Geez, alot of your story (most recent one) is similar to mine.
Congratulations for speaking out on this forum. It will help you...if only to vent.
We have a great network of folks who have traveled the same or similar road you're on and we can support you.
First...I hope you can keep up driving back and forth to work. It was hard for me too before I retired. I coped with this fear by putting an upbeat electronic CD on. That and keeping focused on road, while observing the beauty of nature all around put me in right place mentally. I was a virtual librarian in huge public library. Once I got in place @ my computer ...hooked up to phone...was fine.
Are you ok @ work? Does the familiarity of routine help you to settle down after drive in?
I wanted to jump out of my car many times when assigned to small branches of library that required me to be on major roads.....I have run a red light and pulled out in front of 3 lanes of oncoming traffic when panic attack struck ...was stopped by a nice cop who saw I was in distress...and didn't give me a ticket.
Also have been so panicked, I simply pulled into nearest shop and asked to use phone
to call for help.
Having a bf with me helped tremendously....but...as you mentioned...can't count on that always.
Re meds....my struggle has been similar...can't now take SSRI's. Even Effexor which is the catagory of the meds you mention, backfired on me big time.
I have been able to count on Klonopin ...worst side effect being that it is habit forming.
Considering the nasty side effects you suffer...I believe I'd try to stay calm about taking a habit forming drug. You know well what I do...a med might have worked 10 yrs ago...and suddenly ..as body changes it becomes your enemy.
You didn't mention therapy. Are you able to spend time/money to see a therapist while going thru this most recent trial? Or do you see psychiatrist for meds only?
Your condition is going to define your life. Most of us here have accepted that. It is not all bad. I like to say to others that I'm not the adventurous sort, or I've become a nester since retirement.
Won't go on about ways to live with condition...just give meds a try...and know you are the only one who knows the effect they have....take your time...stay in communication with doc. He works for you and really psychiatrists want us functioning as much as we do...they get frustrated as we do...mine is kind....since retirement on Medicare..have to pay for visits...but worth it.
Hope things look up for you soon. Let it all out here.
I cant thank you enough for replying to my post, as a newbie here on this site I find it wonderful to have a site to let it all out and be real with about this panic disorder almost agoraphobic life of mine. I cant believe it as I was not always this way,I used to sing in bands, travel everywhere and love to be outdoors. And now I dont feel comfortable even taking a walk on my own without wanting to run back home but I guess thats what happens when you have so many panic attacks that well you just dont feel like you cant live thru another one and so you learn to do whats comfortable instead of putting the body thru yet another panic episode,sometimes I truly dont feel like I can live thru one more mentally,physically and emotionally.
Boy can I really relate to becoming a nester,I find I have people over for movie nights and dinners as that is most comfortable. Bless you as your story sounds like mine, and I am so sorry you have suffered with this awful disorder too,I hear ya there is no way I could even drive on the freeway and really dont think I ever will be able to. I used to be ok on the back roads and to be on a main busy road I just cant do anymore. Its all so depressing because I really want to LIVE!! I am so grateful when a friend or my boyfriend takes me out somewhere I call it "a field trip" and we all laugh, hey have to keep my sense of humor ya know.And to think years ago I was the one driving people places and helping them anytime I was needed.
Its weird that it feeds on itself and I have become worse and worse thru the years,when it started to get really bad was 8 years ago when I had a complete hysterectomy at the age of 40 and then boy all heck broke loose and I guess you could say I havent been the same since sigh....yes that wanting to jump out of the car feeling is just awful and I really am sorry you have experienced all of this too! Sorry also that you had a hard time with the med trial and error too,its so frustrating. To find a good psychiatrist is also really hard,as they are so overbooked with the insurance situation these days they are looking thru the next patients chart during my visit with them,I have an ok shrinky dink for now but am still in search of someone preferably a female that can walk me thru this thing. I do believe they really want to help us sufferers also and have as many functional patients as possible. Well tomorrow I have my followup appt. with my shrinkydink (my fun little name for the psychiatrist ;) ) anyways and he is going to ask me if I started my "Savella" packet yet and again I have to tell him no I havent,sometimes I wish I could just take a few months off and have time to take care of myself and get stable on the right med so I can not suffer so much. I guess people like us want a quick fix ya know,and you are right about the ativan, they put me on it three years ago when my beloved mama passed away unexpectedly and I was in shock and a mess. I was trying different ssri's then with no luck but only to be frustrated with side effects and so have just been stuck with the ativan in hopes that i find the right med for me and then can slowly wean down once it starts working. I tell myself it wont always be this way, but each day its the same thing the anxiety of driving away from the house just a few blocks to work(which I am grateful for that I live so close to work),but the hardest part is driving home from work for me. I am lucky that some of my coworkers understand my problems and follow me home a little ways down the street until I feel comfortable. And yes when I get settled in at work, and routine does feel better so strange. It was really hard when I was off during winter break for 9 days (I am a payroll tech for a school district) when it came time to go back to work I was shaking. Anyways so good to talk with you and hope to hear from others. I am hoping to get some feed back from anybody who has tried the savella and had any luck with it. The doc mainly wants me on it for my fibromyalgia pain and depression,but I am concerned that it is not really approved for anxiety or depression. Anyways thank you I will keep fighting the good fight on the few blocks I drive each day. Wishing good days ahead for you also and keep in touch!
Congratulations to you, I have all of the above and was unable to keep working. I should have confessed the anxiety and maybe I could have stayed. I'm also on Ativan and have anxiety, depression and fibro. Also had cervical disc removed 6 months ago which aggravated everything. Am trying cymbalta for the 3rd time. Don't think anything really replaces Ativan. Had similar situation 9 years ago and just getting over the depression, keeping life going was able to get off Ativan. You need a good Dr to help with that. Sounds like you're headed in the right direction. I'm not handling mine very well. Have severe strange symptoms after the surgery.
Great comments and support all around, but I would like to introduce to a new group here on MH called "Psychopharmacology," which is run by a very long time poster named Ryan. He can help all of you with your questions about the various meds your taking and offer some great suggestions. The link is below. Just hit open when the box drops down and you'll be able to post your concerns. I urge you to give him a try! Here is the link and I wish you all the best..............
It's ok to give yourself a break from trying another med.
I told my doc I simply couldn't put myself thru another for awhile if ever.
Pharmacist told me last night that Medicare insurance no longer covers Klonopin which works with few side effects. So I have a new expense. Not too bad.
He was very kind, however, and said many people can't tolerate meds that have been tried on me...ok to stay on K if it helps even a little bit.
Talking to others with similar problems here on MedHelp has really started to turn me around. Out to dinner Thurs night ..with no problems. My goal is to get in car and drive somewhere several times a week...once a day if I can. Have to go in store and chat with clerk for social interaction. Really feel better if I can do this.
Take care...and keep communicating...someone must have tried new drug or Ryan can help.
Hi. I have fibro, CFS, and depression/Anxiety. I take Savella twice a day, and have found relief, for most fibro and depression symptoms. Unfortunately, it has not relieved the anxiety as much as I would like. But Savella is a very good product.
I have recently begun a sample packet of savella and my back pain that i had (sciatica) has all but gone. I am amazed that I can move without pain. I am finally putting all the problems together and see that I have most of the same problems that ya'll have talked about. The pain, anxiety, depression and of course the fibro. I was taking cymbalta and it worked at first or so it seemed but for about a year now it just seems it has done nothing for me. My doctor gave me the savella last week and in a week i have been turned around mentally and physically. I hope anyone that is given this med can take it and it works well for you. I feel sorry for other women going through what I have been going through because if you don't have mental problems, the pain from fribro with cause them. Good luk all and thanks for listening.
I am currently on Celexa for depression/anxiety and OCD. I do not have fibro. My daughter does and has just changed to Sevella. I want to change.meds. I feel like I've become immuned to generic for Celexa. I've been on it for 3 years and don't want to increase dosage. Can anyone tell me that's on Sevella who have had same symtoms if it is helping all of them and/or you having to take something else with Sevella? Thanks.