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feeling dead

I am a mother of a 19year old male who appears to be tortured. I have tried to get him help from my gp and he has been referred to the additions team for alcohol problem. The doctor told him if he gives up the alcohol (drinks friday and saturday nights most weekends)all his problems will go away. I disagree as he is extremely anxious and aggresive and will fly of the handle throughout the day (everyday)for the smallest of things example dropping an ice cube. Even his dog that he loves and is good to he threatens verabaly. He has not told the doctor about his thoughts because he thinks that he will be locked up and no matter how much I try to help him discuss these thoughts he won't. What he has said is he doesn't feel real, it's as if he's living in a bubble, feels dead, paranoid all the time, angry doesnt know why, doesn't sleep much, when he closes his eyes it's as if they are still open, with friends he doesn't know what they have said cause his thoughts won't let him concentrate to listen. I ask was it thoughts are voices and he said it's thoughts, feels like throwing the rope up and all his problems will be gone and he won't be a problem anymore to us. A friend of his (female) commited suicide in November and he was extremely distressed as he and friends had all been out the previous night with her and he said she was happy laughing and hugging and kissing him. He has had these feeling's for nearly two years and is finding it harder to control himself . He has already got into trouble with the police (i had to call them as he was uncontrolable and damaged my car, he had drink ie no more than 8pints) because of his behaviour. When they responsed he was out of control and they ask if he had mental health problems. He did not settle as we tried to reason with him, his mood went from laughing to crying and then he became extremely aggresive making threats to them and me. He was taken into custody and they communicated with me as I was afraid that if left alone he may harm himself. His dad and I intend going to the doctor to inform him of this which I had previously informed him regarding damaging car and having to get police etc. What support should I be asking for. I am wiling to pay to have him seen by a psychiatrist (he has already said he needs to see one and I wonder if he feels that he is the only person who will understand him as he felt the gp was not wanting to help as he kept looking at his watch and blamed everything on alcohol, in fairness the gp is not aware of some of his feelings) but the doctor would have to make the referral.
I would appreciate some guidance, I have knowledge of some forms of mental health (severe mental health) and know he needs help and we want to get him help and hopefully see the loving caring side that we have not seen in a long time.
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Avatar universal
I defintely think he needs to see a therapist and he is willing so I would stop stalling and get that appt. set today. Teenagers can be very angry, frustrated people due to the social clicks and the fact that kids are cruel and say very harsh things. The feeling of needing to fit in somewhere and the stress of trying to do well in school can be bringing all of this to a head. I have a brother-n-law and when he was in school he was a very angry person much of what your son does, he did also just flying off the handle for apparently no reason. The other advice I have for you and your husband is make him feel needed and loved and I am sure you do but try and throw a little extra at him. Also try and get out and do something fun as a family that can maybe take his mind off those thoughts for a while. If he wants to ask him to come on here and talk to us, I find that this place is great therapy for me just getting to talk and share my experiences and listening to others. Good Luck and keep us posted
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Avatar universal
I am also 19yrs old, at the beginning of this page i honestly though you were my mother.  This is not un-common, however i do have to ask if there was any abuse in his early childhood?  alot of mine stemmed from childhood trauma.

I saw my school psychologist all through my senior year of highschool.  She helped me alot just by being there to listen.  Honestly he will not get any-better unless he's willing to help himself, it seems as though he recognizes a problem and that he knows it needs to be fixed, however he cannot do it on his own.  He seems willing, i suggest you do seek a psychologist or psychiatrist.  I would also suggest trying a treatment not involving drugs at first.

I still suffer from mood swings, from thoughts racing through my head like bee's so much so that i can't take it.  I get panic attacks and mood swings, i drink on weekends, and used to do worse things until i realized they were causing even worse behavior.
I can honestly say it just helped to have a person other than my parents or friends sit down and talk with me, it took awhile to open up but i felt as though i could trust her, and she was very kind.  That teenage angst is a hard thing to control...
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Arlington, VA
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