Trouble getting help

[Sugalite]

I have some sort of anxiety disorder. I'm not sure exactly what. My behavior tends to be somewhat contradictory, compulsively making lists and organizing some files on my computer, but am also very cluttered and sloppy at times. Very shy if I have to start a conversation with new people, but very gragarious afterwards. I procrastinate horribly, but one I start I can get tunnel vision. I get fixated on things, thoughts and activities until it's 3AM. Super worried about personal failings, but I've been in a couple serious accidents and that does not bother me. Trying to get help is rather difficult. First issue is my financial situation. It's enough to pay for insurance, but not enough to pay for sessions until the deductible is met. The second issue is when I have talked to the person at my clinic to get a referral and to the intake person at one if the places I ended up not being able to afford, I get so nervous, I have a hard time articulating my issues and I fall into the habit of glossing over some of the more odd and difficult to explan behavior, which out of habit I usually hide. Thoughts, ideas or help would be appreciated.

[Paxiled]

It really doesn't matter what a referral would say, you will talk to the therapist in detail.  I'm not sure you really have anything wrong with you, this doesn't sound like your life is being seriously disrupted, it might just be who you are, but again, once you get a therapist you will talk it out over several sessions so don't worry about that part of it.