Stress, OCD, Fear, Anxiety

[Stressedandworried1]

I feel lost.  I had an episode in my life a few months ago that put me in panic mode.  Although i was not at risk (as per experts) and have tested negative from my experience.  I find myself constantly on google (looking for confirmation, checking test accuracy, etc etc)  how do i move on?   I cannot talk to anyone about this including my wife.  We just had multiples and i find myself thinking that the mistake i made may keep me from watching them grow up.  Not sure if im depressed, anxious, ocd?  My tongue is coated and burns sometimes, and the tip of my tongue is red, which i heard is a precurser to a breakdown.  Do i need meds?  I cannot go 5 mins without thinking of my mistake.   Im lost.  Any help is appreciated.  

[Stressedandworried1]

Thank You all very much.   That is what i will do then.  I will go see a therapist.    Ive always been "tough" and thought i would never need yo speak with a therapist.  Im kind of a black & white kind of person.  If there are symptoms (i.e. my tongue issues)  than it must be from my exposure.   I tell myself inside, that if i just forget it, my tongue will go back to normal.  

[specialmom]

Yes, you clearly sound like you have anxiety going on.  I was perusing the site and saw this article tonight:  https://www.medhelp.org/healthy-living/articles/Get-Moving--Get-Happy/2369.  Paxiled will probably make fun of me but I loved this article.  For someone in your situation where anxiety and stress rule your day and tongue . . .  simple things like this can help. At least it is a start.  Let us know how you are doing.  

[AnxiousNoMore]

You don't have any medical training so the first step to relaxing is accepting that you can't self diagnose and it is a doctor's job instead.
You are just fixating on one disease (because you have done some Googling and had unrelated sex which you are unfortunately trying to prove is related) out of thousands of diseases that humans can have.
It is time to accept that therapy may be the only way for you to get out of this self-diagnosing rut where you fixate on one disease and the result is your method has caused you much unnecessary misery.

[specialmom]

I totally agree with paxiled here and he's given you good advice.  The truth is, your reaction is telling of your anxiety disorder.  Sure, it's normal to have something make you nervous but once you've found out the facts, taken tests that say negative, been told numerous times you never had a risk, the panic and anxiety is unique to you and is due to the "something inside you" that Paxiled speaks of.  It's your anxiety disorder.  This is the "thing" that you need to shift your focus to.  Just like HIV, anxiety is a disease.  A disease to be treated.  Talk to your doctor about this.  That's a good place to start.  Therapy is known to help.  For your family's sake that you love, get help for your anxiety.  good luck

[Paxiled]

The episode didn't put you in panic mode.  Something inside you did that.  I would start with therapy, and, if that doesn't help you figure out why you're thinking this way and you keep spiraling out of control, your psychologist will refer you to a psychiatrist for possible medication.  

[AnxiousNoMore]

Your HIV thread was closed so you received the advice you can't have HIV. See your doctor and discuss setting up an appointment with a therapist, because you have a mental block about HIV. There is no science behind your belief but you are still sticking with it, so you need a one on one discussion that this forum can't provide.
The first step to peace is to quit Googling cold turkey because you are taking your Googling results and trying to dream up impossible HIV theories.