Avatar universal

hiv anxiety

well lets begin describing my exposure:
it was oral sex with random guy where i tasted pre** since it was my forst gay experience the same night it came in my mind HIV and i was shsme of what i did my worries increased in the next morning when i woke up with night sweat which lasted over 2 weeks with chills during the third day i jad exrremely dry mouth which developed to tongue thrush and here where i wished to die or suicide when i read it is sigh of hiv then o found this website and i asked in the forum about my exposure and all members keep telling me it is zero but i was so anxious and i was reading all posts even old ones of 2004 untill now and during the 6 weeks i had panic attack and went for test and thankfully it was negative and i continued testing untill the 13 week i had 4 test all were negative. after that i felt confident but now after 7 months i still had mild case of thrush not going away every time i look at my tongue i get back to the posts and i forget about my tests results and i get back to the start point of my worries i cant get this scare from my mind
3 Responses
Avatar universal
Thrush is a very common infection.  Your main problem appears to be either anxiety about your sexuality or guilt over your sexuality.  That's probably where you want to focus your attention before this becomes a chronic anxiety problem.  You might consider a therapist if you can't solve this on your own.  By the way, the tongue looks white a lot, it isn't always thrush.  Are you getting diagnosed for that?  
i got diagonsed by 2 doctoes one said it is coated tongue the second said it is indeed thrush,a and yes i feel so guilty about the incidence.
You were advised in Feb that you don't have hiv but you have ignored that advice because of your fear and continue to post about it as if you had a risk, because you are in a rut where the only science you believe in is your own made up science fiction theory. This has been going on for 2 months or more, so you need to see the therapist instead of living with all this agony for no reason, and posting on forums thinking something will happen on a forum to change your life. You are the one who has to take a step toward progress - no one here can do that for you.
Avatar universal
"worriedanxi" The answer is that the real reason of your fear is still remain. What occurred with the risk-act it was a consequence of a decision taken by you. You wanted to keep control on all the circumstances, but something went wrong.  Happily you are healthy Forget about.
Now you need to find the cause of you concerning, it could be something related to your  expectations in life, to your moral principles... Think what you really want in life and go for it.
Do not expose anymore to situations like your first bad experience because they will cause you more and more crisis of anxiety which only damage your health and do not allow you to use your time in a more efficient way for reaching your goals.
Avatar universal
thank you everybody i decided to get over that i am seeing a doctor now for tongue issue and he also forwarded me to psychotherapist. for the past several months i could not progress in my life i stopped studying and i become zero productive in my job after i was promoted just after the incident so i was loosing everything even i got married 2 months ago and i could not be happy and sleep with my wife because of fear.
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