Avatar universal

What is the issue with me?Anxiety? depression? OCD?

Male - 38
Family with 1 kid
No financial issues

I moved from UK to another country , i am well rounded professional with 20 years exp in maintenance field.
I recently have been given a setup role in the company - but for 5-6 years have been resisting this i like to be the play maker rather than the leader

Now everyday especially in morning i am getting random thoughts and i am thinking about even each and every simple problem in the company and thinking ill get fired or lose my job , although i have handled and
can handle any difficult situation i have this negativity constantly sometimes not wanting to work at all and
also my mom and dad are in another country alone and not keeping well and this is also playing in my mind

Earlier i dont use to be like this and i was leading from front and can face anyone now i have become shy or
closed and dont want to grow up the ladder rather be comfortable in the lower position doing hands on work

Am i suffering from some kind of disorder ?
4 Responses
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Avatar universal
To Paxiled
It's not my problem. I wanted to help checkchecknow. Not you for as far as I know, you are not the one in trouble here. Or... ?
Helpful - 0
Didn't say it was your problem.  You posted material that is factually incorrect, and that doesn't help the person posting, it supplies more things to worry the person.  It's factually incorrect the person you quoted isn't a supervisor, he is and is apparently handling the job quite well, and it's factually incorrect that older employees are worse at communication and less able to solve problems.  That's an individual thing.  So my response was just to help the person posting not have further worries by taking these considerations out of the picture if I've been persuasive, which isn't for me to decide.  But do know, most people who use this website don't participate, but they do look at what we post, and further, we all do have common concerns as we're all human, are we not?  Peace.
Hi paxiled many thanks for reassurance , to update i manage to overcome the intial anexity and well settled now in the step up role and in fact the people who trusted me are showing confidence and also assurance in the way i am leading the team , one thing to note and realize here is staying away from the issue or thinking again and again about the issue is not going to resolve anything rather jump into it lead and steer - at the end of the day people are looking only for that - issues will remain but u need to own
Avatar universal
I can't say if you are suffering from some kind of disorder. And I believe that nobody can answer this question now.
But let me ask you some queestions. You are 38 and 20 years in maintenance. So you started at 18 (about). What is your education in the technical field?
With whom do you you have to work in the setup? Are they higher educated then you are? (don't mind any faulures in you language: I am Dutch).
A setup is not maintenance, there is more, far more too it. Amongst it: leadership.
I know a highly and very experienced engineer, suffering from ASD. He is responsible for safety in plants all over the world. Always he tells those people over there: I am not a leader, I am a technician and my task is to take care of safety. I can tell your people how arrange safety but I am not their boss. Anyone else has to take car of that.
I know people with may skills, suited for their jobs, but other people otherwise educated have different skills and they make them (the first mentioned people) unsecure. An example: a about 50 years old lady is a townbuilder (planoloog). She has to work with youngsters educated in the same school bu in a newer way. That means more working in groups, more doing it groupwise. Those youngster are stars in using Powerpoint and talking in the right words. They blow the older lady away.
Does anything looks familiar to you? Think it over and let me know.
Helpful - 0
First of all, if your engineer friend is responsible for safety, he is the leader.  That's what responsible means.  If he has the power to tell others what they have to do to make something work correctly, they are the technicians and he is the supervisor.  Doesn't mean he also has someone above him, that's how organizations work, there is almost always someone higher up until you get to the top, where you usually find someone who is more of a rainmaker than a worker at that point.  Your 2d example assumes having computer know how equals knowing how to make things work.  I'm also going to guess that the older woman is actually better at "the right words" than the younger folks, as nowadays science and technology are pushed at school but communication isn't.  Nobody communicates worse than those who spent their time learning science because they didn't spend their time reading fiction and writing in complete sentences.  This is obviously a bit of a stereotype, as anyone can pick up new skills, but ever read a technical manual?  Understand it?  Of course not, because it's written so poorly.  So I'm guessing the older woman is probably by greater experience wiser in what goes wrong and how to prevent that and how to communicate than anyone just coming out of college these days.  Putting their skill sets together produces the good work, while any one of them alone would be worse at it.  The fact is, nobody will ever know if they're truly good at what they do unless their job is in sports where you directly compete against your peers.  And even there, they have no idea if there's something out there they might be better at than sports because in this life as we've designed it, we prepare for a job and then do that job and don't do other jobs to learn what we're actually best at.  You also can't measure ability by how much money one makes or celebrity.  That's a lot of luck and ruthlessness, not necessarily ability.  You wouldn't want Bill Gates designing anything, and he never did, because he can't do that.  What he could do was violate the anti-trust laws to block others from competing with the mediocre products his employees designed.  In sum, we never know in this life what we're really capable of, and if we don't try, we really really don't know.  Some people need a lot of education.  Others don't.  See Einstein, not a great student.  Peace.
Avatar universal
What you describe sounds more complicated than just your job, as you mention some difficult with your folks and so there's also that.  If your folks are having problems and you're isolated from them and you're adapting to a new job, that would be stressful for anyone, but stress isn't anxiety or any kind of mental illness so it's impossible to say from what you've said if you have a mental illness or not.  You're definitely not describing OCD, so you can put that one aside.  Another difficulty is that a lot of people get promoted to a job that doesn't suit them.  There's even a name for this, though it usually involves competence.  This is also not anxiety, it's you now being in a job you don't like and didn't want and you're reacting negatively to it.  This could be anxiety about your ability to handle the new level of responsibility, which is a form of insecurity that would probably pass with time as you settle in.  If you're a fan of any pro sport, I'm sure you've noticed that most athletes take some time to reach their level because at first they're anxious about succeeding.  It takes some time to get settled in to anything new -- most of us has some problems at some point in school when we advanced grades, then got used to it and then it was just easy for us.  So lots of possibilities that aren't any form of mental illness but just part of who you happen to be.  What you have to figure out is, given you say you enjoyed the role you had before and didn't want this role, is whether you're feeling insecure about ability or it's just something you don't enjoy and it's making you miserable.  That's not east to parse, but it's something you do have to figure out.  Companies promote people to positions they don't want to be in all the time, and also promote people all the time to positions people aren't really good at.  It's just how they operate.  Time will answer that as you settle in.  If it is anxiety then you would probably have noticed anxious thinking before this event happened.  Whatever you label it, however, you're in the position now, and your choices are to make it work, ask to be moved back to your comfortable place, get a different job with a different company, or if it is anxiety forming find a therapist that will help you overcome it.  Peace.
Helpful - 0
I can handle the work its just that i did not want to be promoted and i dont enjoy doing it
But the company thinks since i am doing an excellent job at my current position (which is still a lot of work to do ) i am in a comfort zone and dont want to come out of it , but my problem is this is triggering thoughts in my head all the time thinking about work and making me preoccupied , its not about actually what happens at work - any situation can be handled and they wont sack me or something if anything goes wrong , there are 2 issues

1. i have constant negativity thinking i will loose my job if something goes wrong which is not the reality as they have kept faith and given me a step role - why do i have this constant thought

2. I dont enjoy doing this - does this mean i have to go back to my original position or change the job to get out of this mess which has been a result of my performance ???

Its strange one
Again, it's up to you to decide if you're in a job you just don't like and it's creating problems for you.  Tons of people have jobs they don't like, and it's not a fun situation to be in.  It bothers some more than others, as we're all wired differently.  Some very successful people quit their jobs and others wonder why would anyone do that, but they just weren't happy doing it and that creates anxiety in some people.  I'm sure you've heard of famous actors and athletes because they get publicity quitting the thing they're best at because they just don't like it.  It's puzzling to others, but not to them.  So if that's your case, yeah, you might want to find different work if this is bothering you this much.  But if it's anxiety because you doubt yourself, that's a situation that can spill over to different parts of life and for that you would benefit from therapy.  We can't know as we don't know you, but we can try to help you see what might be happening.  If you don't know what's happening, that's also a good reason to see a therapist.  Your family situation is a different thing but obviously isn't helping when you're having a rough time.  But it's your life, not your parents' life, and you're the one who has to live it, not them.  Love doesn't require one to give up their life.  It might help, depending on your parents, to tell them what's going on so they might offer support rather than more stress, but if they aren't likely to help you obviously that won't help any.  You're in a tough situation, because what's going on might be two very different things, but one you figure out which it is it will be easier to tackle.  
973741 tn?1342342773
Hey there.  Welcome to the forum!!  Thanks for reaching out. Anxiety knows no boundaries and can get 'anyone'.  Even those who never suffered it before and those who have relatively peaceful, successful lives.  Everyone gets anxiety from time to time.  What makes it a clinical diagnosis is when it begins to impact daily functioning.  The more it impacts it, the more it becomes a clinical problem that needs treatment.  Many can overcome it by simply applying coping skills and lifestyle changes.  Thinking in terms of if anything triggers it.  Thinking in terms of if it is over 'real' things that you can problem solve about or just ruminating and at times illogical compared to the reality of the situation.  Are you stressed and pressured? I had a psychologist tell me for the average person not suffering clinically, that anxiety actually serves a purpose. It is warning you but also just notifying you that something is really important to you.  It's a lot less troubling when I think of it that way.  

This sounds like it may be or about to be impacting your job.  Like you are getting the feeling of wanting to just close down when the anxiety hits. If you DO start closing down, then it is time to address that for real so you do not lose your job.

Here's a nice tip list of things to try to help yourself:  https://adaa.org/tips  copy and paste that.  It has some very simple things to do including working in relaxation/decompression time, proper sleep, eating healthy, eating regularly, exercising most days, deep breathing, meditation, counting to 10, etc.  There is an app I personally like too called Calm which does guided meditation and my son uses Head Space.  Both good apps for self soothing through anxiety. There is also an interactive app (probably several of them by now) called Youper that you get feedback that is based in things like CBT and it kind of talks to you and talks you through some of these feelings.  I really find it kind of cool and helpful.  I think it was free, I can't remember as I've had it for awhile.  Head Space was free and I do pay for an upgrade to Calm for myself but they have a free version.  My other thing I do for anxiety is to break things down to smaller parts and just tackle it one at a time with small goals instead of the huge looming goal that feels overwhelming.  

If it gets to the point that you aren't functioning very well, you may look into talk therapy. It can be really helpful to sort things out.  Lots of therapy is done as 'telehealth' making it much more convenient. So, that could be an option for you as well.  

Hang in there.  There IS something to consider though which is the toll that long term anxiety can take.  It builds and I just say to you to not let it get to that point.  Work on it now so I'm glad you wrote here and I hope we can stay in touch and continue to help one another.

Helpful - 0
I can handle the work its just that i did not want to be promoted and i dont enjoy doing it
But the company thinks since i am doing an excellent job at my current position (which is still a lot of work to do ) i am in a comfort zone and dont want to come out of it , but my problem is this is triggering thoughts in my head all the time thinking about work and making me preoccupied , its not about actually what happens at work - any situation can be handled and they wont sack me or something if anything goes wrong , there are 2 issues

1. i have constant negativity thinking i will loose my job if something goes wrong which is not the reality as they have kept faith and given me a step role - why do i have this constant thought

2. I dont enjoy doing this - does this mean i have to go back to my original position or change the job to get out of this mess which has been a result of my performance ???

3. The point where my parents are not helping is they a creating panic and want me to come and stay in india with them taking a job there but my wife is right in saying this is the age to earn outside and your parents should be more accomodative ( both have good to moderate health are not in anyway need of my physical support there )
Know that others don't create panic in you.  You create panic in you.  Others create stress, which is a different thing.  You can't fix it if you can't pinpoint the problem.
Hi checkchecknow, thank you for getting back to me.  I'm glad to continue my conversation with you and please know this is a zone of people just sharing opinions.  :>) I'm always happy to help if I can.  And talking and being heard is one of the best things for us.  I hear you and am happy to listen.  

Most people do like to advance or be acknowledged for the hard work they are doing by promotion.  But that's not for everyone. Knowing yourself is important here. I will just say that I personally hate to see you miss out on advancement opportunities because of anxiety.  I don't think anyone has to move forward and if you don't like they job they are asking you to do or the increased responsibility, then that is something to consider. BUT if it is mostly the intrusive thoughts and worry, this may be something you could work through if you so choose.  Is it more money for you ?  That's sometimes motivating and enticing to work through something.  Otherwise, I'm not sure what you'd do not but could take a demotion if you wanted or ask to do your old job if you don't want to term it that way.  I'd personally give it a bit more time to see how you feel about it.  

You sound to definitely have some negative thought patterns.  You'd be in the same boat of no job if you lost your old job too. So, if you think logically, it's not necessarily the new position but the anxiety that is making you have the negative thoughts.  Sometimes challenging our anxiety is helpful.  Really, it can put us in a position to challenge these thoughts. Sometimes reframing thoughts in a different way can be helpful.  Instead of "I stink, I'm going to lose my job".  you may say instead "this job is important to me, I feel pressured, but I can do it. There is no reason evidence to think otherwise".  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy really does a great job of helping reframe our thoughts.  I got a work book recently on Amazon which is really simple to use at home. I can private message you the name of it if you want to look into it. At this point, I have a lot of these types of books/work books and this one is really one that can be easily utilized day to day.  Self doubt is part of anxiety.  So can negative image be involved, but working through that with a therapist would probably REALLY help you.  I recommend it.  

So, if you really don't enjoy doing the job you have, that means it is NOT just anxiety (looking at your point number 2). That is kind of your judgment call.  If the job isn't right for you, it just isn't.  No shame in that. Give it a bit more time. And then yes, you can suggest you move back to your old position or keep your eyes out for a different job you may like.  Let it play out and know this is just but a moment in time that you are in now. So, you can handle a moment of time to figure out what is best for you in a more permanent way.

I understand what you mean about the panic you say your parents are causing. They are sending you over the edge with your own anxiety.  You are caught in the middle of your wife and your parents. That's a hard place to be in.  Your parents are pushing hard and this makes you feel anxious and panicky.  Anxiety can bubble up to panic, it has certainly happened to me.  

I am again wondering if therapy is something available to you.  I do believe the UK has a mental health care system that can provide access to therapists but you aren't living there any longer?  Could you do telehealth with a UK therapist if your current living country doesn't have a mental health infrastructure?  Anyway, I'll pm you the name of the book I got on Amazon that you may find helpful.  Keep in touch.  
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