Separation Anxiety?

[Suzyq0826]

Just need to vent......I have been doing really well for a couple of weeks now. My husband has been home and everything is going well, haven't needed any Xanax much lately. I just found out yesterday that he is leaving for South Korea on Sunday for a couple of weeks for work. I'm a wreck now and he hasn't even left yet. I keep trying to tell myself to stop thinking about it and focus on enjoying the next 3 days that we have together, but it's not working.

He travels a lot so when he has a couple of weeks at home I get so used to it and I really enjoy having him around so that when I know he has to leave again I get kind of down, but not like this. He's only had to go there once before which was a year ago...it's really horrible because of the time/day difference we don't even get to talk on the phone. At least when he's in the states we can talk every day.

On top of that, we had a trip planned that he's not going to make it back in time for, so I'm going to go myself. I really don't even want to go anymore, not looking forward to it like was before I found out he couldn't go. But I also don't want to waste both nonrefundable plane tickets and we were going to visit some of my best friends. Maybe taking the trip alone while he's gone is just what I need.

I'm almost beginning to think that if he would change jobs so he didn't have to travel most of my anxiety problems would be over....guess that's kind of a lot to ask. Guess I'll just refill my meds and deal with it.

Feel a little bit better already...just writing this.

[Anxiety2theMAX]

I have been with my husband for 16 years. We haven't had even one full day apart from each other in all those years. He recently got a new job and his boss asked him to travel from our home of NewYork to nevada for one week.(also his first plane ride) I was sort of ok going into it but its day 2 of him gone and i swear i will die by saturday on his return. I feel horrible. cant eat, cant sleep. Our kids, 12 and 6 seem to be "ok" with it. Its just me having an incredibly hard time. I cant function. I feell like half my heart is ripped out and I dont know what to do. He left and i feel so vulnerable. Like if something were to happen im left to fend for myself with no money if it happens to be a car repair. Our car wouldnt even start up the day to the airport needing a jump start from a friend. this trip wasnt even necessary for job advancement. I feel abandoned. Is this normal or am i going out of my mind????

[remar]

i understand about your husband being your (safe person) mine is too. he's an owner operator and gone for a week at a time, sometimes longer. at least i get to talk to him whenever i want. i'm sorry you can't talk to your husband while he's gone, but happy for you that he's joining you on vacation. take care and try to enjoy your vacation. remar

[Suzyq0826]

I did get some good news about our trip that my husband wasn't going to make it back for...he is still leaving for So Korea in a couple of days, but he will be flying back on the 12th and his company has agreed (how generous of them since they sent him away in spite of approved vacation time :-)))) to fly him back into Chicago while I am still there...he'll miss part of the trip, but at least we'll have a couple of days and get to travel back together.

Of course after a 14 hour flight and travelling backwards in time I don't know what shape he's going to be in. He actually gets into Chicago before he leaves Korea.

It's still going to be a tough time for me while he's gone, but it does help to have something positive to look forward to.

[Suzyq0826]

You know what....I never thought of it that way, but you're right. My husband is my "safe" person. Everything is always better when he's here. Looking forward to talking to you later.
Suzy

[sierrasong]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Suzy))))))))))))))))))))))

I just checked the forum quickly as I was about to run out the door (I've been babysitting my 3 year old grandson all day) and I'll drop you a note later.  Hang in there...love and prayers coming your way.

I know what it's all about having a "safe" person.  When they're far away it can be tougher than tough.

Marsha

[Suzyq0826]

Thank you...I really appreciate the support in this forum, it helps so much. I do try to stay busy when he's away, I can stay at my office and work all night if I want to, I have that much work to do....but I find it hard to concentrate all the time so then I get even more behind. Being an accountant quarter-ends are particularly time-intensive and stressful...it's really the only time I have pressing deadlines at work, and I have to meet them. Going back to taking my Xanex is the only way I will be able to focus like I need to.
Many of my friends still have children at home, activities and couples-things on the weekends..my daughter lives in Washington DC so I don't see her ver often and my sons have lives of their own...They're only 22 and 25 years old and I don't want them worrying about me.
I think this forum is probably the best place for me right now :-)))
Suzy

[Suzyq0826]

Thanks for your reply...I have lived in Colorado now for 15 years, I am originally from Chicago which is where I'm going, and will be staying with my best friends once I get there and then visiting my brother in Michigan for a couple of days and then back to Chicago. I will be surrounded by some of the people closest to me in the world, I'm just really disappointed that my husband won't be with me.
I do need the Xanax more when he is travelling, not even sure why. But I think that all of us that suffer anxiety can't always explain why we react to certain things the way we do. Generally I don't get angry about his travel, he's been doing it since long before we even met, so it's not like I didn't know what I was in for.

I get disappointed and the house is lonely.

For the first couple of days, I enjoy the solitude...get the house the way I want things, don't have anyone to pick up after or cook for. Then I start to get lonely...I have my work, and I have friends here too, but I get tired of being in the big empty house all alone, sleeping and waking up alone...

The overseas travel is the hardest, especially since we won't be able to talk on the phone. He's a geophysical engineer and does unconventional gas exploration and will be in a remote part of South Korea where even if we were in the same time zone, he wouldn't likely get cell service. He'll email me when and if he can, but he's just going to be so far away....I'll worry about him and really miss him, so yes...I will probably take a daily Xanax for the next couple of weeks. What I'd really like to do is stop obsessing about his departure Sunday, and concentrate on the time we have before he leaves, but it just makes me sad to think about it.

He really is the love of my life and my very best friend, and I always miss him so much when he's away.

[scaredjo]

i feel for you really bad my hubby only works an hour away but he just told me from july he has do 12 hour days and weekends......i freaked!!! i think its the comfort of having them around the re-assurance i dunno really what to say all my mates have told me i cant do anything about it (but that dont help) all i can say is friends friends friends be around them and you always got the forum if you feel lonely , scared or sad, i truly hope you`ll be ok, im here for you :-)

[MrGreen]

Have you not got a best friend who can go on the trip with you? I have never been in the same situation, so won't pretend I know what it must be like. But not having the person you love close to you must be hard. But you have the right place to vent. Just curious about the xanax taken. Do you really need them when he is not there? More anxiety when alone? Or just peeved off that he is gone away? You can vent some more when you read my reply.