Hi ...
I have dealt with /experienced anxiety for about 4 years now, ( a LOT more when it had all started realllly with thoughts in the first year)....so I can somewhat relate...
Do you mean you had a anxiety attack while talking w/her? I think it is not that you do not like/love her..I have experienced being very uptight/nervous (sometimes) in front of someone I know before, not really an anxiety attack, but I know now that it was my mind trying to overthink....so it may have just been that you started to subconsiously feel uptight..but it was not probably really about her? I had originally started having anxiety about what thoughts I had, monitoring them , and what happened was that I'm not sure if I started randomly thinking about relligion or not, but got very scared when I thought, "what if I thought about something bad/say something not going with / or think about religion in any way that was not wholly and COMPLETELY in an accepting manner?" ( I think this may have stemmed b/c my parents are not overly religious, but definitely very much so)..
I found , about 2 years later, with thoughts about everything at that point overthinking EVERY thing because it is sometimes a vicious cycle (of fear, really..THAT is it......that is what really anxiety is ) that my thoughts about something do not really , really have to do with how I am as a person...I can for example think to myself, "Oh why does it have to be a crappy day today?" (as an ex.)..but that does not mean/have anything to do with HOW and WhO I am ....I am not one to complain, and I always appreciate everything in life !!! So because I may THINK that doesn't mean anything..we are HUMAN...I am compassionate, kind, generous, loving and other things that we all really are...it is just like, so what that you had a thought? so what?!!!! that is what i may have fleetingly been thinking of for a millisecond, but does not define me whatsoever.....so really it was my fear of going out of line (just with my thoughts..literally trying to just scare myself! and constantly control them) ..(i come from a pretty strict and harsh environment and really could not get out of line at all on anything..so i've learned through various sources, that anxiety, which is fear, can stem from childhood, and one might try to overthink/overanalyze themselves to monitor to see if they're doing things right, or in my case, if they are "wrong" or are not "bad" etc...sooo not what we really ARE as human beings)..
So I guess to shorten up, don't think at all /feel guilty about having some anxiety about your girlfriend, or while you are talking to your girlfriend....I'm sure you know deep down you are a great person , kind, and it sounded to me like what I used to do with THOUGHTS..take them personal/serious, and identify with them... we are HUMAN , you must see that perspective....anxiety is just fear...it is NOT YOU!!!!! so when I learned , for the most part!, to try not to fear anxiety itself, I let things go in my head and when I didn't try to have to control /monitor myself, I felt actually MORE in control/calm!!! I have learned that I used to try and scare myself to see if I was "bad", a lot based on being degraded as a child.... then I think of my true being/true essence, and I go back to being calm...its weird how when you do not identify with your thoughts, and do not take them for YOU, and your truth, how it just fleets on by (if they seem scary , that is it..it is just fear.....not true you)......I'm not sure if this at all helped u, but i thought I could relate a bit....know you are truly fine/good..and hope u have a better night sleep;)
I have this same problem. I havebeen with my boyfriend for 6 months and at 4 months my anxiety kind of targeted him. I worry thats he's my anxiety problem but deep down I know hes not. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me about him. I hate it and I understand what you say about its hard to love someone when depressed. I feel you. Its hard and I hate it. My boyfriend treats me like a queen. But yes, I have experianced this and I currently am. I don't sleep either and I've lose almost 15 pounds.
I know exactly what you are going through. Me and my fiance had a bad fight last night because of my anxiety. He understands. He is there for me. You need to go to the doctor. I am going to go to the doctor myslef today because I cannot eat or sleep. I have to have someone with me 24-7 and that is not normal. I am nervous all the time my heart beats rapidly because of it. You need to go to a doctor and you neeed to pray! God Bless!