any risk in the first place. On top of that, I tested negative when 95% of people test positive. Also, I have a viral load test which is 97% accurate. I still have anxiety over this event.
What is going on? Outside that particular month, I have anxiety about nothing. I have read studies that GSK which makes paxil/seroxat/aropax has had some class actions against it for this kind of side effect. Granted I am the 2-3% with such side effects, but how on earth do I move past this? Is there a good method of therapy? Technique?
I know it is irrational. I know it is silly. I know there was no chance in the first place.