Will I ever feel "normal" again?

[emc3]

I have had what I have come to the conclusion is anxiety for about two years now. It started out with a few sporadic panic attacks and then I was fine for a while with just small episodes here and there. Just recently, it's gotten incredibly worse. I feel anxious everyday!!! My heart beats irregularly and fast. I tense all my muscles. I have a hard time concentrating. I have a hard time sleeping, which makes me tired all the time. I have a hard time swallowing, to the point where sometimes I actually can't. I feel like I am going to faint. I think I am going to die. I fear something horrible is going to happen. I try to concentrate on my breathing, but it only seems to make it worse!  I use to be able to walk myself out of it, but that just doesn't seem to be the case anymore. I tend to be a fairly social person, but as of late, I am becoming more and more withdrawn. I talk with my friends about it in hopes that they won't think I am crazy. The seem to be supportive, but I don't think that they can really understand the totality of what I am going through. I try to avoid things that trigger panic and live my life at the same time, but it seems as though everything seems to trigger panic at this point! Unfortunately I don't make a ton of money, nor do I have insurance. I would love to see a doctor and therapist, but financially it just seems impossible at this point. It would just be nice to have someone to talk to who understands. I fear that this is my life now forever and it's making me depressed, angry, and embarrassed. I want this to go away!!! I just want to feel "normal" again!!!

[emc3]

It may sound crazy, but just hearing your stories makes me feel safe. Today I feel a bit less anxious than I usually do... I hope the entire day feels this way.
Thanks. everyone!!!

[Bud6]

The amount of times people tell you not to worry.  It's easy said than done.  Like others have said you need to believe and be kind to yourself.  Don't beat yourself up its not helpful.  I have had anxiety/depression for 20 years on and off.  Each time it seems worse but I always get  out of it. I struggle but you need to realise your emotions actions what you are feeling.  It's a horrible place to be but stay positive. We all have bad times.  I have harmed and say things I shouldn't why do we go this. Our mind has thoughts what pop into our head all time and mostly they r negative this is what we have to fight once you done that and believe in yourself your half way there to recovery. I having cbt stands for cognitive behaviour therapy  which I had b4 it's better than medication. X

[ELeonora10]

Please don't worry! I have had the same problem for a year, and it has always gotten better with time. And TRUST ME if I made it through you can too (I'm only sixteen). You probably fear your anxiety way too much. You are not going crazy, you are going to be fine! Never lose faith in yourself! :)

[JtotheJ]

I want to mention something that you may have read on other support boards, but which is so crucial that I will mention it again...acceptance. I know it sounds counterintuitive but, if you can learn to accept yourself and your feelings, if you can simply observe your feelings without reacting to them, you will start to come out of the anxiety spiral. As long as you allow your anxiety to CAUSE you more anxiety, you'll stay trapped in the cycle. Accept yourself, notice your feelings and physical sensations. Keep a journal of it, be a scientist about it. If you have a fear, write it down or say it out loud...then ask yourself "Is that reasonable? How likely is that to happen, really? Is there another outcome that is MORE likely? Also. I found the book "The Power of Now" to be extremely helpful. It's not marketed to anxiety sufferers but it helped me more that anything else. I know how you feel and I just want to put it out there, to all of you, that this is something you can absolutely recover from.

[JtotheJ]

I'm 31 and have had generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder for many years now. It's usually just the occasional sense of fear and panic that comes and goes, but I've had the symptoms flare up really badly twice in the past 8 years. There were times I just didn't want to be alive anymore. When I'd lost all ability to connect with things and people around me, when I couldn't sleep, didn't want to eat...just didn't want to exist at all. Everything was frightening...most of all the things I was feeling and my intense belief that I was losing my mind and would be stuck like this forever. Now, I feel compelled to come to these message boards just to say this one thing: YOU CAN GET BETTER.
Yes. YOU. You can get better. Anxiety by it's very nature makes you believe you cannot. You worry you are going to die, or even worse...that you will feel this way forever, that it's hopeless. Well I can tell you with total certaintly...you won't, and it's not. That's your anxiety talking! After severe and constant symptoms that lasted for weeks and months on end I started seeing a psychologist and, through talk therapy and trial and error I learned what works for me. Perhaps most importantly, I learned to recognize anxiety symptoms and observe them as physical things that were happening to me, rather than the result of some immediate danger or external cause (such as illness, or earthquakes, or heart attacks, etc etc etc). Do I still get anxious sometimes? Well, yes! EVERYONE gets anxious sometimes. But I'm now much better at handling it than even the average person who doesn't have anxiety issues. I didn't think it was possible but here I am, 2 years later and feeling normal again. You can beat this. Talk to a professional who has experience with anxiety and don't give up hope!  

[Clarissa1233]

Hello what therapy did u do?

[takingit1dayatatime]

My Life summed up exactly!!!  Hopefully my new therapist can help. These attacks have literally taken over my life. Thanks for the positive comments. It gives me hope..........

[Linziw22]

I am 32yrs old and was diagnosed with GAD shortly before my 30th birthday, I had suffered for approx. 18months with terrible anxiety and panic. Like you all say anything and everything worried or bothered me, I didn't sleep, couldn't eat therefore my weight dropped dramatically, I was an emotional wreck and thought death would be better. However fortunately I live in the UK where we get free medical health care. I seen a lovely male doctor who was very sympathetic. he did prescribe me medication however it had an adverse effect on me and I knew I didn't really want to take them which made me worse! So after numerous visits I decided to do the CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). It worked for me! im not completely free of it but I know how to manage it better and I recognise the warning signs.

for all you suffering, please know, YOU WILL NOT DIE, my doc made that perfectly clear. you have to take time out for you and before you do anything or go anywhere, try to reason with yourself, and ask yourself, whats the worst that can happen??? nothing, take some deep breaths and think, I can do this, this will not control me, you can control this and you can get better.

[Ivycry]

I have anxiety and i can see everything happened with my life it's like a future move

[Lane8085]

Dependence is my BIGGEST fear. I went to my doctor and asked him for help but let him know my husband was an addict and was 2 years clean now. So I asked for a non-narcotic anxiety med. He absolutely refused. So when I went back to him he told me he would need to urine screen me to be taking a narcotic. Number one I tried to get a non-narcotic anyway so that I could keep cost down and not to temp my husband that my doc cared nothing about. Number 2 then you want to charge me more for a **** test because you want to make money and not help me. I work 10 days everyday and cannot just make it to the doc whenever or to find a new one when ever so at this point I am pretty screwed. I just wanna cry.

[Lane8085]

OMG!! You have described my everyday. I cry at work, my kids suffer there are NO support groups or affordable counseling where I live. I went to the doctor for help and he WOULD NOT give me a non narcotic so I stopped going to him. I don't know what to do. I cant breath sometimes. I get no rest at night, I cant be happy, and there is no way to stop this all together. I HATE feeling this way. If you talk to ppl they think you are crazy, and that word alone causes panic. You are not alone.

[DeeNook]

I know what u are going through I am 25 years old with anxiety disorder for 4 years now .. I mostly have them when I am in a car driving or s passagner .. I'm taking hydroxzine 50mg they help a lil take about 30 minutes to start puts u to sleep .. I haven't been to the doctor that much because of funds .. But I have been so lonely dealing with this because we I tell my family how I feel they think I'm crazy and it's all in my head .. The worse part I hate is heart racing depersonalizations and feeling foggy and out of body sometimes if it gets too bad

[colby_easley]

I have GAD for 1 year now and wondering if with too much stressful events going in my mind can lead to psychosis or schizophrenia because of uncontrollable worry and fear.
I was diagnosed panic disorder due to meth overdose then it evolved into GAD after 6 months.
I experienced Depersonalization / Derealization at some point and depression.
I do not take any medication.

[pedro1980]

I have so many similar problems to all you guys and mines actually started 2 years ago and I have had health anxiety since I wake up more times than I can count every night a worry abt everything under the sun I have went from being the most energetic guy alive to having fatigue constantly and I also self medicate and diagnose of the internet which has had me certain I have all different types of illnesses and diseases I have a slightly swollen cerv node on my neck that the doc has checked and said its a shotty node but this started all my worries  in the first place.
I am so worried about all this that I panic about everything from a small lump on m lip to any spot I get I am constantly pawing away at me neck looking for lumps and bumps that it is tender .A sore head and stiff neck and shoulders are my latest gripe and I cant seem to shake this constant worry I am 100% sure I am suffering from anxiety and depression.

[francie42]

I started having anxiety attacks a couple months ago.I am afraid I'm going to die.can't get it out of my mind. I'm on'05milligram xanax  they help some but I still feel like my life will never be the same. My anxiety is horrible in the morning. I don't know about anyone else but I have muscle tension aches and pains every where. I need help trying to live with this.I've always been a happy go lucky person and I'm not that way anymore.please I pray to God all the time to please help me get my life back. Reading your stories helps me know I'm not alone.

[francie42]

I started having anxiety attacks a couple months ago.I am afraid I'm going to die.can't get it out of my mind. I'm on'05milligram xanax  they help some but I still feel like my life will never be the same. My anxiety is horrible in the morning. I don't know about anyone else but I have muscle tension aches and pains every where. I need help trying to live with this.I've always been a happy go lucky person and I'm not that way anymore.please I pray to God all the time to please help me get my life back. Reading your stories helps me know I'm not alone.

[nrnrnr123]

Hello everyone,
After reading all of your stories I so much sympathize and am going through the same thing every single day. I have been suffering so much with anxiety for several years. But after having emerging surgery in August It got s much worse and I have tried so many anti depress meds and I am allergic to all so far and have had a really bad withdrawl.  I do not know hat my next step is and how to do this without the anti meds. I do take Xanax for relief. But it is all for a few hours. I sometimes feel I cant feel my body that its not with me, light headed, blurry eyes, I feel they will pop out of me, tingly feelings in my feet and body. I feel this will never end. in one way its great to see that I am not the only one but aother its very scary how any people suffer from this and its a everyday issue. my last medication was wellbutrin I was on it for 18 days and I felt sick from it and my doctor told me to stop taking it thatst when all the withdrawls are now.  thanks everyone and lets try to talk to each other and help one another. if anyone knows any natural routes I would love to go that route. I am seeing a therapist that's my start. good luck all.

[cptiff]

I have felt this same exact way, especially for the past few months. I'm constantly anxious. Pretty much every aspect of my life makes me stressed out. College has been a nightmare for me, work is hell, and I never call the friends I do have because I'm anxious. I'm afraid to tell people what I think because I'm afraid I'll be labeled as "crazy".

The really ****** up thing about all of this is I felt absolutely fine a few years ago when I was on meds. I stopped the meds around nine months ago, and since then have let my anxiety take control of my life. The only thing I take now is Clonazepam and it helps, but is really addictive and affects my memory.

I have to force myself not to call someone screaming my head off when it gets bad. I'm just like ****. I feel so trapped.

Get an Rx for Clonazepam/Klonopin if you get panic attacks, because these drugs really can be a life-saver in that bad moment. I wouldn't suggest taking them every day like me though. Benzo's are addictive and you get a tolerance.

[charliebeen]

I feel like I am dying of anxiety, my life has been destroyed by it, actually anxiety and depression never even let me have the chance to start a real life and I am becoming more and more convinced each day that dying is the only way this pain will end, but I am trapped as I couldnt do that to the people that have supported me and then I get panicked about my guilt complex. I wish I wasn't here.

[Chawney]

Hi Cory100,
I've had severe anxiety for 27 years and I'm so tired of feeling like I can't do what I want. I began having attacks at age 10 and still have it at 37.  It seems like even the doctors don't understand anymore how I'm feeling. Every time I go to the hospital the doctors look at me like she's here again for the same thing. The worst part is that it feels terrible and instead when I'm hyperventilating they assume I'm on some illegal drugs.

[Rjvsingh]

I feel the same evryday... I really dont knw how serious my anxiety problem is.....
I am 21 years, and have a lot of responsbilties on me. I am from india. I share almost all the stuff that u people have been goin through. I really will nt have to type much, as most of my problems are already covered by you guys. I just wanna feel normal again....
I somehow have managed to indulge ma self in a job, dat pays me well, but caryin it everyday becomes a tough task. I just wanna feel normal again. Thats all i wanna do. My symptoms are sporadic, But for sure belong to anxiety. The fear of losing maself is grippin me. I dont want dat to happn... Coz dis job means a lot to me. Any help or guidance will be appriciated. Thanks

[Rjvsingh]

I feel the same evryday... I really dont knw how serious my anxiety problem is.....
I am 21 years, and have a lot of responsbilties on me. I am from india. I share almost all the stuff that u people have been goin through. I really will nt have to type much, as most of my problems are already covered by you guys. I just wanna feel normal again....
I somehow have managed to indulge ma self in a job, dat pays me well, but caryin it everyday becomes a tough task. I just wanna feel normal again. Thats all i wanna do. My symptoms are sporadic, But for sure belong to anxiety. The fear of losing maself is grippin me. I dont want dat to happn... Coz dis job means a lot to me. Any help or guidance will be appriciated. Thanks

[nattopping]

i havent commented before but i had to reply. I'm so glad i read your post, i have been on and off anti depressants a few times but just after christmas last year i was put on anti anxiety medication, after i had my baby, it didnt help and i stopped taking it, but it seems to have made everything worse. It is ruining my life. im going to take your advice. im going to go alternative

[rose042789]

Hi everyone, first I want to say it is so great to see everyone being so supportive on this site. I'm new to this so bear with me please. Heres my story and concerns that maybe someone can help with. Last month I was driving to a wedding with my mom in the passenger seat. The whole day I was fine, I ate good, did my hair, got my makeup done, and got dressed for the wedding. The whole time I was driving, I kept feeling shortness of breath and irregular breathing. I tried to just calm myself down. I started getting scared so I pulled over. Instead of calming down things got worse. I felt this heaviness in my chest and stomach. Then my entire body went completely numb and very tingly, to the point where I couldn't open my hands or move my feet. I panicked and had my mom call 911. They told me it was just a panic attack and basically just had me sit there til I was relaxed again. Nothing major happened to me prior to this, just the usual stress from work school family, etc..It has been 3 weeks since then and everyday I feel scared. If I feel like my heart is beating fast or my breathing is irregular, I start to feel scared and panicky. I usually just take deep breaths and walk around to calm myself down. Im absolutely terrified that I will be this way forever now. I know its normal to be scared after a panic attack, but I just hope this goes away. Ive been scared to drive or go out ever since then too. I still drive and go out when needed, but I cant seem to shake this feeling of worry. Any tips for a first time panic attack? How long is it normal to be scared after having my first panic attack? I refuse to take medications or be diagnosed with anything, Im hoping my feeling are just a funk and are a result of being hospitalized. Any comments or advice would greatly help?

[sugarbooger20]

I am completely on the same page as everyone else here.  I just started having these "anxiety" attacks in December.  I was at work when the first one occurred and ended up being taken to the hospital by ambulance because I didn't know what was happening.  It felt like something something really bad was going to happen right then.  All in all, I ended up taking 75mg Effexor XR once daily and 5 my Cloneazapam twice daily. This took care of the anxiety immediately and instead of waiting for the next attack to happen, I was able to start planning my life again.  I will also tell you that a huge help is talking to a Psychologist.  I am fortunate enough that my employer is accommodating what is happening to me and my needs to take care of this.  It is truly debilitating and I judged everyone until it happened to me.  Take about walking a mile in someone else's shoes.  Huge awakening but in talking with my Dr, this may not be a life long disorder.  It's a change in lifestyle to remove the triggers.   We are all here to help one another so it is great to see this string continue.

[Mannyx12]

I feel less depressed when I saw dis posts I thought I was the only one I felt horrible everyday I can't stop thinking of bad things and my death I just want to be normal again I wanna feel joy and happy every single day and I wanna do alot of things I never done iam tired of living like dis feeling pain,scared,and I want to stop panicking everytime I think about death and worrying