depersonalization

[i_am_who_i_am]

I am having a struggle right now. I have been going through depersonalization for the past couple of weeks because I began taking my meds again and this is a side effect in the beginning. But whats upsetting me is it literally seems like I dont recgonize myself in the mirror. My face looks different to me. No one else thinks my face looks different but to me it does. its frightening. I keep checking to see if it looks familiar again but it dosent. I didnt think depersonalization would literally make you not recgonize yourself. I knew it can give you this feeling of not being connected to yourself in the mirror but to literally make you appear different to yourself. I keep telling myself that maybe I have just gained weight in my face or something thats making me look different but its not helping. Has anyone else here had depersonalization that made them appear different to themselves in the mirror not just disconnected to your imagae but to actually seem to look different in some way?

[MatthewDeMateo]

I have been suffering from DP for about six months, and it is the worst thing I have experienced in my life.  My story is a little different in that I didn't experience it until a doctor switched me from Prozac that I had taken for years and tried a bunch of other medications.  Then I tried to taper off of everything.  Everything just made the DP progressively worse.  So, I started taking Prozac again 4 days ago.  I know it will take 2,3,4 weeks for me to know if it is going to work which feels like forever because I pretty much don't leave my room 24/7.  So I was wondering, how you have been doing.

[i_am_who_i_am]

Thanks for your reply. I wish the dp symptoms would go away. They for me are the worst part of my ocd. Its so scarry. I have had this experience before but not to the point where I literally feel like my face looks completely different. Im sure the more I think about it the worse it seems but its so hard. Its causeing me to feel depressed because I dont want to feel this way. And now when I go to the mirror I dont even have to focus to see if my face looks different it just looks different as soon as I look. I am going to try to avoid the checking because I am hoping if I can stop focusing so much it will go away.

[nursegirl6572]

Yes, that is common in DP.  I have personally struggled more with derealization when my anxiety was at its peak, so while a little different, I know just how distressing these symptoms are,  What's important to remember is they are just that, symptoms.  Symptoms of anxiety, and even the meds, like you mentioned.  They are NOT harmful in any way, and while super upsetting, they will gradually dissipate.  As hard as it is, try VERY hard NOT to focus on the symptoms, the very best thing is to try to busy yourself, distract yourself as much as possible, which will help with the anxiety as well.  First thing, try very hard to stop looking in the mirror.  I know you are looking for some reassurance by the need to keep "checking" what you look like, but if the skewed image is the same, or would even worsen, it is only going to serve to distress you more.  It's only a perception caused by your brain.  Others around you have told you that you look the same, they wouldn't lie.  Heck, if you have to...cover the mirrors all together.

I feel for you...I hated the DR symptoms almost more than the anxiety itself at times.  It was very annoying and upsetting, but it will get better with time.  Therapy can be helpful with the symptoms...it always made me feel better to have my therapist tell me that these were normal and common symptoms in anxiety sufferers.

Hang in there....we're here for you!