Aa
anxiolytic question
Im 14, I enjoy it when others are in pain physical or psychological, I lie because I like watching how the person will react, I like violence, weapons, watching others fight, I frighten and insult my mother to get her to do things, I like poking at peoples weaknesses even when others are watching, I know what I do is wrong but I do it impulsively and/or compulsively so I cant help it. I even tried to see if I could be disturbed (to comfirm that im a freak) by seeing videos / pictures of people dying in gruesome ways (beheadings for example) but I only laughed or shrugged it off. I dont feel like having other people knowing who I realy am when I go back to school so if I take anxiolytics will it make me be who I realy am? If I dont take anxiolytics, anxiety will cause me to be the target of bullies, but if I take them I feel IM going to be the bully. so would the anxiolytics just help my anxiety or will it also help me be me?
i think you really do need help and don't be afraid to ask for help.it's ok that you feel like that your not alone i mean, my mom has issues like that.she does alot of stuff and she dosen't care about any one else and she looks to do things that most people wouldn't do. she gets a thrill out of that kind of stuff.right now she does drugs been to jail too many times and she is on probation but she really just doesn't care. i think as a child she never had a bond with any one she got raped was in drugs her dad left when she was little and got a stepdad. her mother was very abusive an alcholic, her stepdad was abusive and when she got raped she came up pregnant and just went and got an abortion and didn't cry or anything.as she got older it got worse.she has almost died 3 different times.from drug overdose,was going to jump off a bridge just for a thrill thought it would be fun.she tried to drown me when i was little and let her brother rape me and got me into all kinds of trouble and just dissapeared,so your not alone other people feel like you to.
I can't refer to what I said earlier since it has been deleted.
I agree with Amphitrite and scaredjo. I believe I said you have the "potential" to be a serial killer but then maybe a lot of us do but don't act on it. What I did not say and should have was that if you are posting here, you probably are aware that you need help of some kind. There are a lot of people who post just to get attention although not that many in this forum.
The criteria for serial killers is not what I would call "scientific" and very few actually do ask for help. Not all bedwetters become serial killers or set fires. I do think, however, that you do need to talk to a therapist with whom you feel safe and uncomfortable and please tell him/her everything so you can get real help. It might take a while but it's worth it.
I agree with Amphitrite and scaredjo. I believe I said you have the "potential" to be a serial killer but then maybe a lot of us do but don't act on it. What I did not say and should have was that if you are posting here, you probably are aware that you need help of some kind. There are a lot of people who post just to get attention although not that many in this forum.
The criteria for serial killers is not what I would call "scientific" and very few actually do ask for help. Not all bedwetters become serial killers or set fires. I do think, however, that you do need to talk to a therapist with whom you feel safe and uncomfortable and please tell him/her everything so you can get real help. It might take a while but it's worth it.
Sorry if you feel distressed by how people reacted to your post. But that can happen because people found it disturbing and that was their reaction and they are human and entitled to it. But let me tell you some honest advice from someone who didn't react but was just concerned. Speak to the school psychiatrist. And have them refer you to a psychiatrist in general. I have schizoaffective disorder and I am fully recovered now with an experimental treatment in FDA study as I've put in many posts. But more importantly, I had the same kinds of feelings as a teenager before I took medication and I did many things that were destructive. I am not going to share what I did in posts here. But honestly, I'm the only one who can say at that time in my life I've been there so to speak. Sometimes its not only suicide that's a cry for help. Destructive acts can be too. But you don't know if they will spiral out of control and you may do something where ultimately you end up getting hurt. Go to the school psychiatrist and explain to them what's going on and they will follow up from there. As for the effects of prescriptions, worry about that after they diagnose you and decide what to prescribe. In actuality what they would give you might be a mood stabilizer or anti-psychotic, not anti-anxiety medication. And if those made you better able to relate to people and not have these feelings, then you would get along better with the other kids at school, not worse. But cross that bridge when you come to it. Seek help now before things get worse.
you seem very clued up for a 14 year old!! obviously you have deeply researched serial killers which to me isnt really normal for a kid your age, and you cant always believe statistics anyway. if you posted on this forum you are obviously looking for help and advice, we can give you the advice but only a trained doctor or therapist can actually help you. you need to sort this out
Hun, I just wanted to step in here and give you some advice. Well mostly advice you have already gotten but I think the more people agree upon something the more someone may take it into consideration.
You need to tell your psychiatrist everything you have said here and anything else that you think may be important. I want to be real with you and not sugar coat it because I don't think that's in your best interest and not what you want by asking strangers. My thoughts are when you ask people you don't know either way you want there honest thoughts, respectfully as possible of course.
What you are explaining could be very damaging to you as you get older. You're so young now that there is still time to work on these things, find out why you feel the ways you do and relearn ways to understand other peoples feelings. And although those things are possible it won't be easy. But the fact that you are even reaching out for advice tells me that you aren't sure the way you're feeling is okay with you deep down.
You have more of a tendancy to hurt other people because your not able to understand hurt or suffering in other people. If you see someone crying or suffering it doesn't register in your thoughts as compassion or understanding and you end up with the opposite reaction which is humor and intrege by that suffering.
Maybe your intereged because you yern to understand hurt and pain and what that feels like to others so you constantly set up situations that let you observe that.
But that's just an assumption on my part and either way doesn't make these things healthy to you or your getting older.
So please make sure you tell someone everything you've said here to us. It's so important for your own health and well being that you do.
Amph
You need to tell your psychiatrist everything you have said here and anything else that you think may be important. I want to be real with you and not sugar coat it because I don't think that's in your best interest and not what you want by asking strangers. My thoughts are when you ask people you don't know either way you want there honest thoughts, respectfully as possible of course.
What you are explaining could be very damaging to you as you get older. You're so young now that there is still time to work on these things, find out why you feel the ways you do and relearn ways to understand other peoples feelings. And although those things are possible it won't be easy. But the fact that you are even reaching out for advice tells me that you aren't sure the way you're feeling is okay with you deep down.
You have more of a tendancy to hurt other people because your not able to understand hurt or suffering in other people. If you see someone crying or suffering it doesn't register in your thoughts as compassion or understanding and you end up with the opposite reaction which is humor and intrege by that suffering.
Maybe your intereged because you yern to understand hurt and pain and what that feels like to others so you constantly set up situations that let you observe that.
But that's just an assumption on my part and either way doesn't make these things healthy to you or your getting older.
So please make sure you tell someone everything you've said here to us. It's so important for your own health and well being that you do.
Amph
umm im not a sexual sadist or attention seeker, to be honest i dont realy like attention all that much, before you say im going to be a serial killer you need to read about them.
i stopped wetting the bed at 8, 60% of serial killers wet the bed after 12, i dont care about fire, serial killers are fascinated by fire, i dont like sadomasochism pornography while serial killers usualy do, i have never tried to kill myself while serial killers usualy do alot, i havent ever been in an institution while most serial killers have as children, i have never been abused in any way while serial killers have been, i dont hate my parents i just dont care about them while serial killers hate their parents, and i am not white the majority of serial killers are white. i believe i have just as much of a chance as killing someone as the next, including you, only i wouldnt feel remorse and you would be tormented for the rest of your life.
i stopped wetting the bed at 8, 60% of serial killers wet the bed after 12, i dont care about fire, serial killers are fascinated by fire, i dont like sadomasochism pornography while serial killers usualy do, i have never tried to kill myself while serial killers usualy do alot, i havent ever been in an institution while most serial killers have as children, i have never been abused in any way while serial killers have been, i dont hate my parents i just dont care about them while serial killers hate their parents, and i am not white the majority of serial killers are white. i believe i have just as much of a chance as killing someone as the next, including you, only i wouldnt feel remorse and you would be tormented for the rest of your life.
thank you mungi and yeah im going to visit her again i think on monday, if i dont meet her on monday then its just when my anti anxiety and depression meds are ready. scaredjo i havent told my parents or doctor, and im not planning on telling either because if i tell my doctor he will tell my mom, if i tell my mom she will tell my brother and grandma, my grandma will tell everyone in the family, and you get what will happen, ill be treated like the oddball, they already think im strange since im so gloomy, i dont think it will be necessary for them to know everything.... and kalmkidd how would i get help? if there is a way to change someones sense of humor i think i would have to be pretty much brainwashed...
wow i have a 14 yr old son and his hang ups are a looking at girls!!! im not judging you wotonito when did you reaslise this stuff gave you a buzz? if i can call it that? i think you do need to get to the bottom of why this stuff doesnt sadden you, i know teenagers get into fights and laugh it off thats life but you really shouldn`t be watching beheadings.
anti anxiety meds will not make you the target of bullies who will know your taking them? have you talked to your parents, do they know whats going on? i hope you get the help you want my advice would be to go to a doctor and tell them EXACTLY how you feel sooner rather than later
anti anxiety meds will not make you the target of bullies who will know your taking them? have you talked to your parents, do they know whats going on? i hope you get the help you want my advice would be to go to a doctor and tell them EXACTLY how you feel sooner rather than later
you dont need to "fit it in"... you need to just come out with it! are you going to see her again? if so, i would go in and say "before we start talking about anxiety, i need to talk to you about someothing that is very important going on with me" and just say it! she is there to help you... so let her do it!
but last week i went to a psychiatrist for anxiety, i dont know how im suposed to fit this into the conversation since she was just talking about anxiety
Well first of all, I seriously think you should seek counseling. I think it's great that you realize that "enjoying seeing others in pain" is not quite right...
I think that you do have some sort of chemical imbalance, and that makes you someone you really aren't. So if you truly want to be "yourself" I would go on any meds taht your doctor suggests and let them help remedy your imbalance.
Also, make sure to tell your doctor or counselor about all of these feelings, I would tell them EVERYTHING that you said in this post so that they can best help you be the great person you are capable of!
Good luck!
I think that you do have some sort of chemical imbalance, and that makes you someone you really aren't. So if you truly want to be "yourself" I would go on any meds taht your doctor suggests and let them help remedy your imbalance.
Also, make sure to tell your doctor or counselor about all of these feelings, I would tell them EVERYTHING that you said in this post so that they can best help you be the great person you are capable of!
Good luck!
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