i have been experiening a similar effect over the past 5+ years. i would not call it a blackout, as i am still, on some level, concious. i have logged these episodes, and gotten in the habit of carrying pen and paper with me wherever i go, trying to write down the time and date, and what is on my mind at the time. i have had many theories as to what connects these episodes, from moon phases, to my menstral cycle, however, nothing seems to fit entirely. it does "normally" occur about once a month, for a few days in a row. i do not have to neccessarily be upset or angry about anything, at times i am just walking down the street, and suddenly i realize i cannot remember where i was going, or why, or how i got to where i noticed, finally, that i stood. i am constantly paranoid that i will do or say something rediculous to someone...i know i have alot of repressed memories and emotions from various things that i have been through in my short life, and i would not be surprised to learn that these are the cause of the episodes. however, the one time i did try to confide my concerns about them to someone i trusted, he called me a liar, and also advised my doctor at the time that i was making this up, and when i did seek advise from my doctor, he brushed me off entirely, so for the last 4 years, i have said nothing to noone of them. i started to believe that since our breakup 4 years ago, i am feeling alot better about life and not under as much stress, but it continues to happen, month after month...i am unable to find any reason or way to stop it, and i worry that one of these times, something terrible is going to happen.
I have "blackouts" similar to this woman. I was told they were blackouts by a therapist. I have had them since grade school. Mostly they occur anytime I am angry or upset.
When I was a teen I argued with my parents as all teens are wont to do. I would say something and my parents would just kind of look at me like they couldn't figure me out. They would be confused because they claimed that I had just said something entirely different just before. This is not days latter. I am unable to recall something that I said MINUTES ago. This is of course very frustrating, because even if I genuinely feel that I am in the right on an issue it is almost impossible to mount an argument when you can't keep track of what you have said.
Once, my husband and I had an argument that lasted into the next day. We went to bed mad, but in the morning I couldn't remember why. It took me about two hours of just sitting there thinking about it for me to remember just the issue. I still can't recall what exactly was said that night. I normally wouldn't have invested the effort, but the one thing that I did remember was that it had been a big issue. When it came back to me I was even more upset that I could have completely forgotten something so important.
What do you do when you can't remember things that matter.
First of all, I am no doctor, but...it certainly sounds like your body and mind are under a lot of stress, which can cause ALL kinds of weird things to happen, like "blackouts". However, I would be hesitant to actually call them blackouts. When these people say you said things, do you remember actually talking/being with them? If so, then it is probably not a blackout. If it were, you wouldn;t even remember being with them at all.
As as far as the question are you going crazy, my general rule of thumb is that if you can think that you are, then you are not. What I mean is that most people who go "crazy" do not know that they are and are not aware of it after the fact. Think about people that are in a sanitarium or something to that effect - as far as they know, usually, they are normal.
So the bottom line is that you have a lot of things to work out, and it sounds like you are trying to...keep at it and do not give up, no matter how hard it seems at times - trust me I know about wanting to give up. The road to recovery in nervous and mental illness is a tough one, but it can be done. Good luck!
Mike