Sexual Anxiety

[liquidglass]

Okay so here is my situation and i don't know if I am normal or what not.  I will start from the beginning.  When I was 17 years old I went to a prostitute, we where in my car and I had protected sex.  I did the deed and I threw away the condom, 30 minutes later had passed and I was paranoid and I went to look for the condom to see if it had any holes.  I was dating my ex-wife and before she became my wife she cheated on me but i still loved her and she gave me an std....curable but from the moment on I have always been super paranoid of std to the point that I make my self sick and to top it all up.  I got to the Planned Parenthood every quarter to get a full panel of std checked on me even though i do not have sex.  I seem to drive all my potential mates away because i get them tested every month even though they are with me.  I do not know what is wrong with me.  I am currently talking to this girl and we have done foreplay and oral sex but i cannot engage in normal penis-vagina sex.  I really think I am loosing my mind to the point that I wanted to have a chemical castration done on me.