hi, im brandon. im 18 years old and a senior in high school. i started seeing my pyschologist in early december of 2006. i got help as soon as i started feeling depressed. i have no idea as to what caused it, but things have become extremely different. over the past couple of years i didnt really talk to most of my friends as the feeling of depression got worse. i couldn't imagine HELL being any worse than the constant,feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and lonliness. not only this, i just couldnt focus in school and couldn't do anything right. back then, i had at least 20 panic attacks every damn day. my last two years of high school pretty much sucked cause i almost failed english the second trimester, and the third trimester i failed algebra 2B and had to retake it next year. the last day of school i skipped public speaking class because i didnt wanna present in front of other people. looking back on all of my failures, i felt extremely ashamed of my high school experience. i found myself asking, why cant i just get through and enjoy my high school years like everyone else. by this point, you're probably thinking im being self-centered or selfish but all this, and more, is the absolute truth. anyway, i recently went to a psychiatrist and she prescribed 50mg of Zoloft. i was very keen to start the medication because i didnt wanna feel depressed anymore and i really thought it would work. the zoloft had its ups and downs. the side effects were kind of scary at first. a couple hours after i took the pill, my hands and legs started shaking alot. i had diarrea, a really bad headache, and felt extremely sleepy which really sucks cause i get up at 6am everydday for school. however, zoloft benefited me in a few ways. i didnt really feel anything after that point and i didnt really feel as depressed. currently, id say the depression is almost gone. after i took the pill for a few weeks, my feelings were completely numb. i didnt have anymore uncomforting thoughts or panic attacks, and i became more aware of the poeple around me. the biggest problem i discovered is that it doesn't do anything to help anxiety. i guess you could say it made it worse because i wasn't thinking of anything else but fear and i couldnt get my mind off of it. its like i let the anxiety do everything for me and i have no control over it. iv tried just about everything my doctor has told me to do. everyday, i thrust myself into social situations and always end up ******* it up or walking away. i cant stand the akwardness and unfamiliarity. whenever i have to work in a group or in a class, i get really nervous and i just dont know what to do or how to act. there's this girl in my class that i kind of wanna ask out, shes in my english class this trimester. we haven't talked in a couple years because iv just been so busy with myself and my own well-being trying to keep up. i dont want her to see me like this lonely guy who never talks. im pretty sure everyone else thinks this of me too. the problem is, i dont know how to talk to her or what to say. i get these really scary thoughts that im never going to get a girlfriend or be responsible enough to handle a relationship. i might just end up living alone so i can avoid the fear. im having a really hard time typing this knowing that other people will be reading it. but i need to tell somone else to get feedback on what i should do...i guess you could say im panicking for an answer. im thinking of increasing my zoloft dosage up to 100mg so maybe the fear would lessen and i could ask ashley out on a real date. i could feel comfortable again, like i used to. what should i do? any feeback would be great. thanks.