You have encountered this problem at the wrong time in history, unfortunately. There was a time not so long ago when Xanax would have been recommended for you. Not now. Benzos are addictive, and if you think quitting drinking is hard, and it is, don't try stopping benzos if you're addicted to them. On the other hand, you can take them in a way they are not addictive, which is to only take them as needed, not on a daily basis. Unfortunately, because you have proven you weren't able to do that with alcohol, you're stuck. If you had only taken a drink or two when you needed it, you wouldn't have developed liver disease from it, assuming it is from drinking and not from, say, chronic use of medications such as statins or acetaminophen or a host of others. Doesn't matter, you do have to quit drinking no matter the cause once you have liver problems, but again, if you have been determined to be an alcoholic, you will have a hard time getting any controlled substance because we're now in a recurring phase of great caution with addictive substances due to the opioid "epidemic." I'm guessing if you shop around, however, you can find a psychiatrist who might just give you a very small amount of a benzo, though it might not be Xanax, they like clonazepam these days, but again, a very small amount you can't refill often enough to get addicted to it. They did used to use benzos to help recovering addicts, so again, times change. I wish I had not been put on benzos for my anxiety, however, to take twice a day many years ago. I wish it had been as needed or just rely on the antidepressant which I was also put on at the same time, which is also not very logical since you'd think, in hindsight, that it might be best to see if one drug works before they put you on two of them. If you have a chronic anxiety problem, therapy is the best first choice. The alcohol obviously did not solve your problem, did it? Neither will benzos or antidepressants, they, like alcohol, can only mitigate the symptoms. Therapy, when it works, is a cure. But if that doesn't work for you, along with all the usual things you can try that don't involve drugs, such as exercise, meditation, hypnosis, lifestyle changes, job changes, geographic changes, relationship changes, etc., you might think about talking to a psychiatrist about antidepressants. While they are as hard to stop taking as addictive drugs for many people and have their problems as do all drugs taken regularly, they are not classified as addictive and therefore are much easier to get than controlled substances. By way, benzos can make you pretty sleepy too, especially when they wear off -- they do not give long lasting relief. When antidepressants work for anxiety, they work all the time. As for irritation and sadness, alcohol and benzos make that worse in the long term. My advice? Try to actually fix the problem, which means therapy. If that doesn't work for you, though, inquire about antidepressants. Peace.
This group forum talks about anxiety disorder. I agree that often drinking alcohol and taking opiates or benzodiazepine temporarily help. But the key word is temporary. Addiction and mental health issues go hand in hand. Most doctors won't give a controlled substance to someone who is fighting alcoholism for the same reasons they say they drank. This puts you in a bind and I do really feel for you because this is hard. If you weren't taught actual coping skills for the things that make you want to drink, what do you do when this happens? Psychotherapy could be helpful. And I know you won't want to hear this but addiction help. There are different levels to rehabilitation from residential to inpatient to outpatient to just going to meetings. It helps to know your triggers and to eliminate them too. Are these things you'd consider at all? Do you have family?