It's great you reached out here. First of all, if you are having thoughts about self-harm, you definitely want to seek medical help immediately. Your symptoms with the breathing are just as important. Is there anything else going on that might be adding to the symptoms you are experiencing? I am by no means a medical doctor or even close. The breathing is a great concern. Do you feel like you could pass out? When you feel strong emotions, does the breathing problem get worse? Your body could possibly be having a serious reaction to the medication that you take. For that reason, the need for medical help is very urgent. If it is not caused by that, you might be experiencing a panic attack. I would feel very shallow breathing for long periods of time, but they were associated with anxiety and negative thoughts.
I take antidepressants and mood stabilizers for bipolar depression and anxiety, which I was diagnosed with about a year ago. I can relate a lot to what is happening to you right now. I am hoping that it is just a result of an medication imbalance. I have been on lamictal (a mood stabilizer/antidepressant for bipolar) and seen a dosage work for a few months, then suddenly I feel very negatively and the depression hits like a brick wall. My heart goes out to your family situation, and what you are experiencing. I know it feels very real. Just remember that there is help, and you will get better. Medication has helped me a great deal, I used to have the same emotions that you did. Thought I would never get out of that hole. BUT, I did. And you will too, I promise.
Seek medical help immediately, and if you can't, tell someone who is close. It is important that someone watches over you to make sure things don't get worse. Being alone is not ideal in this situation. Nothing to be ashamed of. Many people go through this exact same thing, people will understand.
If you can, do something that you enjoy. Take a long, hot, bubble bath. Try going on a walk, writing how you feel in a journal, reading a book, eating something that you really enjoy... speaking with an old friend, You don't have to bear your soul to everyone in the world, but connecting with another human is going to help you a lot. If not, you have this site with many people who care greatly about others. I know a week ago when I joined, I felt horrible, and people talked me back into feeling better. We know how you feel. There is no judgment here.
There is also a teen section where you can post and might get more responses.
thank you so much, i dont even know you but i felt like you cared so much. you reply made me almost cry. i feel like no one knows what is wrong because there is just so much things going on. today my doctor referred me to a psychiatrist so i hope talking to a professional will help me finally! thank you so much for your time to speak to me. your an awesome person
Wow, that is really touching! Now I am the one almost crying- you really made my day. I wish I understood this site more, so I could have been notified of your reply. I do care, greatly, about how you are feeling. It is easy to relate to someone when you've had the same experiences, whether good, bad, frightening etc.
It's okay to not know what is going on. I've had so many frustrating moments where I asked just that. So, I understand. Your reaching out is just starting a chain of positive events, and help is on the way. And until help has arrived, we just need one more person in the world to say, "I know."
I really applaud you speaking with your doctor and getting that reference. You took the first huge step to getting help, and I know reaching out can be difficult for you. I used to be scared about getting help too. Just know, that in time, you will be feeling much better and like yourself again. And you're not all gone, you are still here. I can tell you care about your life, and the rest of your family's too. So remember, you're a good person who is taking all the right steps. Help is on the way.
In the meantime, find those things that you enjoy. I hope you found something yesterday or today that helped, even a tiny bit. I think a milkshake helps stave off about 90% of my life's problems. Try to remember an ideal night before you start winding down for the evening, and replicate it. If there's something you like-- even if you think it won't help-- maybe give it a shot. Here is permission for a 3 pound milkshake. So, have at it... :)
you may be my new best friend. thank you! and i encourage you also to stay strong with what you are going through. i want to be a mental health and addictions counselor when im older because my issues and seeing how much others go through as well makes me so sensitive. i just want to help. you should too! you seem like a very inspirational person that would be great at it. we could even work together:p