Talking to myself in my head

[Kohlastro]

After my many attempts to making new friends (which I failed) I decided to just walk away from my social life at school. As I felt lonely I started talking to myself in my head constantly, I keep talking to myself except when I'm sleeping. I talk and interact with 'imaginative' guy(s) in my head, we have discussions and gives me advice on problems I have. This has been going on for about 2 years and got to the point where if someone says hi to me it takes me a while to snap out of it to reply, usually ending up with the person walking away. I frequently have arguments with my parents and I struggle with subjects at school, everything I say is out of order and I just feel like walking away from everything... talking to the 'imaginative' guy(s) even gave me advice to suicide. Am I crazy? Am I the only one like this? Any answers would be greatly appreciated.

[Aliboy]

From my own experiences, what I have learned about thinking of suicide is this:   If you are used to excessive fantasizing and you have depression, most likely you will have "suicidal idiations."   This means that the fantasy in your head is to escape the pain and sometimes playing with the idea of suicide helps relieve that pressure.  You tell yourself the lie that it is harmful because it's only in your head but it is a serious matter.  I grew up with suicial idiations because I didn't know anything different.  I now know to tell someone.  And you know what?  You can call the suicide hot line in your area and talk with someone anytime.   You do not even need to be suicidal to call.  It is just telling someone that the word has come into your head.  I did this two times last year and I didn't feel stupid for calling just to let some of the thoughts out of my head.  They were so nice.  I hope these postings help you and I am glad you are reaching out!

[Aliboy]

Socializing in school is so very hard for some of us.  It was extremely painful for me at your age and I was lost in my head most of the time.  Now, I am much older and a Mom but my college age son is going thru the same thing I went through.  It can be so very lonely.  He does talk to me and this is the advice I share:   1). What are you telling yourself?  I catch myself being so nasty to me and I turn it around and say how would you talk to your best friend in this situation?  It's ok to talk to yourself but you must be your own encourager and be patient, compassionate.  2)  Quit making up stories about what you think people think.  Very quickly you can discount lies you are telling yourself if you just ask do I know this for a fact or am I just guessing these people don't like me?  3). When we are lonely it is hard to not be desperate about making a best friend or getting a girlfriend/boyfriend.  Really the best thing is to stop the pretend relationships and just talk to people around you.  Just connect with who is there with no goal in mind at all.  I gain and maintain confidence in who I am even by laughing with someone in the grocery line I will never see again.  But the repeated connections add up if you are patient and then you have friendships.  

[JGF25]

How are you doing?

[Kohlastro]

Thanks for the advice, schizophrenic? Wow never knew it's this serious... I'll see if I can talk to a physiologist if only my parents would let me

[JustHelp123]

Kohlastro, I hope that the comment didn't alarm you.  There are definitely similarities between multiple mental disorders and illnesses, including ADHD as one other person mentioned...  I have bipolar and would hear things, sort of an inner dialogue that didn't feel like myself.  When I had high anxiety it was very present.  I spoke about it with my psychologist and psychiatrist when I was in college (age 27) and they reassured me it was not indicative of anything more serious (in my case...)  I had a schizophrenic uncle, so the possibility was there genetically.  There are many elements to the "schitzophrenic spectrum".  This is theorized to include things like borderline personality disorder.  All in all- it is a professional's job to make the distinction between what is normal and what may be something requiring some attention.  This link may help you to get an idea of what they are looking for: http://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/guide/schizophrenia-types .  Be sure to not self-diagnose.  It can be very dangerous and misguided- Believe me- I know.  I hope it works out for you Kohlastro.  If you seek help, which I hope, there may be light on the other side of the tunnel sooner than you think.  Will be thinking of you and hoping for the best.  I remember being your age like yesterday, now 30 years old.  It is funny because you keep the same mind and don't forget those feelings, but have ways to move past it as your 'toolbox' becomes larger.  Being honest is a powerful thing, and I commend you for starting the process here.  Things got better with time and treatment.  The age you are going through can have particularly rough moments, but don't believe this will be the only state of your existance.  Best wishes- Brett

[Kohlastro]

Thanks for the advice, those are some terms I never heard about, I'll do some research. Maladaptive Daydreaming and ADHD might be it.

[Kohlastro]

Thanks for the advice, I could try talking to my parents but my parents don't really take anything I say seriously, I'll have a serious talk with them.

[JustHelp123]

I would say this is not typical, but does not make you 'crazy'.  You may be somewhere on the schizophrenic spectrum.  I would seek help as soon as possible.  Sometimes we look too much at the origins of why we think something is happening and that overshadows what is actually happening.  We should not be hearing voices independent from our own, particularly ones that encourage suicide.

Please see a psychologist as soon as possible.  They will help determine if what you are experiencing is normal...  I am thinking they might say it isn't, but likely can help you heal your mind.  I hope the best for you, and feel free to PM me. - Brett

[JGF25]

Hi there.  How old are you?  So here are my thoughts.  First have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD or ADD?  You struggle in school, everything is out of order, etc.  People with ADHD are often socially awkward.  My son has ADHD and he is a bit awkward, struggles in school, can't finish tasks, etc.  You should post on the ADHD forum and see what Sandman has to say about your situation.  Second, there is something called maladaptive daydreaming.  Google it and see if it fits you.  I have OCD and undiagnosed ADHD (I believe) and I have conversations with myself all the time.  If I have a meeting with someone I'm going through the entire conversation in my mind.  I told the therapist once that I don't have a quiet mind.  There is an ever ongoing dialog going on in there.  There is helps available for you in the form of a psychologist.  

[YardBull]

Talk to one or both of your parents and request that you visit with a professional counselor.  With a counselor, you could talk these things out and get advice on your personal situation.  You might be amazed at how much improvement you could make.  If a counselor is not possible, try to talk with a parent or someone else in your family that you respect, a school counselor, a respected teacher,  or a religious leader, if you have one.