Hi! I've been doing great with my anxiety. I really have, but I received some not so great news 3 days ago and now I feel like I am having trouble breathing...like anxiety, heaviness, sadness, desperation, and numbness is all around me. I am 40 and trying to have a baby. This will be my first. Got pregnant naturally, easily @ 38 without trying, but miscarried. Went through depression, and had a difficult time both phsically and emotionally bouncing back. This is when my anxiety began. I also had gallbladder surgery. So, here we are a year and a half since I miscarried and I feel fantastic in everyway possible!!! I went to see my reproductive endocrinologist to get some lab work done. My egg reserve is low. My fsh is @ 16.7. This puts me in the severe catagory. Not good. Here are my options: 1) OI/IUI - 5% chance of working @$500-$1000 2) IVF w own eggs - 15-20% chance @ $10,00-$12,000 3) IVF w donor eggs - 75% chance @ $15,000-$20,000 4) FET/Frozen Embryo Transfer w donor embryo - 50-70% chance @ $4,000-$5,000. I AM DEVASTATED AND SHOCKED!!! I am going with option 1 as plan A. Then, option 4...even though it makes me so sad that my baby will not have my/our genetics. We don't have much $ so option 2 and 3 are out of the question. Since receiving this news, I have been feeling nauseous, weekness, fogginess, sadness, basically anxiety. I feel like "running away". I want to hide. I REALLY want to turn this mood around b/c I REALLY need to BELIEVE that this will happen for us. I do not want to spend another day feeling like this. I know I have all the tools to get back on track. I guess I am so SCARED that I won't be a mother. I am a nanny by profession and absoulutely love children. I don't know why it took me so long to get that "yearning" feeling to have children of my own. I feel like kicing myself. Can anyone offer any words of support? I just woke up and I want from this day forward to be GREAT!!! I feel in my bones that my baby is waiting for me!!! I don't know how I am going to get there, but I WILL. I HAVE TO!!! I see signs EVERYWHERE!!! Please...can anyone relate??? Please help...