Hi, long story short. I am a hypochondriac and recently been freaking out about having schizophrenia in particular and it got extremely worse when i learned that i am at a slight change of inheriting it from my father
I have already talked to the practicing psychiatrist (i mean, he could be lying or be poorly qualified, but why would he) who said i have anixiety disorder and all that stuff and that i am in the hypochondrical cycle
I was first afraid of the delusions thinking that my hypochondriac fears (after my mom's death of cancer) may be that. But from googling and researching that myself i still wasn't sure about what i have. I did have criticism of my own condition (for me it was like a scale when facts and risks are placed on two sides and one outweighs another). Meaning i was never sure that i have particular disease, thats why i was looking for help. I only understood that i am okay on delusions when i've read that the believes in schiz are so severe that the medicine is used to treat them. Which i wouldn't need, the right words and evidence would convince me
Then i think i am on another cycle now. It started almost as soon as i made enough research on delusions and got convinced that i am good
But now i have been afraid of the voices. So i've had a question. Two days in the row i've had a few incidents of something similar to "voices" but both cases could be explained by something else. BEFORE THAT I'VE NEVER HAD EXPERIENCE HEARING VOICES
I work retail and yesterday when closing and looking if everyone left, in the supposeddly store for a second i thought i've heard voices somewhere far away, like some sort of murmur and it felt like "ah, what was that?". But i was super tired (after an 8 hour shift) and there was lots of noise in the building, such as conditioner, radio, animals screaming (i work at petco) and it later turned out that there were janitors in the building who maybe were talking to each other. And later on i tested and it turned out that i could recreate the exact same sound in my head and stop it whenever i want by another thought or by starting doing something else and thinking about it, so maybe it even was myself thinking of what to look, imagining it and getting scared of my own imagination for a second since i was super tired and not thinking straight
The second case was today, and it would be also possible to explained it by something else. I was ringing the person up and i've heard someone say "****!" right into my ear, like not addressing me, but like if someone said it to themselves/ the sound was coming from outside and was not inside of my head and it was coming from the direction of a person and there were 2 more people within my hand reach who could've said it. I did ask my coworker about it later on, but he said he heard nothing, but also he maybe didnt even get what i was talking about and he maybe wasnt paying attention, whatever. So that could be explained by assuming that some of the people that stood close to me had said it and from what i understood, its more common for schizophrenics to hear voices inside their head.
So what i wanted to know is, if there is no clear evidence that there is a voice in my head and what i hear could be explained by something else, i shouldn't yet be bothered by it right or at least not assume that what i have are the voices? Meaning if i was sitting alone and had a voice is one thing, but another is when there is at least semi-reasonable explanation right?
Also there is a thing of me now expecting a voice to pop up at some point and i am super afraid.
I am right now in search of a specialist, but i was never called back yet.