I have wrote here before but would like like to write to ask for peoples opinions who havent already seen my posts.
Since around the age of 10 i suffered from thoughts of cars flying in to me, or cars on string (Odd i know) i was hit by a car a few years before and saw a plane crash at an airshow. The thoughts went eventually and popped up every now and then, this was okay to handle.
I heard a song which was an upbeat quick tempo song whilst on a car journey, since then i never liked the song and didn't like fast songs.
It went again, and the Cars and Planes never bothered me. When i was around 14 i suffered from them again for around 3 months.
I then a year later suffered from them again and found it hard at school, the thoughts were now different they were of things going fast say imagine - The sea going fast, cars going fast, people speaking fast ECT - and i had them constantly they caused me many hours of hardly any sleep and a few days of school, it caused me so much anxiety i got, hot and bothered i also shaked and was always scared for my future.
My mum, dad, auntie and Nan found out and eventually after a long period saw a councilor for six 1 hour sessions.
She talked to me about it and i found it didn't help to much, we only practiced a few breathing techniques and talked even though she was nice.
I didn't really have a connection with her.
I had the thoughts on and off in long or short periods - Now they are mostly of traveling fast such as where i am spinning or being on like a fast ride - It's still very distressing. I told my girlfriend and i cried about it sadly which made her cry.
We are still together after over two years.
I find i still get them and only my girlfriend knows i have them.
I find the thoughts can be constant and when there not I am either anxious or depressed about them, i find myself isolation myself in my room, turning on my laptop and TV and sitting there. I search up about mental issues and OCD to calm me down and sometimes i cant sleep.
I have been back to the GP about a year ago one person said i will refer you if you dont feel better a month later, i went back then another doctor had to see me and said it's just a teenage thing.
I worry about my future and my carrer of being a Filmmaker, i think that i may be mad or depressed my whole life.
I find i will one minuet be Happy thinking maybe i will be okay today then i get sad and depressed.
I feel like if i bother my girlfriend too much i will upset her which did happen a few times with my Mum and Dad.
It's worse on nights for me. I find it's hard for me to concentrate when i have them bad and also i find myself having racing thoughts, i sometimes find it hard to rest.
And sometimes i feel like i have loads of thoughts in my head like sometimes feel my thoughts are goinging on by themselves, when I'm really stressed almost shouting (which is utter nonsense) but that might be due to the fact i suffer from Tinnitus. That scares me sometimes because it's stupid.
If I'm suffering Bad from anxiety i can get a BIT paranoid.
I dont really worry about the plane crash or car crash anymore. Although i dont like things going fast or roller coasters
Not asking for a diagnosis just an opinion.