If you are still reading, God bless you.
To the point here.. I have SERIOUS social anxiety that is absolutely debilitating at times. I absolutely go out of my way to AVOID interaction with people (strangers AND people I know). It has an ENORMOUS effect on my life and the lives of my family! All negatively! I don't even want to talk about it, it's so stupid. I HATE being this way. I just want to be normal. I don't want to feel so panicked and scared when I have to interact with someone. It is EXHAUSTING! When my doorbell rings, INSTANTLY I feel all the blood just leave my arms and shoulders, blood rushes to my face, my heart beats like I am running, I feel like I am not getting enough air like I am running out of breath, I get really, really, REALLY nervous. I feel AFRAID! And it is the stupidest thing! It is SO irrational, it makes NO sense. I am not afraid the person, what I am afraid of is literally that I am afraid to interact. I am afraid I will not say the right thing, I won't know what to say, I will sound stupid, I will look stupid, I will sound rude, I will sound too nice, I will sound nervous! I am afraid they will know I am feeling afraid! And the thing is, I can most of the time pull it off and not look like I am being so uncomfortable. I do not think most people even have a clue I am so nervous! Just the people who know me well know that I have the social anxiety issues, and they are supportive of me and really don't think too much of it (though most of them do not know quite how bad it actually is for me!).
Still me continuing from the last two posts.
Whoo. I am glad I got that out.
Please, does anyone have any comments or insight? What is wrong with me?
By the way, I started on 50 mg Zoloft once every morning just about 5 weeks ago. It has helped me a lot with my depression, somewhat with my social anxiety, somewhat with compulsiveness (hair pulling, eating, and some other things I'm sure). I have been feeling a lot better since taking it, my husband thinks it is fantastic and says I am so much better to be around! Honest, I want to capitalize this because I am so happy about this! lol I feel like me and my husband's relationship is starting over!!!!!!! I feel butterflies with him again, you know what I mean, like when you first are in love in the beginning. I feel just so good. I am enjoying life so much more. I was really in a bad place mentally before going on the Zoloft, I finally could not take feeling that way anymore after nearly 2 years and so I went to my doctor! I had a horrible depression, just really felt worthless and without hope. I am looking forward now, feeling better, but here is something I need to say here and get an opinion on..
I am feeling bad today because I had a breakdown and got REALLY angry today.... I have NOT cried or yelled since starting the Zoloft nearly 5 weeks ago. But today...the RAGE that I used to experience BEFORE starting my Zoloft--the out-of-control crazy anger, the exhausting kind. It was over something legitimately aggravating and very stupid, but still I did over-react and got out of control and ended up in tears. It was like I forgot to keep my cool and went nuts and then afterward remember, "I am on Zoloft...I am not supposed to do that anymore..." I am just worried now that I need to up my dosage!!??
Sorry for the ramble..
Any input would be appreciated if anyone has a minute, about anything. Don't be shy! :) Thanks everyone.
maybe its the zolaf side effects. i dont know how about the drug tho.
I have been taking Ativan - 1 mg every day for the past two years. That's what my doctor thinks anyway. In between taking that, I take Valium #5 or 10, whatever I can get my hands on like Temazepam 30 mg, or Zoplicone. I take it during the day. yes, I know they are sleeping pills but I got into the habit of taking too many. What am I supposed to do?
Darla...the zoloft is going to help but it is not a cure all..(i wish it were!) You are still going to feel and at times overreact. That is normal human behavior. You are going to have highs and lows...it is just going to be more manageable.
Also I know that cloudy "what was I saying" feeling. I guess it is all part of it.
I am on paxil and also on buspar...buspar helps with the social anxiety you are feeling. As I have heard, It "enhances" the ssri (zoloft) that you are on now. Give the Zoloft more time and if you feel something more, speak to your doctor.
Penny...you sound like you have become addicted to your medication. Get to your doctor so he can put you on a withdrawal/detox plan. Tell him the truth and get it done now, before it spirals more out of control.
Hi Suzi-Q, I think you got the names crossed, but I got what you meant anyway! lol :) Thank you, that did make a lot of sense to me. The highs and lows being more managable, but still being human and sometimes overreacting at times. I feel so much better now that you have told me this. Thank you!
I may ask my doctor about Buspar, that sounds like it might be a good thing to try for me since I have the social anxiety. The Zoloft has helped with my social anxiety, but it is still pretty bad at times where I am freaking out in advance just over having to make a phone call! I don't like to answer my phone still, I get a rush of panic and I don't want to answer because I am then short of breath! Ugh!
Good luck Darla! You should see your doctor. Don't think a thing about it! If you are addicted, your doctor will know how to wean you off. This happens all the time. Maybe you can try something else less habit-forming that can help you just as well. The people on this forum are pretty nice, so post back and let us know how you are doing! :)
Thanks Hollie, It might be a side effect, that is definitely something to consider. I will look into that now. Hopefully it's not a side-effect and was just a bad day and I overreacted
Thanks everyone! :)
Since you responded to my post, I would like to respond to yours:
I have problems with both social anxiety and generalized anxiety (which is I get nervous just doing simple tasks like reading). Like you, I used to become really frustrated with these problems and so I decided to go to a psychiatrist/psychologist. He gave me Zoloft for about 5 months, but I did not really notice any difference. I got tired of the run-around, looking for pharmacies that would fill the free-sample prescriptions my Doc would write (He was a swell guy who liked to sidestep the pharmaceutical companies), so I took up meditation in order to address these problems. After 3 years of daily sitting, I've noticed a considerable improvement in how relaxed I am and how free I am. I can talk and relate with people more easily and am not as scared about how they will react. So I would recommend meditation rather than fiddling with medications. I read what one woman wrote on another thread about another person -- that "you might just have to live with it." But social anxiety, unlike schizophrenia, is not so unmanageable. Just know that beyond medication, there are other options as well.
Hi Jake, Thank you so much for your response. You know what, I have actually been thinking about learning how to meditate to try to get relief and manage my anxiety/depression/stress. I looked up online ''meditation'' in my city a few weeks ago, and found a place not far from me that is totally free and has meditation workshops and drop-in meditation times during the day. It is all free, they take donations. I have been wanting to go check it out, but have been sort of reluctant to do so.
Your story and advice has now inspired me to go check this place out. I am hopeful and want to give it a try now. Thank you. :)
It isn't a Shambhala Center is it? I went to one when I first started sitting as well in order to receive instruction. Went well.
Good luck in your journey. Just be persistent and sit daily if you can. It wouldn't hurt to have a guide either to provide reassurance if needed.
Glad I could help; makes me feel good that you are hopeful now!