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Relationships

I always have anxiety when my boyfriend and I have a argument or break up , I don't eat or sleep . And I throw up constantly , when we have problems I don't know how to deal . I start having severe panic attacks . And I just think about what was said during the altercation and just fixate my mind on it , I need advice how to deal with it . Please help !
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Avatar universal
Hi! You sound exactly like me. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4years and weve broken up 3 times. Its really hard trying to get your relationship to move forward. The best thing I've found to work was I started seeing a counselor and learning how to Agrue with my boyfriend effectively without accusing or yelling. I aslo went to see my doctor because I have GAD and OCD. I been on prozac and it helps. BUT the best thing you can do is start concentrating on yourself...I had to learn I could be happy with or without my BF in my life...now that were back together it's better cause Im not so absorbed in HIM all the time. I have gone back to school and did things for ME! You have to worry about your happiness and health. I know and understand what you are going through and you need to surround yourself with people who love, care and support you. Keep moving forward and find resources to help you through these times. Add me as a friend and if you need anything just message me.

Avatar universal
Thankyou so much ! I really appreciate the support,i make things seem so much worse in my head then it actually is,I take zoloft for anxiety,I'm just 18 years old and anxiety runs my life,it makes it so hard to cope with anything,the smallest problems become my worst nightmare.
Avatar universal
And I'm new to this so I'm not sure how to add friends.
Avatar universal
Just click on my user name and itll take you to my profile and on there is a button Add Friend. Youre welcome, we all need support.
1669548 tn?1318792334
I judge the seriousness of an argument with my wife based on whether or not I barf an hour or so after the fight is finished. I know EXACTLY what that feels like. I never realized I had anxiety as I've always had a nervous stomach, but that's the hardship of living with anxiety- until it gets completely out of hand, we all find ways of masking the issue.

    At your age, no relationship is easy- I wish I had better news for you there, but life experience and even all this relationship experience is making you better at dealing with relationship issues- you need a little time and distance to process this, but every relationship is a learning process- it gets better with age, but I suspect that you're not here for relationship advice.
      If you're suffering from anxiety, or are bordering the point where anxiety is having a negative effect on your enjoyment of life, it is a great time to look for help. Everyone's anxiety is different, but you'll find lots of people here who will comment on similarities between your issue and ours- you're not alone,and you're not the only person who suffers with these issues, which is why this place is so valuable.
As Meg said, there is a lot we can learn through guided help- personal counseling is excellent, and among the most valuable tools out there. Therapies that focus on dealing with anxiety can be very effective. Medication, when necessary, may help you to focus or relax to the point where other therapies can help you. Relaxation exercises, picking up a book on anxiety (there are plenty of them!)... all these things are available.
     The particular problem you wrote about, obsessive thinking, is really common. I deal with it too. When I use that particular habit at work; it makes me very, very good at my job, so long as I don't lose the big picture. I do the same thing with my wife, which does lead to me beating a dead horse sometimes when we're conflicted, or when I'm troubled.
    For yourself, taking a step back when you're obsessively thinking about something is a critical step. Ask yourself if you're rationally thinking about this issue at the time. If yes, you need to either finish your thought or shelve it for a while. If no, you need to do something else with your time. I walked, when I first started therapy. I would focus on my breathing, the sound of the environment around me, and it was calming. At times I would finish my walk, and the problem was either back in proper proportion in my mind, or I could reasonably focus on something else.
          Exercise is the universal best treatment for anxiety. A short walk works virtually 100% of the time to ease symptoms. Over the long run, a lifestyle change to include more exercise helps a LOT of people who suffer from anxiety.
     We can't tell you not to worry about your relationship problems. I can tell you that you can't control other people in any meaningful way, but being aware that you're a good person doing the right thing is comforting- when you accept that, you will see that all you can do is your best, and everything else is not in your control, and not worth focusing obsessively over.
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Arlington, VA
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