Toilet Anxiety

[Leeroy3731]

I really really need some help please. I am a 34 year old man suffering from a terrible phobia of not being able to get to a toilet. I am worried that i am going to soil myself. When i am able to use the toilet i dont need to but when i am in a situation where i cant get to a toilet i become desperate and have a major panic attack. It physically feels like i am going to mess myself. This has been going on for 20 years now and i have seen child doctors and hypnotherapists. I recently went to the doctors who informed me that i should go privately as the NHS probably wont have the resources to help me. This is really taking over my life now and will do anything to have a "normal life" without worrying if i have been to the toilet enough and if i am now "empty."
Any advice would be greatfully appreciated.

Many thanks.

[AnnieBrooke]

There are also Depends (disposable adult diapers).  It's not necessary to go around one's whole life in them, however, if one can see a therapist and take care of the anxiety.

[RubyWitch]

The name pretty much says it all.

[bjfoste1]

a butt plug?

[mammo]

Do something to fulfill your dream of becoming a pilot, it's wonderful.  My husband is a pilot and we are airport bums, flying all weekend.  If you get a 4 place, you could hang a curtain and put in a little camping potty.  I doubt you'd need it but it will help with your anxiety.  Just make sure whomever is in the right seat can handle the plane, which is easier than driving a car.  I hope you get help so you can realize this dream.  Take care!

[29sillygirl]

Can't add anything to greenlydia's last post.  

[RubyWitch]

Have you ever actually defecated in public?
Butt plug....................bad idea
Psychiatrist................good idea

[Leeroy3731]

Yes thats right. I have the urge and anxiety that i will defecate when i cannot get to a toilet for instance if i am on a ride at an amusement park or if i am in a car with someone else driving. I would love to fulfill my dream to become a pilot but am unable to do this as i am unable to train in a two seater plane as there is no toilet. I have even thought about purchasing a "but plug" to block my back passage as an answer to this problem. Any other ideas????

[29sillygirl]

Ok.  Let me make sure I understand your situation.  When you are out and far from a bathroom, you 1)feel high anxiety, and 2) a sudden urge to defecate.  Am I right?

You have had this fear for 20 yrs?  Altho' you have both the fear and the urge, you have never had an accident?

This is a miserable way to live.  I know, as an anal cancer survivor and someone who has struggled with anxiety and panic attacks, what the reality is. Your worst fears are my every day companions. I've learned to face the fear and get out. I won't let my condition keep me locked in my apt.  

I'm only sharing my story as I have had close calls and accidents.  Can usually cover until I get home.  So I am living proof that the worst case scenario won't kill you!  LOL.

Best luck.  Hope you can find a medication that will help.  Therapy is always a good idea.

[AnnieBrooke]

Phobias come on as a way of dealing with more general anxiety -- believe it or not, it is easier to be fearful of a phobic thing than to be generally fearful, no matter how inconvenient the phobia is.  When you get to a counselor, see about getting a prescription to an anti-anxiety medicine like Zoloft or Paxil.  It could be the simple thing that makes 100% difference.  Good luck.

[RubyWitch]

If you do not have a medical condition to substantiate this fear, you absolutely need to get into therapy. That you have endured this for 20 years is remarkable, to say the least.
Being in the UK, you are, no doubt, going to have to get on a waiting list. Get your name on one ASAP. You've suffered long enough.
I wish you the very best
Peace
Greenlydia