I have had issues with anxiety, particularily health anxiety/ hypochondria for most of my life, officially diagnosed in 2008 while in University. My worst fear is not having control over my body. I used to fear falling asleep, and would stay up all night being of afraid of closing my eyes, to me dying and sleep where the same thing. I've come a long way since then of course, but general anesthetics and surgery are my ultimate worst fear. How do I consent to let someone put me asleep, unconscious to whats happening, let them control my breathing, my life, cut me open and not know if I'll wake up with all my organs (they may need to remove my ovary/tubes, I'm 25 yo, no children) or with a scar across my abdomen?
The surgery is inevitable. How in the world do I go through with it? How do I deal with it? I wish there was someway of doing exposure therapy, but aside from getting really drunk and passing out I don't see how...