Thanatophobia (fear of death) taking over my life

[Zach3100]

Ok this might be a little lengthy, so bear with me.

I have recently developed thanatophobia. A fear of death. Fear of what might happen to me, fear of how I will die, fear of when I'll die, fear of if theres life after death or not. Basically to sum it up: fear of not knowing the answers to those.

I'm only 16, I shouldn't be having these thoughts, I know. But they just cant get past me and its getting worse. Its like I'm obsessed with death. Everytime I look at someone I think "yep they'll be dead one day" and everytime I do anything I think to myself "why am I doing this it won't matter after I'm dead" and then death itself comes into play. Everytime I do any activity, I panic on the inside because ANYTHING can kill you. Everytime I'm outside exercising I think "wow my heart is working pretty hard right now, what if it stops?" Or every time I eat I think "I could choke right now and die" and everytime I drive or ride in a car I think "I might get into an accident and die" and there's countless more thoughts that I don't even have time to write but basically, every little activity has its risks and I always tend to look at the worst case scenario.

Next is just fear of there not being an afterlife. That we just don't exist after dying. I've been a catholic my whole life. I pray, go to church and read the Bible every day and I believe in an afterlife. But ever since this fear has come, a sliver of me keeps thinking "but what if there isnt."

Now, I know a lot of you dont believe in God or religion or heaven and I respect that. I'm not trying to get into an argument so please, keep your opinions to yourself. There is no proof that God doesnt exist and guess what? There isnt proof that he does exist either. There's no inbetween.

I have had a visitation dream of my dear teacher and friend of mine who took her life 2 years ago. It was all bright and white and she was admiring a necklace she gave me as a gift only a couple months before she died.

Now whenever I think of that dream my mind just goes "She never visited you, it was all in your head."

I also used to pray about really tough situations, and even fast and all of my prayers are answered. But now whenever I think of that my mind just says "that's just luck I guess."

This thought is ruining my mind and even as I'm typing this I'm thinking "why am I doing this, I'll never know these answers." And I know that.

I just want to know how to get over this irrational fear and to stop thinking about death. It's unhealthy for my mind and my general wellbeing.

If anyone has and words of advice they would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

[AnxiousNoMore]

Is there a school counselor you can talk to? Perhaps they will refer you to a psychologist as well.

[Zach3100]

There's no school counselor really and Id rather not see a phsychiatrist unless I really, really need to. My neurologist gave me anxiety medication, prozac though. I havent used it yet though because the side effects are heart palpitations and that wouldnt really make my problems any better..

[AnxiousNoMore]

You are way better off dealing with a psychiatrist or some kind of therapist than using a med. Meds are supposed to be for last resort, and don't rewire your brain to fix issues although they might give you a break so you can get thinking in a way that you want to.
A therapist will help you see things in a different light and allow you a chance ot resolve the problem.
Age 16 is way too young to start meds without giving therapy a shot.