Prooblem with Shyness and Difficulty Smiling

[risa85]

Hi,
i have this problem that has been bordering me since when i was very young. As i grew older it became worse. I am now 23 years old. I have a problem with shyness and smiling in public. When i am with some people i am familiar with, like family members and cousins, i usually smile but when i am around a crowd of people (it does not matter if people i know are  in the crowd), i become very shy, don't make too much eye contact and i dont smile at all. if they laugh out loud in the crowd, sometimes i usually think they are laughing at me. When i am walking towards a direction, and i see a crowd of people ahead of me conversing or standing, i prefer to go through another direction just because of my shyness and the fact that it is difficult to smile around people.  I have always been told to smile when i am in public, i have had some people who have told me that the world is not  a difficult place to live in (because i am not smiling). As a result of this problem, i have lost a lot of friends and  i consider my self not having any social life. Most of the time, i am alway alone in public ( i am not a loner, i really want to be social and have a lot of friends but my lack of smile and being shy would not allow me). My lack of smile is like a threat to people. It is very easy to tell that i am not social when i converse with people because of the way i talk to them or my non-verbal communication.  I am sick and tired of this problem, sometimes i often force my self to smile, but when i do that, i dont know when that non-smiling face would appear again. It is like i am used to it. This problem is like my major limitation. Please if there is anybody who have gone through what i am going through OR if anybody knows what i can do (treatment) to get over this terrible problem, i would highly appreciate it if you can share. I would be forever be greatful if i can find a cure to this problem that is affecting me both socially and emotionally.

Thanks Inadvance for your help.

[freeman91]

I had the same problem as yours and i overcome this just by doing something very simple.Just try this.When you know you are gonna face people soon just concentrate your eyes on some spot on a wall or anything for like a minute.I feel so relaxed after doing this and i can face people with confidence and smile openly.

[freeman91]

I had the same problem as yours and i overcome this just by doing something very simple.Just try this.When you know you are gonna face people soon just concentrate your eyes on some spot on a wall or anything for like a minute.I feel so relaxed after doing this and i can face people with confidence and smile openly.

[chocorome]

I have the same problem like yours... exactly the same... fake smiling , avoid from eyed contacted, fake laugh , when someone laughing or tried to make me laugh they noticed that i'm faking my (both) smile & laugh.... and when i fake smile or laugh it won't last longer than 1 minute.... someone please help us?

[tetea22]

I feel happy and comforted to know that I'm not alone having this problem.I have been searching the solution to this problem but till now I can't find it.I too can smile when I am near to family members and relatives or someone I know well but whenever I am near to people i am not familiar with,I just can't smile no matter how hard I try.It makes me feel miserable and depressed.I can't fight it.When I forced myself to smile,I look like I'm going to cry.This is really weird.I am now 22.I'll do anything to overcome this problem.

[fearnomore]

We have the same problem. When i'm talking only with one person or in my own family i can smile but when i'm in crowd i can't. Maybe the reason for mine is that i'm afraid i will not smile. This problem gives me depression and stress. You know when i'm in elementary and high school i always smile but when i become college things have changed. Yes, i can smile but not in a crowd. Everytime I feel fear that my smiling would disappear my lips are like trembling and people thinks i'm angry and then they stop even though i dont mean that. Please reply here risa85 if you found solution on this problem same as yours. I will also post here if I found solution so that you will also able to manage your problem. Thanks.

[jdtm]

I think you are displaying signs of social anxiety.  If so, this disorder is highly treatable.  Begin by speaking to your family physician; if he/she is unable to help you, then ask for a referral to a specialist with experience in anxiety disorders.  I wish you the best ...