Hi. Since you've had issues with panic in the past it sounds like you have developed Agoraphobia.....fear of open/public places. Your home becomes your "safe place". Your difficult surgery may be contributing to this and therapy would be a big help. You should seek help from a Psychiatrist who can refer you to the proper therapist and prescribe medication to help you get through this time. I hope this helps and best wishes.
You had anxiety/panic issues before the surgery, but somehow, between the operating room and your home, that anxiety has branched out into what you believe is agoraphobia.
The fact that you are still able to go out and shop and be amongst strangers is not agoraphobia. If it was, you wouldn't be out of your house, much less shopping in a large grocery store.
In my humble and totally non-medical opinion, I think you are grappling with some social or generalized anxiety disorder. Your fear of feeling faint, having a heart attack and dying are classic symptoms of anxiety and just about everybody on this forum can relate to them. The vast majority of us do NOT have agoraphobia to the extent that we are unable to leave the safety of our homes or comfort zones. I think most of us worry about having either an anxiety or panic attack when we go somewhere, but we still go. YOU still go.
I would urge you to speak to your doctor about this. Discuss your HEART anxiety. He/she can explain what tests were run before your surgery to assure them your heart was healthy for the surgery. Everything about your heart was monitored every second you were on the operating table and obviously there were no cardiac issues. But you need to hear this from your doctor.
You need to deal with the anxiety issue through therapy and if you do have a budding case of agoraphobia, you can stop it before it cripples your life.
Habing gone through what sounds like a nightmare surgery, you're obviously pro-active about taking care of your physical health. Time now to take care of your mental health.
You're going to fine..........really. But YOU have to be the one to pick up the phone.
I wish you a speedy recovery from your surgery and relief from your anxiety.
thanks you guys, I constantly check my pulse to see if it is ok.
the fact that i had such a hard time in surgery but still my heart was fine gives me some piece of mind. I believe you are right i will call a therapist.
thanks a bunch.