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Avatar universal

god give me the strength to go through this, could this be anxiety

im suffering from really bad anxiety towards HIV. ive had unprotected sex this year more the 5 times with different guys. all guys from my neighbor hood and i still talk to mostly all of them except for one. he deleted off all social network but i think he did that after i saw him at a party and i ignored him. i've been going through alot of pain and ive gotten tested already twice first time 3 weeks after my last exposure and 13 weeks after. both test negative. im going again in 13 weeks. ive been having really bad headaches, chest pains, lower back pains, jaw pain at a point, my hands hurts alot feeling like pins and needles or sometimes i get joint or muscles pains on my arms, ive also have really itchy tonsils and tonsil stones, my throat doesnt hurt but i did get the flu back in May and i felt like i couldnt breath but i also have asthma.my lymph nodes did hurt at that time and i got a sore throat. my skin has been very sensitive. im  not itchy though i just bruise easliy or maybe i always have but i just noticed. i also got a yeast infection. i feel like something in my throat is swollen. maybe my lymph nodes. last night i went  to sleep stressed out i had a night sweat. but also back in feburary i started having really bad leg pain like on my hip shooting done all the way to my knee,bone pain. it started off everytime i was resting and now its everytime i stand for a long time, or walk alot. its pain that wakes me up in the  middle of the night. i cry at times. ive had exrays done and MRI's done. they havent found anything. im having another MRI done on my knee and lower back. i feel like somethings not right. i looked up what it could be luekemia also popped up. somewhat similiar symtoms too HIV. headaches, swollen lymph nodes, fatigue ,weakness, loss of appetite , weight loss, night sweats, bone and joint pain, abdominal discomfort. ive had all of these symtoms except no puking or diarhea. i dont think ive had fever. i had physical though and everything came out ok on my red and white blood cells count. i dont understand whats happening is this all anxiety have i been infected, have i infected others, i just want to know so i can start taking care of myself. i dont feel right, i just want to know if im ok. my mother thinks im crazy, my friends are tired of hearing it, idk what to do, i broke with my boyfriend but theres just soo much going on in my head. ive only had unprocted sex with him once and made get checked , he came out negative on everything apparenlty. ive done alot of bad things but it does not make me a bad person, ive made alot mistakes in my life, i know gods not going to let me go through anything i cant handle. im a strong women only 21 years old i'll be 22 this year.im going to love my life reguardless of what happens. i cant let any of this destroy me. i need be strong for my mom and dad and especially for myself. i keep dreaming of my dad. i feel soo ashamed of just my actions yet i dont stop. i've had problems throughtout my whole life. i was molested 2 times by 2 different cousins. one at the age 5 that was an everyday thing. and another time when my family took a trip to chicago my 14 year old cousin wouldnt stop, i was only 8. those are things that have scarred me for years. i feel like im a sexual person because of that. i feel like i dont care about myself enough. i was raised with a meth head uncle. my parents got divorced when i was 5. i moved alot with my mom and brother,we all shared the same bed for years. life was hard and i feel like im not making it any better. i think about everything ive done wrong in my life, everyday and i ask god just give me the patients to keep moving foward. i want to be a hairstylist, i want to own my own shop, i want to find someone that im going to spend the rest of my life with, i want kids and a nice home, i want to be a good mother. i feel like i've destroyed all of that. i wont ever get to experience any of that, if im sick.
9 Responses
Avatar universal
if you tested negative 13 weeks after your last exposure you are FINE. Means you are 110% negative.  Anxiety can cause night sweats. I don't care what anybody says. When my anxiety is high I get them. It can cause diahrea  joint pain. Everything you listed pretty much. Have you thought about getting help for your anxiety?? Or talk to anybody about the other stuff you listed?
I can tell you this. If you tested negative after 13 weeks you are negative. FACT
Avatar universal
Plus you have been to the doctors and had more tests then I've had in years. Everything came back good! Focus on that. Everything has came back to show you are healthy. Anxiety can convince you that you are dying. Or you will "know" you have a disease. When really it's just anxiety. It's a pain in the ***. Medication and a good doctor helped me a ton. I'm not telling you to get on medication. But maybe talk to your doctor about anxiety.
Avatar universal
Your 13 weeks negative test prooves that you are hiv negative.Every symptom that you described can be caused by prolonged anxiety and stress.I have experienved every one of those symptoms my self and even more.I tested negative at 4,8,12 weeks and again at 6 months.That not only proves that you can have every symptom in the book being caused by anxiety but also that 4 weeks tests are very very accurate.Imagine how acurate is a test done at 13 weeks.It is very deficult to accept it but you dont have anything to worry about regarding to hiv.I have been in your place and experience everything that you say.Maby you could try to talk to a psychologist.It has helped me a lot with my hiv anxiety.
Avatar universal
thats what everyone is telling me but i feel like after 6 months it more accurate plus ive been having pain in my lower mid back and abdominal pain. it feels brusied. my ribs feel bruised a well. all this pain can really be due to anxiety. thats crazy.i wanna stop sressing out but its super hard.
Avatar universal
It could be a psychosomatic reaction of your body.It can be lots of things.The only thing it cant be its hiv because you have been tested negative.3 months is 100% accurate unless you have cancer in terminal status or have got a transplant recenteley.
Avatar universal
Well isn't 13 weeks like a 2 months and half? Cause the last person I did it was probably a little after May 10th or before and I got tested on July 22. That's like 2 months and like 2 weeks or almost 3 weeks thAts about almost 12 to 13 weeks right?
Avatar universal
I just checked it was 10 to 11 weeks after not 13 . I did the math
Avatar universal
It doesent really matter if it was 11 weeks or 12.If your test was to be positive it would have been.You can allways test again but it would be pointless since your previous test was negative.You dont have to worry about hiv.I know that thinking over this again and again makes you think that will magically make it better..but it is the exact oposite.If you keep thinking and analysing it it will make you more anxious and will make you fear things that are not even possible.Let it go and go on with your life you don't have anything to fear regardless to hiv.
Avatar universal
Thanx for the advise
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