Reassure me please real quick.

[cfstorey]

I left my journal in the truck, so i will journal here since i was told to write down everything i am feeling. Im a bit nervous right now. Working into anxiety, not quite panic i dont think. I hope not anyway. I had my first appointment with the psychiatrist yesterday and she gave me advice to follow and changed my medications. Today's been the first day i havent fallen apart -  and i hope its due to the medication changes. Its like i've been on the brink of crying and shaking and falling apart - but it just wont happen. Today i have to go back and see the "head doctor" over all the psychiatrist including the one i see. I dont know what he wants. I dont know what to expect. I dont want him to change the medication. I dont want him to think i'm kidding - since i'm not crying and shaking today like i was yesterday. Im really getting pretty worked up over this. Why does he need to see me? Gah, i really don't want him to think i'm fine and tell me its all in my head and send me on my way. Blasted anxiety..

[MrGreen]

Auch you'll be just fine lass. Worry yourself not. I have seen many a head doctor and it always annoyed me when they asked the same bloody questions over and over. As if they were making you start from the begining again. It got to the point were I did say I had said all this so many times, to just look it up in my file. This was a public clinic. They used to change shrinks every month. I finally had enough of them. Let them know what I thought of them and never went back. Got myself a councilor instead. A person I could trust. A person I could say anything to. That is when things began to pick up. It is making that connection. Knowing you can trust them. No matter what you say. You are doing just fine going to theraphy. It is a step in the right direction. But take a long hard look at the issues that trouble you most. They are the ones you need to bring up. As painful as it might be. They have to be dealt with. In order to make things better. But keep up the good work.

[cfstorey]

uuuggghhhh.... stresssssss.. breath in, breath out. breath in, breath. Talking about this in front of men just isnt easy. I mean my dad and step dad are one thing, but other strange men - they'll just look at me like "its a break up - get over it". i have no clue why i think he's going to think i'm making it all up. When i dont cry or shake, i have to wonder if i did make it all up myself. Which i know i'm not. Im so easily guided, i like what my psychiatrist had to say yesterday, she was hopeful and reassuring. breah in.. breath out... breath in .. breath out...

[MMahon]

Tell him exactly what you tell us here!  He's there to help you not hurt you.
You are always free to decide whether you want to follow his advice or not.
It sounds like you are a bit better, the medication starting to help.  
Unless you are 'fine' He won't think you are...so put those thought away.
Look at every visit as a potentially beneficial one and come away from them better off for them even if you don't like what you hear.
let us know what happens....breathe, relax, everything will be fine!!