Why are you scared to stay on your meds if they help you? There is nothing wrong with needing medication to feel like you again. Are you just scared to take medications? Or were they causing severe side effects?
There are natural ways of dealing with this, including natural remedies, meditation and other relaxation techniques, exercise and therapy and dietary changes. It may be that only medication will help you, but there's a lot else out there to try. Start with a book called Natural Highs by Hyla Cass, a psychiatrist at UCLA who uses natural methods in her treatment. If you can find what's called a functional physician, a psychiatrist who still practices medicine and learns about natural methods of treatment as well, all the better. Good luck.