Wanna know if anyone feels like I do from anxiety

[Clouser]

Okay, where to start. I'm new to this site. Wanna see if anyone can relate to me on how anxiety or whatever it is that makes me feel the way I do. So anyways,  I've been suffering from anxiety or feeling this way for about a year now. Been in and out of my doctors how many times. Got blood work done and my doctor says I'm fine and healthy that everything I feel is all anxiety. Been seeing a therapist for the past few months as well and he says it's all anxiety. Just hard to understand how anxiety makes me feel the way I do. It's like I'm stuck in my own mind of worry. I might not be worrying bout anything, but I still feel worried for no reason and my mind is all over the place. It's like the hardest thing to explain or to describe. When I go to sleep, I don't sleep all that well, or get that deep sleep. Ill wake up in the morning and right when I wake up, my mind is at that worried state like how it was the day befor. Like my mind had no break from worrying or thinking. I do have good days. But even when I have good days, I still just feel off. Like last week I felt pretty good and don't really remember my mind being all over the place or really felt worried inside. But Sunday came around, and I started to feel it coming on, like felt rlly tired, felt panicky, felt like I couldn't focus on right there and now or on anything. And here it is Tuesday and just feel so worn out and just don't feel right.  I try to pay attention to tv, or talking to someone but my mind is completely on how I'm feeling. Like impending doom. And then another thing is even tho I know I'm here, I don't feel like it. Just all this stuff to me is the hardest thing to describe! It *****. Hate how my head feels wired. Feel like my hands get hot, I feel like my head is hot. But it's not. It's like the only thing that's on my mind is how I feel all the time, Mentally. It's like fear of fear for no reason. Always worrying bout passing out, having a seizure, dying, and tons of other things. And I don't know why! It's so hard to go out and do things. Even to leave the house. I do leave the house for work but other then that, I don't rlly hang out with friends and do things. It's like when I start feeling really bad, I get in a blah mood where I feel like I have no emotions and no energy to do anything. When talking gets hard. It's like I'm wasting my life being like this. My doc wanted me to takes meds but I'm against meds. Did try Prozac for a week, ended up going to the hospital cus I felt weird from it and it freaked me out. Then jus about 3 weeks ago, I tried celexa and only lasted for 2 days on that cus I felt weird from that. Prolly cus I worry bout side effects and I worry bout what if I get one of the bad side effects. Guess I'm just trying to really understand if anxiety can really make you feel the way I do and keep my mind always in a worried state and feel not here sometimes.  

[rose042789]

I really do believe that the longer we go just moping around, the worse it gets. If we push to stay active in some way, especially like reading or meditating, I do think it would help. I know its easier said than done cuz that's how I feel too. But after all the reading ive been doing, im learning the importance of staying active and productive, so that your mind is occupied. When your at home doing nothing, your mind just gets forced in to thinking of all the anxiety. I think staying active, in any way you can, will just slowly help. Right before I came online to respond to you, I spent an hour with my best friend in the car just talking and letting everything out. I do feel a little better and more motivated to be strong and move forward. Its so much easier to give in to the anxiety than fighting our way out of it, but we have to! Lets make sure to go back to living happy and worry free. Positivity is definitely key. Also, surround yourself with people who make u feel better.

[Clouser]

Hey guys. Yeah, it's def nice to have came across this site and read other people's post on how they feel and seeing how alot of people can relate to eachother with anxiety/depression. To me, it does help me to talk to other people by what I feel like and have them say they can relate to the same things on what I'm feeling. With my anxiety, it's nothing to how it use to make me feel. I still have a pretty active mine where it doesn't shut off and it just thinks and thinks and thinks with the same stuff over and over. Sometimes ill get a bad period of anxiety where it last for afew days where I'm tensed and just can't calm down. But now I think I'm mostly suffering from some kind of depression cus I guess after months and months of having really has anxiety where I thought I was dying 24/7, it prolly messed my head up with all the worrying cus now, it's just a stuck worry in myself. Even when I'm not worrying bout anything. And stuff I do to have fun when I talk to people and laff, something just is missing where I don't feel like how I use to befor everything started with anxiety. So maybe remar is right about me having depressing  I told my therapist but it and he said its possible I do suffer it since anxiety and depression go hand to hand. It's jus something messing in my head. Like the feeling part to make me feel good and enjoy everything I do. But I just rlly wanna be able to fight this all without the help of meds and hopefully therapy will get my mindset fixed and thinking nothing but happy thoughts! And to forget all the worrying I've ever down threw my whole life and def past this last year! I can say I do feel bad for everyone that does have to suffer and go threw anxiety or depression disorders cus it's rlly I think the hardest thing to have to live with day in day out and it's like you look back to all the time you waste on life feeling this way.

[darrling]

Sounds like anxiety to me, too!  I have had just about every symptom in the past 4 months after a hospital stay which turned me into a "google" searching mess.  I now have weak leg and arm muscles which I worry is something else.  Dr says I am as healthy as it gets and in perfect health after having testing done.  Anxiety can do terrible things to your body.  Trying to start back into exercising to see if that will help at all.  Glad to have found this website so I can relate to others feeling the same way.....

[rose042789]

Btw, I forgot to mention that I think you should slowly start getting back to working out. I think the more and more we start to put off the things we used to do, the more and more dreadful and scarier they become. Its all in our head. If we just get ourselves used to doing everything like before it will become natural to us, the way it was before. When I talk to my friends or fam about this, they just say "DONT THINK ABOUT IT, ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD" and I wanna punch them in the face when they say that lol. Its sooo much easier said than done. Its not like im purposely being negative or anxious!! But I think with time we can simply re-train ourselves to go back to "normal". Were not crazy, everyone gets like this sometimes. Its just the fear is bigger than the actual symptoms. Ive been reading/googling/youtubing everything anxiety related for hours now. And Ive come to the conclusion we have to be strong and just keep moving forward.

[rose042789]

Hi there..im new to this site and this is my first post/response. Its crazy how after reading all these comments I feel like the words are taken right out of my mouth, especially your first post. I just had my first panic attack 3 weeks ago and have not been the same since. It happened out of nowhere while I was driving to a wedding. I kept feeling shortness of breath and irregular breathing. I pulled over to calm down but since I was scared, it only got worse. My whole body went numb and tingly, my hands locked up, and I felt heaviness in my chest and stomach. I called 911 and after sitting in the E.R. room for hours (no tests or medication was given) they just told me I had a panic attack. What I related to in your post is that I also did not suffer anything major before this. I was perfectly fine. I loved going out with my friends, shopping, working out..etc. But ever since that day Im scared to drive and dread going out. All I wanna do is lay around at home. Ive had a few smaller attacks, especially in the car, where I feel a nervous feeling and suddenly my breathing gets out of control. I have a doctor apt next week just to get checked out and have general blood work done just to be safe. But I cant seem to shake this nervous/anxious feeling. I was never a depressed or anxious or negative person. EVER! But suddenly I cant get rid of these crazy thoughts in my head! Even though I haven't been diagnosed with anything, Im just hoping this funk Im in is from being hospitalized and that Im still recovering. I refuse to be this way forever! Its only been 3 weeks and its like I FORGOT HOW TO LIVE or something??!! It makes me so scared, angry, and sad that is happening to me and to everyone else on here. It just doesn't make sense.

[Clouser]

Hey, thanks for your reply greenlydia. I never did hear about That WW2 but that it pretty crazy how powerful your mind can really be. I guess if you think about it, it really is powerful in all different ways. Just my way is believing that it can't all be anxiety/depressing making me feel this way. With the whole therapy thing, I think it has worked somewhat because before I started it, I was really bad. Having panic attacks every single day. Taking off work. Not talking to anyone, not leaving the house. If I did leave the house, I was panicing even worse. Have hot and could flashes, sweating none stop or freezing. Always felt sick. My pulse was up over 100 all the time cus I couldn't relex. Couldn't eat or even sleep. All that stuff I don't really get anymore. Now I prolly will since I just thought bout it. Lol. But since therapy, I've been more relaxed, my pulse doesn't go high like it did. Been able to eat again and not calling off work. Just I get periods of anxiety or deresion that last for afew days that r pretty ruff for me and I start worrying. But days that I'm good and fine, just in my mind I still feel off most of the time but I don't feel anxious or anything. I know meds would prolly be the best thing for me but it's like I know all the bad side affects from them all and there stuck in my head so getting me past that is almost importable since I tried twice. I always said to my doctor, how do people with anxiety that worry so much about everything manage to take stuff like that! I do trust my doctor. He did tons of blood work on me and reinsured me that I'm healthy as can be that's its all anxiety. And when I do go and see him, he'll even sit there for 30 mins or so and talk to me about it and he said he feels bad that he can't really help me since I won't try and stay on meds and he says knows it will help me feel better. I asked him to put me in a place to start me on meds so I had someone watching me on the meds tell they started working but no one would take me cus I'm not suicidal. Lol gotta laff at that cus kinda stupid for me to ask to go somewhere just to make sure ill be okay taking these meds. That's how scared I am about meds and side effects from them! I never was suicidal or ever thought a out hurting myself or anything wierd like that. But I do think it really did come from my buddy having a stoke that got me all worried about health and now everything I feel with me, I get worried about. It's just so weird cus even tho I'm sure it's all anxiety or depression and I believe when people tell me if is, I'm just always second guessing it. I gotta find a way to get my mind set changed. And another thing is control. I guess when I'm tired or my body feels weird, I feel like I should have control to how I feel inside and out but I don't and I guess that's normal but to me it's not and I should have control over everything to how I feel 100% of the time. It does help me out alot when I talk about everything that I feel and think about.  Like I told my therapist, if I have to go to him every day of my life, I would. So hopefully by the help from everyone on this site, and starting to go see my therapist once a week, it'll really get me feeling back to my old self.

[RubyWitch]

As you know, we are not doctors and therefore cannot diagnose you, but I have to agree with remar that in my opinion, you are suffering with some pretty extreme anxiety and depression.

I also agree that your friends stroke could very well have been the catalyst for virtually all of this. For someone as young as your friend to suffer a stroke is extremely unusual and therefore all the more frightening. When we think of stroke victims, we usually associate it with the elderly..........not our 26 year old friends.

Every single symptom you've mentioned can be attributed to anxiety and depression. It's almost unbelievable that anxiety/depression can actually cause us to feel all these things, but you first have to grasp the fact that our minds are unbelievably powerful.

There are many, many examples out there about what the human mind can do, but the one that comes first to mind is something they discovered during WW II. This story has been told many times, and maybe you've heard it, or maybe you've heard that it came to be known as "The Placebo Effect."  
At an Army field hospital, they were receiving so many horribly wounded men they just couldn't get enough surgical medications delivered. One day they ran out of morphine, which at that time was the only pain medication they had. Limbs needed to be amputated, as well as so many other kinds of surgery. One doctor said he had read that if you told someone they were getting a new and VERY, VERY powerful pain medication and you did everything you could to convince him of that, they would believe it so strongly and wholeheartedly, they would not feel any pain. The doctors decided they had no choice but to try it. All these men would die if they didn't try something.............so they took some sugar pills and began to give them to these horribly wounded men and told them they had to be really careful not to give them too much because it was such strong and powerful pain medication............can you guess what happened? The doctors amputated limbs and performed other surgeries and every single man said he felt absolutely no pain! Their MINDS convinced them these pills worked. THAT is just one example of what our minds can do. And that was something positive. Our minds can be just as powerful when what it's being told is negative.

Anxiety and depression tell our minds negative things. A bad, "reverse" Placebo Effect.................

I see you've been seeing a therapist for the past few months but from the sound of this post, aside from telling you you've got anxiety, he doesn't seem to be helping you very much. You still seem to be in a real crisis stage and after a few months of therapy, you should at least be calmer and have a better understanding of your symptoms. I am by no means saying you should be all better, just not as scattered as you obviously are.

I also see you've had some issues with medications and have stated that "I'm against meds."
Sometimes, Clouser, even if we don't like something or don't want to do something, if it's in our best interest, we do it anyway. I think with your current frame of mind, taking medication would definitely be in your best interest. I know you tried and you should be proud of yourself for making that huge of an effort. But I agree with remar that you may have done better being started out on something besides Prozac. (Not that there is anything wrong with Prozac!)

Besides some possible unpleasant side effects, many antidepressants, which will also help with anxiety, can take as long anywhere from 2-8 weeks to reach therapeutic levels.......levels where you actually begin to feel a little better. With your anxiety level already buried in the red, you should have, in my opinion, been given a fast acting benzo (anti-anxiety medication) immediately to get you calmed down. Xanax and Ativan are two fast acting benzos that would help in the short term. You say you do have Xanax but don't take it because you worry about the side effects. The worst side effect of these meds used short term is being tired, maybe a few days of feeling a little goofy or lightheaded, but those are really nothing to fear. They DO go away. The point is they would stop your anxiety in it's tracks and get your mind to stop this out of control whirlwind cycle you're in.

Here's my humble and non-medical advice. Make an appointment with a good psychiatrist to get a very accurate diagnosis of what you're dealing with. GP's in my opinion are simply not qualified to diagnose these types of issues. The psychiatrist will then determine which medication(s) you should be on. They are FAR better at prescribing psychotropic meds than your GP. He or she will then recommend a therapist for you and they are pretty good at matching you up with just the right person. Like I said, after several months, your current therapist doesn't get very high marks from me.  You need somebody who is really going to get down to work and also one who knows about psychotropic meds who will be able to help you get through the starting stages and stick with them until they really begin to work. From what you've said, it sounds like the minute a side effect pops up, you stop taking it. I think you just need to be reassured by someone who knows that whatever you're feeling is normal for that particular med, that it won't hurt or harm you, that it will go away and that you just gotta tough it out. And for your peace of mind, they will also know when the side effects are NOT OK and you should try a different med.

I really feel for you, I understand and I know what you're feeling and how scared you are. I've been there. All of us here have been there. And most of here ARE better or ALMOST better or WORKING ON getting better, or FEELING a little better or a LOT better..........the point is WORKING ON IT.   DOING SOMETHING.
Reach out for more help than you're getting right now. It's not working.
Open your mind to the meds. They don't have to be FOREVER. Someone with a broken leg isn't in a cast forever. Your heads a little broke right now.......that's not forever either.
See a psychiatrist for the correct diagnosis and medications.
Keep writing to us............we're always here
I wish you SO much good and peace
Greenlydia    

[Clouser]

Thanks guys. I know I prolly should take meds but I wanna try everything that's possible to not have to rely on meds. It does seem likes it's a vicious circl with this. It's like I pretty much trained myself to only think this way. Like all there is to think about is worry. There has to be a way to get my mind from nagitive thinking. It's jus hard to find a way to change my mind set. Even when people talk to me, or I watch tv, I'm paying attention to them, but inside I'm always paying attention to my worries and how I feel. I don't know if I rather have anxiety or something really wrong with me.

[AsGoodAsItGets]

I've struggled with anxiety and panic attacks on and off for many years. Combination of Klonopin and Valium with an anti-depressant like Effexor worked really well for me. The worst thing about anxiety for me is anticipatory anxiety. I get anxious about becoming anxious. A very vicious circle. After many years of med use, I recently spent a year in cognitive therapy and the difference amazing. I suggest you look into it. Good luck!!

[kaybee1167]

I hate to say this but I was kinda like that and I got put on prisq and klonopin and it really mellows you out.  you need to give your xanax a chance.  Really, it will mellow you out.  If therapy isn't working what else can you do but take medication.  It's not a bad thing as long as you take it like your suppose too.  

[Clouser]

I wanna thank you for taking your time to talk to me about anxiety and trying to reinsure me that I'm fine and it's all anxiety and nothing bad will happen to me

[Clouser]

Yeah it's just ***** being stuck in this rut with all worries for no reason and can't get my mind off to how I physically feel. Oh I would love to get back into lifting again. I do think bout it every day but it's so hard to force myself to go back from how I feel. Like since Sunday I've been stuck in this rut of feeling tired and out of it. Like just a blah feeling. Don't wanna leave the house. Today I've felt better then the last few days but still feel off mentally and no energy. I do go to therapy. Was going once every 2 weeks but then I told him I wanna start going every week so now he has me starting to see him once a week. I do notice when I go see him and talk to him I feel better. Sometimes ill feel good for a day or 2. Sometimes a week will go by and I feel great. But by saying I feel great, I'm still feeling off in my mind. Then I notice when my anxiety of whatever it is, I notice I always hear this doll ringing sound in my left ear. It's just seems like there is so many differnt things I feel wrong with me that it confuses me. Even with my vision, it feels off alot. Like cant focus on anything with my eyes or they feel blurry or something. And another thing that freaks me out, sometimes when I sleep, I wake up sweaty. It's not all the time but when it happens, it kinda freaks me out so I worry bout that. I jus turnt 26 and I shouldnt be this way. I love my my job that I do. I'm a metal roofer. I guess everything comes down to, I'm always worrying there is something wrong with my health or my mind. Like, I'm scared of losing myself. Like being one of them crazy people that see things or hear things. Lol. That rlly freaks me out thinking bout that stuff. It's like I'm waiting for something to happen to me. And with thoughts, just always random thoughts pop up in my head. Nothing like out of place but bout passing out, dying, seizures. Stupid things like that. I have no history of anything like that and I should know after suffering this long from anxiety, none of that stuff is going to happen to me since it never did. And anxiety/depression runs threw my family. Almost all my uncles and aunts had it and r on meds. I remember I use to always say bout afew of them that it's all in there head and there lazy and need to get up and go do things. No here I am. Lol

[remar]

I understand how you feel. I remember when I first started getting panic attacks. I had no idea what was going on. When I was finally diagnosed a few years later I could not except the diagnosis. I have so many tests done and everything kept coming back normal. Once I did except it and started therapy and meds I did so much better.
Yes, maybe what happened to your friend brought on your anxiety. And, once you have a panic attack you are so scared of having another one that you can actually bring one on. It's a vicious cycle.
If you don't want to take any meds have you thought about therapy? I think it may really help you.
Yes, I understand. The psychical symptoms are awful. It really is hard to believe that anxiety and depression can be the cause of all those aches and pains. It can though.
It would be great if you could get back in to working out. It can really help with stress.

[Clouser]

Thanks for the replay remar. It's just so weird how anxiety or even if i do have depressing can make you feel the way I do. Like the physical symptoms is what really gets me and puts the worrys more in my mind. I want to really try to do without meds cus since the side affects that could happen while being on them or getting off of them are stuck in my head, it's like impossible for me to try then again. I do have Xanax 0.5 mg but I only take half a pill maybe once a week or so or if I feel really bad but I never take it 2 days in a row cus I again think of side affects. And I swear when this anxiety all happend, it all started right after I had this major panic attack last August out of know where while I was with a buddy. It was the worst one I ever had. Maybe it was stress that caused it up to that point even tho I don't remember thinking of anything nagitive. I mean, the buddyy I was with had a stroke and a brain anurism 3 months back after a night of us drinking. Maybe that was the trigger for all this with me cus know I'm scared to do anything or I worry about what could happen. I don't drink anymore or anything. It's like I'm always worried inside all the bad and nagitive things that could happen. And like even tho I've been told by my doctor and therapist that I'm healthy and nothing is wrong with me, it's like I'm not convenced and still need or wanna make sure I'm not dying from something or something making me feel this way. Befor that all happen to my buddy, I use to lift all the time, took pre work outs and everything. Now I don't lift anymore cus I can't get motivated to lift. I wanna get back into it but I liked to take pre work out stuff but I'm to scared to take it anymore. Then the whole making my body sore from lifting will freak me out. It's just all this is very confusing and I wish and hope some how, in time ill get back to myself and enjoy things once again and not have this nagitive worry feeling inside of me all the time.

[remar]

Hi, and welcome to Medhelp. I think you'll find this to be a great site.
It sounds to me like you not only have anxiety but depression going on too. Of course I'm not a Dr and can not diagnose you.
I'm glad to hear you're in therapy. I do have to wonder why your Dr started you off on Prozac. It does help many people but it's not always the first choice for Drs.to try. Almost all of the antidepressants can cause side effects the first few days. Nausea, feeling strange, headaches. You really need to give them a chance though if you can tolerate the side effects for a few days.I would recommend starting on a low dose and working your way up if you feel like you're sensitive to them.
I hope you continue to keep posting here because this site is great and the members are so wonderful and caring.