feeling bad after beating depression and anxiety

[mozingo_todd]

I was diagnosed with sever depression and anxiety about a year and a half ago directly after spine surgery.  I took Lexapro for a while increased dosage twice then added Seroquil and increased its dosage 3 times.  After a few months  gaining all the weight I had lost back(nearly 40 pounds) I tapered off all the meds.  I have recently had knee surgery and a Gel One injection.  I thought my health problems were behind me.  Two months later I find myself nervous all the time.  I have restless nights not being able to stay asleep.  I started back smoking.  I find myself unable to relax without drinking too much.  I have aches and pains all over.  I am week.  I have lost about 30 pounds again.  I feel anxious and irritable all the time.  My hands are shaky.  My mind and heart races at times.  I am having some panic attacks, although not as frequently as I used to.  My wife was very helpful the first time I was battling this and pain pill dependence.  This time she seems distant and depressed herself.  I am under a great deal of work and family stress.  Those two stresses are intertwined as we are in family business.  I really don't want to get back on meds but willing to try anything.  Any ideas?  

[mozingo_todd]

They make me sleepier than I already was.  But yea I need something.  The panic attacks are getting more frequent again.  Going to my doc soon.

[coney1]

You need meds for anxiety & depression !

[michigan07]

It's time if you haven't yet to see a good therapist or psychiatrist. Smoking and exp drinking will just make matters worse and cause dependence on those substances. My thoughts are whenever something is bad enough that it is interfering with your ability to function on a daily basis is when it's time to seek help. If medication for anxiety is needed don't feel bad about taking it or if therapy is needed don't feel bad about that either. To me it's no different than a diabetic needing insulin.