how to accept husband's new motorcycle

[anxiousallie]

My 52 yr. old husband recently bought a motorcycle and just loves riding it. He's currently on a ten day "bike" trip with some of his guy friends.
I worry daily that something will happen to him on that thing.  I was raised in a family where the dangers of motrocycle riding were strongly emphasized.


Any suggestions for ways I can calm down,learn to accept this?  He refuses to take it back.

[fltricia]

When I was dating I didn't mind if my boyfriend had a bike.  My friend made her husband get rid of hers and I thought she was being naggy.  Now my fiance has one and I worry everytime he wants to ride the damn thing.   Make sure he wears a helmet and tell him to make sure to watch for idiot drivers!  Let him know if something were to happen to him it would kill you.  Hopefully he will get the picture and not ride too much.

[anxiousallie]

Thanks for your input.  I appreciate it!  Still am having major trouble accepting the motorcycle.  There was yet another article in the paper today about motorcycle fatalities being on the rise,especially in his age group.
I also feel some resentment toward my husband for not putting my fears ahead of his need for  "motorcycle fun.'"  He is a stubborn,stubborn man but I love him and was hoping to grow old with him and now fear we won't be able to do that.  I told him if the situation were reversed and he was afraid of something I wanted to do and asked me to stop,I would stop.
If I make even a small request like please don't ride it late at night,he gets very angry(but does comply with the request).
Any other ideas for me?  Thanks!

[crackedglass]

Guys and their toys!!! Well, not all men (a nod to Silverberg and my husband for example) but seems a large portion, enjoy motorcycle riding. I prefer horses, which are equally dangerous on busy country roads. Fact is most accidents happen at home, in the bathroom I think...yet I've never met anyone who was worried about a non-disabled person going into the bathroom. Let him ride! If it makes him happy and keeps him active in an interesting way, not just jogging on a treadmill or exercising without a thrill, he's more likely to be healthy, too.

[silverberg]

my partner was in a motorcycle accident before we was together over 5 years ago, he was on vacation looking at the mountains while on his bike and lost control, he was ok and has a scar on his back next to tatto that says "JOurney Forward"  (go figure) anyway, I honestly do not think he is good at driving a car (my problem) but now he is considering getting a motorcycle as he met some guys in a motorcycle club, these last 5 years we have lived in Nebraska and alot of open land, but I said no motorcycle, It would drive me cazy!

Now we live in San diego (drivers here are crazy)!  he is considering getting a motorcycle after meeting friends who bike, whats funny I have just finished CBT and I have been Panic free for 7 months. but I feel it also gave me the knowledge to accept that, yes I am worried about him, but the bottom line is he is an adult and has gotten thru life this long, So yes,  I don't like it, but bottom line it's his choice! acceptance! most important when your husband gets back, all will be ok and this you can grow from and understand its ok to worry about a loved one, but remember to keep it in order!