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Please help

suffer with severe OCD and false memory and can never determine what is the truth and what isn’t but recently found out I am pregnant and am constantly worrying about the paternity of my baby even though i have only been with my partner, there was a night out me and my partner had roughly around the time i conceived and I was quite drunk but remember most of the night, I keep getting the what If I got raped or had sex with someone in the pub toilet even though this is something I would never do but what if this happend and I can’t remember even though I remember most parts of the night phone calls I made to family and friends songs that I was singing remember leaving and what pjs I put on when I got home why is this illness ruining my life
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973741 tn?1342342773
Do you see a psychologist? Would be good to do so. There is something called thought or Pure O OCD that involves intrusive thoughts. The premise is that we all have random thoughts all day long. Everyone. But someone with this anxiety disorder takes all thoughts seriously. They feel compelled to seek reassurance or investigate it. Ruminate over it. Check. Look things up. Etc. All of that? It makes the random thought feel real. Then we start to have the obsessive thought come into play and we need to do something to alleviate it. And it works briefly but then we are right back to worrying later. Sound like you?
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The remedy is hard. First Identify it simply as an ocd thought/anxiety thought. Label it. You can say 'that's just an ocd/anxiety thought'. Then you can try to put more distance on it "X (your name) is having an ocd/anxiety thought.". Start with that. Then your job is to resist over thinking it, looking it up, asking others, etc. If you can say 'maybe maybe not' . . . shoulder shrug . . .  whatever? That is great. It's going to be extremely uncomfortable. It's part of the disorder. You aren't feeding it, it wants fed. But NOT doing the normal behaviors you do will make the thoughts lose power and go away. Being pregnant brings on hormones that makes things worse. You need to TELL your doctor that you have anxiety/ocd. You may need medication while pregnant. and Right after you give birth is a very intense time of increased anxiety for a lot of people. So, you need to be medically treated. ERP is the gold standard in terms of psychotherapy for this issue. Make sure you stay on top of it.

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