Where do I fit on the spectrum?

[isobelskye]

Hey. I'm Isobel, I'm almost 22 and I'm learning that the way I've felt and acted for years now has a name and is not my fault. My sister (for all intensive purposes) helped me see this some weeks back. I've been conditioned by my mother to believe that I am simply lazy, weak, etc and I am trying to break free from the mental hell she has put me through over the years. I know I suffer from an anxiety disorder of some form. Seeking treatment right now is difficult for me for reasons I won't go into here. I'm here to post about my symptoms, physical and emotional. As I'm only just coming to terms with this all, it's a lot of information overload and I'm not sure where exactly I fit on the spectrum and what to do next. Any advice is appreciated, of course. Thank you....

- Feeling keyed up... when I do relax, it's in short bursts
- Fear of impending doom
- Compulsively worrying
- Constant fear, constantly scared
- Feeling like bursting into tears at random moments
- I constantly feel like something is terribly wrong with me, that I'm going insane or that I'm surely dying
- Mood swings...I go from optimistic and hopeful to feeling at the bottom of the barrel in the blink of an eye. It's like   there's an invisible button that gets pushed at random moments.
- Constant fatigue
- Difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep
- Nightmares
- Easily startled, especially by people or bright lights
- Muscle tension
- Headaches
- Neck soreness
- Chest tightness
- Shooting pains
- Craving sugar
- Fear of being judged...I feel as though everyone's eyes are on me
- Difficulty concentrating
- Spaced out feelings
- Trapped feeling
- Feelings of guilt and shame
- Constantly feeling overwhelmed
- Feel like I'm carrying the world on my shoulders
- Freaked out by the phone.
-  I am terrified by cleaners, every kind. If I go near the cabinet where they are stored, I feel like I need to change my clothes to get the "germs" of the cleaning agents off of me.
- If I walk through the aisle at the grocery store or walk by a bottle of cleaner at home I don't breathe when I pass it and I fear that the air around it somehow contaminated me with it.
- Sometimes when someone says something or I think something, I repeat the idea over and over in my head
- Sometimes I turn a switch back on to check that there's nothing there , eg: dirt, a hair, etc.(irrational fear of fire)
- Constant fear about becoming contaminated with a deadly disease
- When I write people e-mails, I send them to myself and read them over, more than once usually.
-I also do not like to post personal info like this on public pages (I'm always paranoid that someone will track me down). But then again, I'm always afraid that if I don't open up new browsers in checking emails, logging on the school's secure site, etc., someone will hack my computer and find out my passwords/info. This, of course, makes no sense at all, but I get very anxious over it.
- I panic when guests sit on your sofa because they are using the pillows wrongly (sitting on a pillow meant for the head, etc.)
- Feeling on edge
- Fear of making mistakes
- Feeling flat
- Paranoia; everyone's out to get me
- Frequent bathroom visits
- Feel like I can't do anything right
- Feel like there's no point
- Looking in the mirror and seeing something grotesque

That's off the top of my head. I hope I haven't left anything out, but these are the main things I deal with on a daily basis. Thanks again,
Isobel.

[lynn57]

Sounds like you really need to talk to a doctor.  Symptoms you are describing could have to do with adrenal glands, thyroid etc. On the mental side there are numerous disorders that could also produce these symptoms.  Bipolar disorder, OCD, Anxiety, Depression and ADHD etc.  A lot of the mental disorders indicative of these symptoms may overlap and are often treated with the same drugs or a combination of drugs.  Either way there is help somewhere.  If money is an issue there are agencies that will help.  If you have a problem with alcohol or drugs, there are meds that a doctor can still prescribe and psychiatric care that will help you deal with these problems you are having. Goood luck and don't give up.

[anxeffect]

U seem to have the classic symptoms of non-diabetic hypoglycemia which is as per latest study is a nutritional disorder(which they say is most of the neurosis cases) and curable by altering diet.for more details on this new ground breaking theory that all psychiatric diseases are essentially a disease of energy production log on to www. hypoglycemia.asn.au