losing control

[goingoverboard]

I am not sure where to start. I have developed an intense fear of getting sick and it is taking over my life.

Here is an example.

Today I was so  sure the glass I was trying to drink out of was covered in germs that I washed it for a good five minutes. After I washed it, I drank a glass of water really fast. It seemed like the water tasted funny, so I started to panic, thinking maybe I hadn't gotten all of the soap out, and drinking soapy water was somehow going to make me sick.

So I filled up the glass with water and tried to smell it, to see if it smelled soapy. I couldn't tell, so I filled up another one and tried to smell that one. I couldn't really tell the difference so I started going back and forth, sniffing each one.

During all of the water glass smelling, I guess I got my nose too close to one of the glasses, and I sniffed some water up my nose. This made me even more worried, so I got on the internet and searched for the dangers of inhaling water.

I read a story about something called secondary drowning, where water aspirated into the lungs damages them. This has me terrified, and I am not too sure what to do about it.  This is my immediate concern, getting over the fear that my lungs are going to somehow stop working from breathing in a little water.

My other concern, and what should probably be my main concern, is that this is nothing new; I have these sorts of episodes all of the time. I get scared that I am going to die from something strange on a regular basis, and it is happening more and more frequently.

Any help or advice is much appreciated, and thanks for taking the time to read my story.

[goingoverboard]

Well I went to the doctor a couple of days ago and he thinks I have OCD. He referred me to a psychiatrist and gave me a prescription for an antidepressant. I hope it helps, things have been so difficult lately.

[peacetiff]

I would tell you about some of my irrational fears, but if you are like me then you would take my fears and turn them into your own. I don't want to compound the problem. But I total understand what you are saying you know that these things can't hurt you but
the intrusive thoughts just won't let them go. Over the years now I don't really have those anymore I just have a fear of having another panic attack. The Doctor is really the first stop of the journey, after that I would look into trying to get some therapy

[goingoverboard]

Thanks for the reply. I completely understand what you are saying.

It's like I already know these things aren't going to hurt me, yet I get scared and panic over them anyway.

To add to this story, as I was searching the internet for possible things that could happen by snorting up some water, I read about brain eating amoebas. They live in freshwater lakes and ponds and get in your body through your nose.  This really caused me to panic, and I am actually still really scared about it.

I know tap water is treated and there shouldn't be any way there are amoebas in tap water, but I can't shake the idea that they might possibly have been in the water. It is a scary thought that irrational behavior may lead to a death sentence.

I guess I really need to see a psychiatrist asap.