hey this problem is related to your mind....dont be so concious....what i think is you always have the thought that people are looking at you while you eat,,,,but this is not true...just dont think too much ...and try to eat slowly....so that your stomach can properly digest food....
I'm sure there must be a name for the fear of eating in front of other people........but the name of what you do when you get home is BULIMIA. This is a very, very dangerous and potentially life threatening habit to get into.
PLEASE see your doctor immediately and tell him/her what you've been doing. They need to run some tests to see if you are seriously depleted of essential elements and also to make sure you're not dehydrated.
Once these tests are back, your doctor will hopefully refer you to a therapist who deals with these types of disorders. If they don't, then ask to be referred to you. You need help in learning to overcome this before you do irreperable harm to your body.
PLEASE seek help for this immediately. There IS a cure!
And let us know how you're doing, OK?
Also, stop by the Eating Disorder Forum and talk with the folks there who have been where you are and will have excellent advice and support for you.
I wish you the very best!
I understand exactly what You're going through while I can not suggest a way for You to be able to fight this I can offer You support and if You need to speak to someone please know You can message me.
Please seek help from a medical professional though this can become serious and it will effect you for the rest of Your life.
I was in hospital with anorexia a few years ago and almost died and I have grown up with these feelings and it is not worth not seeing someone for.
I have gotten to the point where I can not even be seen carrying food around anyone because I fear they will see me and think I am eating it.
It is horrible and it is not worth it, you lose friends and are not able to go out on social outings please get help tifa
thinking of you
To greenlydia/samrin: Thanks for the concern. I was afraid someone would mention that word.
To princessdaniella: Carrying food is to me the equivalent of admitting to the world that you want to be fat, but it's completely wrong. Thanks for mentioning this I feel a little less insane (:
The support from everyone really is overwhelming.. I wasn't expecting so many replies.
I know that I do have a problem, but I don't think I'm bulimic. Not in the 'traditional' sense anyway. Laxatives and exercising aren't as serious as vomiting.
I actually already see a therapist, but for depression and anxiety, and I haven't told her about the laxatives or anything. Is she qualified enough? (She's just a general counsellor, not a psychologist.) She wouldn't be able to put me in a hospital, right?
Depending on Your age and I know a lot of it can be monitored out of hospital until Your are getting help or otherwise noticable at a dangerous weight.
I was put into hospital at the age of 16 into a childrens psychiatric ward when I hit 36 kilos but before that it was all monitored out of hospital.