thank you everybody i decided to get over that i am seeing a doctor now for tongue issue and he also forwarded me to psychotherapist. for the past several months i could not progress in my life i stopped studying and i become zero productive in my job after i was promoted just after the incident so i was loosing everything even i got married 2 months ago and i could not be happy and sleep with my wife because of fear.
"worriedanxi" The answer is that the real reason of your fear is still remain. What occurred with the risk-act it was a consequence of a decision taken by you. You wanted to keep control on all the circumstances, but something went wrong. Happily you are healthy Forget about.
Now you need to find the cause of you concerning, it could be something related to your expectations in life, to your moral principles... Think what you really want in life and go for it.
Do not expose anymore to situations like your first bad experience because they will cause you more and more crisis of anxiety which only damage your health and do not allow you to use your time in a more efficient way for reaching your goals.
Thrush is a very common infection. Your main problem appears to be either anxiety about your sexuality or guilt over your sexuality. That's probably where you want to focus your attention before this becomes a chronic anxiety problem. You might consider a therapist if you can't solve this on your own. By the way, the tongue looks white a lot, it isn't always thrush. Are you getting diagnosed for that?