And the idiot, in this case, is ME! I'm so sorry for not having made a promot response -don't know how your post slipped by me. Boy, do I know that "what did I forget" feeling. And you'll find that others do, as well.
Regret and worry. I'm adding that to my collection of names for punk rock bands that don't exist and hopefully never will -the truht is that those words are the anxiety victim's mantra.
The short answer is, YES, a few consults with a professional (and I mean psychiatrist, NOT psxchologist) should prove helpful. And what you are feelings is -as you will discover- and exactly correct response to some buried conflicts which are acting like bulls in the emotional china shop.
Your edge, your advantage, is your very articulate way of understanding and discussing your own behavior and you obviously are quite self-aware -in touch with your feelings. Get the consult. Now, as much as you can, tell us something about how the LDR got started so far away, and why there is nothing closer.
But first ....
One of the BEST ways to get the most out of this forum to work is to JOIN it - become a part of it. Its easy -just click the Join Link -enter some profile information about yourself -even a picture if you care to- and anything you think would help us get to know you faster and better. You may also change this material whenever you like. You will also be accessible to receive private messages when other members click the name you've given yourself -sort of a "push to talk" feature. After you've done that, spend some time just using various features of the forum. For example, to see all the posts or responses that someone has made, just click their handle, go to their profile, click Posts, and read to your heart's content. You may also enter search terms -including member names- in the search box at the upper right of your screen and the system will retrun everything matching the term(s) you entered. This INCLUDES a drug database that will give you both user posts about drugs as well as the medical information about the drug. A great way to get quick answers about therapeutic effect, side effects, interactions, etc.
One of the profile categories is your mood, which you may change anytime you like.
Along the right side of your screen is a section of Recent Activity, which not only alerts you to new posts, but new ANYTHING, including journal entries and mood. This is a way to telegraph the community at large without actually creating a separate post. Thus, if you see a friend's mood has changed while you are working on a response or post, it can alert you to send them a private message to learn more or simply let them know you're thinking of them. Likewise, if you are going to be "out," you could enter something like "off line for the night" as your mood, and people would know you're away from the forum for awhile.
If you do this kind of exploring and experimenting right away, you'll be up-to-speed quickly. If you see the message you are reading now as part of a direct response I (or anyone) has made to one of your posts, it was probably copied and pasted from this journal. I hate form letters and auto-responses as much as anyone -but I also hate forgetting to tell people what they need to know, so this is my safety-net. Consider it as part of your "Welcome" kit. So -please join and try things out.
You might also want to read my entries for the "Right Click Trick" and "When in Haste, Use Copy 'n Paste" for some other convenient time-savers.
We're glad you are here!
Thank you for being so welcoming. And it's totally okay about not replying promptly. =]
About the ldr.. I met my boyfriend online around the age of 13. I talked to him pretty steady for years even though we both dated other people. Then about the beginning of my senior year of high school we promised to stay single and that we would wait for each other until we could meet. Then in September of 2007, he took a bus to Arkansas to come see me. It was love at first sight. I'm very happy with him.. when I'm actually with him. When we're apart, it gets hard at times but I guess relationships are. I feel very torn between trying to keep him happy and not feeling like I'm chosing my family over him and then trying to keep my family happy and not feeling like I'm deserting them.
And now that I think about it.. could this be some of those bulls in the emotional china shop?
About relationships closer.. I hear it occasionally from my parents and friends. There are plenty of boys Iocally.. but honestly I just feel like I've invested a whole lot of my time and effort into this relationship to just give up on it. I do love my boyfriend.