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Please help

I'm a couple months removed from an HIV scare but still I don't feel right. I have little symptoms that keep bringing HIV to light and not letting me heal. The worst issue that I have is I always have a feeling under my armpit. There are no lumps, just a mild soreness. Can my mind still just be playing tricks on me? Has anyone else had feelings in lymph node areas but no swollen lymph nodes? How the hell can I get passed this? I've had 6 negative hiv tests out to 3 months. I also was the brief insertive partnerwith a woman. People spit out lots of facts that point to me being negative but I still can't move on. I really want to know though is if this underarm thing just anxiety?
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Avatar universal
Thanks Nursegirl its been a long strange trip. I'm happy it's over
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
No one is surprised but you!  I'm very glad, I sincerely hope you work to finally put this behind you once and for all.  If you can't, you need to look into getting some professional help!
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Avatar universal
Guys my six month test came back negative thanks a lot
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Avatar universal
And it wasn't my idea to test again. It was a sneak attack but I'm sure either way it will be of the best. I've been a wreck for 6 months. I will have no problem accepting a six month test. I'm crazy but not that crazy lol
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Avatar universal
Will do Nursegirl. Thanks for being amazing!!!!!!!
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
You don't need luck!  You didn't need a 6 month test!

But...please do come back and let us know when you get your negative results!  ;0)
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Avatar universal
Guys please wisH me luck and keep me in your thoughts I just took my6 month HIV test.
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480448 tn?1426948538
I have no doubt.
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Avatar universal
Nursegirl you have been so wonderful to me and I do appreciate it. Before I ever thought of HIV I was nauseous for a week. No other symptoms it makes me think that I had hep a and that has been the reason I did not detect antibodies. Just answer me this has there been other people who have had similar symptoms eg the feeling in the lymph nodes and still tested negative? Could it be that I gained 40 pds on the seroquel that is making me more sore? You have no doubt that I'm negative?
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Sigh.

Why would I have not had detectable antibodies by 89 day?   You would have, we already went over this.

Can i really be the 3% .  3% of what?  People that MAY take up to 6 months to produce detectable antibodies?  Unless you are receiving chemo, dying from advanced, terminal cancer, are taking anti rejection meds after an organ transplant, then you wouldn't be in the 3%.  Even people in that category (severely immunocompromised) almost always test + within the 3 month period.  The 6 month recommendation is conservative, and cautious.

How long have you been seeing mental health professionals?  If only a few months, you need to give this time.  Anxiety does not go away on its own.  You are keeping yourself in the anxiety cycle with the overanalyzing of all of your physical sensations.  Chances are, if you were not anxious, you wouldn't even notice these sensations.  That's what anxiety does.

You need to communicate what is going on to your therapists and doctors.  Perhaps you need a different or additional medication?  These are the kinds of things you should be working with your doctor about.  Remember, it takes time.  Patience is important.  You're not going to wake up tomorrow anxiety free.

IF you are doing things to feed in to the anxiety, like search the web for HIV info, etc...then you are only hurting yourself.  I have a hunch you're still doing that, which may be part of the reason you aren't seeing much improvement in the level of anxiety.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Guys I'm gripped with anxiety again and can't seem to move out of my own way. I can't get this out of my mind because I still EVERYDAY have weird sensations in my Jaw, chin, groin AND MOST OF ALL my armpits. Why would I have not had detectable antibodies by 89 day? My odds were low of even getting it. I really don't understand what to do. I'm already taking seroquel and i'm in counseling with three different people. Please help!!!! Can i really be the 3%
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Avatar universal
Thank you very much!
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Again, because of anxiety, you are asking us to repeat info we've already told you (more than once).

I'll play along this last time, but no longer, as it only fuels your anxiety more to keep going round and round.

1. if my nodes were truly swollen I would feel lumps correct? I already addressed this above.  You are not qualified to assess your nodes and should not be poking at them.  If you are concerned, see your doctor.  There are thousands of reasons your nodes COULD be swollen if they are, none of them HIV in your case.  Lymph node swelling is a common immune system response to all kinds of things, illnesses, allergies, foreign bodies (ie new piercings), a tooth going bad, you name it.  There will be times where you may feel perfectly fine and not ill, and you could have swollen lymph nodes.  It's not a concerning finding at ALL in most cases.

There is no way my 13 week negative will turn positive correct? 12 weeks is conclusive, and the vast majority of newly infected people will test + very early on, within weeks of their exposure (most by 6-8 weeks), so your result is conclusive.  13 weeks is MORE than enough time to produce detectable antibodies.  Again, this is repeating the same info.  You do not and could not have HIV, you would have tested + if you did.

I was soooo sick and nothing explains it.  I'm sure before this, there have been plenty of times in your life that you were ill without explanation.  MOST of the time we're sick, there is no definitive answers why.  THIS time, however, because of your HIV scare, you're hell bent on wanting to know why you were so sick.  You were sick, and that's the end of it. The WHY doesn't matter if you're not sicj anymore.  What you DO know is that your symptoms were not related to HIV.  Any number of every day viral infections (flus, colds) could have caused your illness, and many of the symptoms you experienced wee most likely anxiety related.

Now, go get yourself some help.  If you continue to test, and search the internet for info about HIV, you will only feed into your anxiety, and anxiety left untreated can become debilitating and change your life, and not in a good way.
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Avatar universal
nursegirl a couple of questions and I won't ask again. 1. if my nodes were truly swollen I would feel lumps correct? There is no way my 13 week negative will turn positive correct? I was soooo sick and nothing explains it.
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
YOU can not diagnose swollen lymph nodes, only a medical professional can, and it takes THEM years of practice, it's not an easy thing to learn to do, because nodes are almost always palpable.  It takes practice to learn the difference between normal and swollen.

Greenlydia gave you excellent advice, I suggest you follow it.  You have WAY over tested.  Keep testing when you don't have to, and you'll eventually have to go through the hell of enduring a false positive.  Think you're anxious NOW?

Get yourself some help to deal with the anxiety and help you accept the overwhelming facts that you don't have HIV.  Everyone knows you don't, except YOU.
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Avatar universal
i agree with the first comment, i'm currently worrying about my twitchy weak little finger i just won't stop looking at it, i have to check on it every couple of minutes then it feels wierd and starts to twitch then i panic and the cycle starts all over again. i hate feeling like my body has control over me. i hope you feel better soon
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i agree with the first comment, i'm currently worrying about my twitchy weak little finger i just won't stop looking at it, i have to check on it every couple of minutes then it feels wierd and starts to twitch then i panic and the cycle starts all over again. i hate feeling like my body has control over me. i hope you feel better soon
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It was unprotected and I tested negative 3,4,5,8,10 and 13 weeks. I'm on seroquel and see a pshyciatrist and a therapist already lol and I can still can't move on. My main reason is the feeling in my armpits, groin at times and jaw but there are no lumps that i can feel, just soreness.
     Green if my lymph nodes were swollen I would feel lumps correct? Could anxiety really make me feel these symptoms in my body?
Helpful - 0
370181 tn?1595629445
If you have had SIX negative results for HIV but continue to attribute every ache and pain to it, you have HIV Anxiety.

I suggest you go to our HIV Anxiety Group and learn to accept your negative status and move on. (You can find the group at the bottom of the main index page under "Groups")

If, after spending some time there discussing your anxiety and you still cannot get past this, then it's time to consider professional therapy.

You wrote that you were also "the brief insertive partner with a woman."
Did you use a condom? If yes, you had no risk. If not, was one of your six tests done 12 weeks post that exposure? If yes, and it was negative, then accept it.

Our minds are incredibly powerful and when you are seriously anxious about something, such as HIV, your mind will manifest symptoms which will increase your anxiety which will produce more symptoms.......it's a vicious cycle that you must find a way to stop. Most of us have found help with therapy.

BTW, IF the lymph nodes under your arm WERE swollen, you would feel them. I'm betting that you are sore because you keep poking and prodding that area. Stop it!

It might also relieve your mind to go in for a complete physical and discuss with your doc everything that is on your mind. Just sayin'

I'm sure you're fine, but I doubt anything I've said is going to magically take away your fear. Ask yourself what WILL.........then do it.
Peace
Greenlydia
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Anytime you concentrate on a particular part of your body you feel weird feelings there..that has been my experience anyway.  I proved this to myself by concentrating on things like my foot and being hypersensitive to every little feeling.  If you don't actually feel a swollen lymph node, you really need to try to get your mind somewhere else and quit concentrating so hard on it.  I know this is way easier said than done, believe me.  And there are millions of other things that can cause pain under your arm.  Muscle tension is one and when you stress your muscles tense all up.
Helpful - 0
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