hiv anxiety

[jworried54j]

I posted a few months ago on the hiv forum and also paid to ask dr. Hhh a question.  I had a one time moment of infidelity at a strip club in houston. I got very drunk and ended up having sex with a stripper.  We used a condom she gave me. I told my wife about it we worked things out. I quit drinking and she forgave me. She told me since I had used a condom that there would be no risk for us to have sex. She is also breastfeeding my baby. I started to get scared so iwent to my dr. And got a full std check at 9 weeks. Everything negative. The nurse told me that hiv could take years to show up. But I talked with my dr. And he said it would have shown up by then and also that there was almost no risk.  He told me to stop worrying and move on. The same thing was told to me by dr.hhh.I did for a while until I started reading on the internet about all these people becoming infected when using condoms. Also so many different stories about people not testing positive until a year after exposures. No I am back into panic mode. My dr. Stsnds firm about me not needing another test and gave me a big lecture on how hard hiv is to catch. But I still cannot let go of this fear.

[jworried54j]

Nursegirl I was hoping u may have some advice on how to let go of this.

[jworried54j]

I have friends that do this exact thing all the time and they never get anything and I am not the least bit concerned for their safety. They have told me that I have nothing to worry about but I can't get the thought of it out of my mind

[jworried54j]

I am trying so hard to let go of my fear. I just made one stupid mistake I'm just scared that I will pay for it the rest of my life.

[Vance2335]

Well a therapist is probably going to be best to help you overcome this fear. Whatever you are reading online are lies. People don't test positive after 1 year, they don't even test positive after 6 months. And people who use condoms don't get HIV. They either lie about the exposure or the condom broke.

[jworried54j]

Yes I have always had a lot of anxiety. Part of this particular fear is probably from the fact that I have never done anything like this before. I was an alcoholic for a long time. After doing this I completely quit drinking.  I completely changed my life because of this. Started going to church.  Things are better now between my wife and I. But I just have this lingering fear that 10 yrs from now we will be dying from this disease. And it will be because of what I did

[cj29]

Health anxiety is quite common in this community.  The good thing is your doctor is correct...it is hard to catch HIV and you used protection anyways.  Do you think you still feel guilty about this?  Have you had anxiety issues in the past?  Have you been able to talk to a counselor about your anxiety issues with this?

There are also numerous take home HIV tests as well at local pharmacies, but I would tend to agree with your doctor.  You checked out clear and you used protection.  Remember that you can find anything on the internet to validate a fear no matter how irrational that fear may be.  For me, counseling helped me with my health anxiety....keep us posted.