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Avatar universal

new and afraid..

hi all..i'm new in here..been a sufferer for 2yrs..
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506490 tn?1213431764
bump-a-roo
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299912 tn?1341623100
A little birdie told me that your story and mine have a lot of similarities, and even though I only have garnered a small bit of info about you, I can say with certainty that they probably do - in fact we all do, to be honest, the only thing that really hones it in to being more closely related is age, background, etc. To start with, since you are short on time, as I find myself nowadays is to visit my profile and read my background as well as clicking on some of my posts to others (under posts in my profile). I bet you will find that we are very much alike. I will not address too many things here that you have not brought up yet and will leave that up to you and respond accordingly. But I can tell you that the health anxiety that you have is without a doubt one of the biggest symptoms that I had (and still have to a point). But you see, I myself have healed through both my own determinition, struggle, work, and God (guess that one should have gone first!) after having extreme anxiety and panic for nearly 8 years. The first few years were a horror to say the least.

I used to be very social and when I started getting the anxiety and panic, I would withdraw, afraid of myself and how others would see me - generally overall embarassed. This greatly impacted my emotional stability. I was on several different medicines when I first started getting panic/GAD (Effexxor, Tofranil, and Atavan - then Xanax). While these did the trick at first, it soon became a burden both in cost and bc of the fact that I simpy did not like taking medicine - I never have and still do not like it. I eventuall stopped taking the effexxor (probably one of the smartest things I have ever done) and continued to take xanax, but only on an as needed basis.

See this illness is like a broken leg (yes, to all that have seen this before, here it goes again, but hey I think it proves a good point! :)  ). When you first get one, you need to take coping actions, such as pain killers and a cast to help you through the initial part. However, those things alone will not heal you fully. One you are out of the cast taking medicine will not get you back to the way you were before - you need rehabilitation for it. Same with anxiety and panic, medicine is something to help you not feel as though you are losing your mind long enough (which may be a long time for some folks) to get your mind around ways to rehabilitate yourself from it.

No matter how uttlerly hopeless and how severe you feel the symptoms are - this is merely an overaction of the adrenaline gland and hormones on your sympathetic nervous system and there is a limit to the severity that it can be. More than likely, since it has been 2 years, you have already experienced that max (and looked you survived that!). Now, you may not THINK that it can't get any worse, but usually it does not. Now, time is what makes it seem worse.

Have you ever heard of the cycle of fear before? In case you have not, I will share, as this is the number one reason people cannot get rid of this GAD and panic so easily.

So, you have your first panic attack. Scary stuff - this makes you anxious, afraid something is seriously wrong with you and also afraid of having another panic attack - well this causes anxiety which causes more panic and anxiety and so on and so on. So, as you can see this is a viscious circle that is hard to stop. So, essentially, it is not the things or situation in life that we are afraid of - it truely is the fear itself. So, and this is a bit controversial among some folks here, but it is not medicine or even therapy that help rid you of this anxiety and panic, it is your OWN self. Now, that is not to say that meds and therapy do not have its place - I mean I had both for many years and without them I would not have made it this far. However, if one is relying on those things alone to cure them, they will be disappointed. It is ALL in the way you think and I know that right now, you think that you could not possibly feel better, that you are going to be this way forever, or that you are "going crazy". This is simply not true at all. It all takes time, patience, determination, and hope - some you may have, others you may not. Oh, and sanity is not a prerequisite :). So, I will leave it at that for now, and I will send you a friend invite and you can PM me if you wish. However, I recommend you post as much as you feel comfortable doing in the forum itself. There really is power in numbers. If I tell you these things, okay that is just one guy, right? Exception to the rule? Hardly, you will find that nearly everyone on here can reassure you that I am not the exception! Good luck and I know that you can do it. I NEVER thought I could (and my doctor even told me that I would probably have this the rest of my life - proved him wrong and it was just a matter of his lack of understanding of the illness. In fact, the last visit I had he did not charge me because most of the time was spent with me schooling him on this same information.

Mike
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey
I'm new here as well. Sounds like we have the hypochondriac type symptoms in common! I have the brain tumor, heart scares...
Hope all goes well for you,
Jackie
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi All, I'm new here, I too suffer from anxiety and also IBS I've had this for years. I have taken paxil for  anxiety for 7 months years ago, I gain so much weight,  I quit cold turkey and suffered electrical volts in head for 2 weeks. 6 years ago I was having trouble sleeping doc put me on amitriptiline 10 mg well that didn't do squat, so he raised it 25 mg it worked for 5 years and stopped working so he raised it to 50, big mistake. Now everytime I try to wean off I get a sick stomach and flu like symptoms along with feeling like I have a cold. I hate the weight gain also, this makes my anxieties even worse knowing i feel trapped on this medicine. Doc was gonna put me on buspar cause I asked him about it and I am too chicken to start on it, it isn't an anti-deppresent which is fine for me but will it work for anxiety has anyone tried this stuff?
Helpful - 0
409760 tn?1271037972
Congrats on your courage!! Prayer is REAL good! I haven't ever lived without it. Keep on coming back and letting us know your progress! Hang in there!

God Bless and go in Peace
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506490 tn?1213431764
The amount of support, encouragement, love & compassion being shown here is just simply unbelievable..you guys are absolutely amazing! Thanks... :-)
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Avatar universal
How was the interview?  Yes, getting back to work I found to be the best thing.  Diversion is key to beating anxiety.  Hang in there!~
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
How did the interview go???  That is a great step, btw!  You are really grabbing the anxious bull by the horns, aren't you?  That's just super.

I don't know if you've started any sort of "official" treatment...but I hope you've given it some thought.  I don't know about YOU specifically...but some people feel that needing professional help is a sign of weakness...or involves a stigma.  It is neither.  After all...if you had high blood pressure, you would go to the doctor to treat it, right?  The term "mental illness" is a scary one for most of us starting out...but soon you'll realize that it doesn't equate with "insanity".  We're simply wired differently....and we need help to un-do all of that anxious thinking and "what-iffing".  It's a step I thank GOD for every day that I took when I was just a young lass.  ;0)

Keep us updated when you can...you have a lot of people here pulling for you and wishing you the best.  Let us support you.....and learn from each other.  Sharing our stories and experiences is the best therapy one can have!

Hope things are better for you....thinking of you!
Helpful - 0
366811 tn?1217422672
If it is but for the want of a prayer that you will recover and enjoy life to it's fullest, then you've got the prayers on their way!

You are obviously high-functioning and self-aware; qualities which will help you get through. The job opportunity seems very exciting and may well be an avenue of recovery itself. Please let us know how all that works out.

Keep on keepin' on!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey...glad to hear from you again!  I am glad that you are sharing your thoughts and concerns with us.  Just ensure you are giving yourself credit for dealing with this.  I believe that you have decided to confront it, and it looks like you have the right attitude to deal with this.  I know it is hard, but keep on working through it and please keep us posted!
Helpful - 0
506490 tn?1213431764
Hey you..it's good to finally hear from you! i'm sure everyone here feels the same way too..they were all just a little concerned & worried about you, that's all..and there was no way i could speak on your behalf..;)

I KNOW this nightmare will definitely end for you some day soon..you just need to believe it and have faith in it yourself..and yes, i've been reading the book DILIGENTLY these past 2 days..thanks for the gentle nudge last week..heh..;)

I know it's scary to go back to work after a year long hiatus..but like i said, isn't it a little bit exciting too? well, try not to worry too much about it, i'm sure when the time comes & you're well & truly ready to go back to work, you'll do great - you're a natural at what you do, you know..and when the time comes & it's still scary & difficult, i'll be there to hold your hand & offer you words of encouragement & support & whatever else you need or want..all you have to do is ask....

Well, i'm off to my reading now..do keep me updated on how that meeting went..much love from me,
Isaiah
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Avatar universal
sorry all! oh dear, i must appear indifferent after all that support, i apologize..i just haven't checked in, no time is an excuse..but i have been a little busy, also watced this great video called 'the secret', please go watch it or read it if u guys haven't..

ok the past week i've had several scares as usual, the usual symptoms stays for a little bit, thoughts of high blood pressure, stroke, brain tumor, heart condition etc will run through my mind when the symptoms seem heavier than usual, but i always survive it and make it the next day for another round..

someday this nightmare will all end and i've started praying hard for each and everyone of you here, i'm no saint but desperation makes you think about things that one would normally disregard..

my love goes out to all here..

keep the faith..

ps
sorry if this is a little abrubt, but i have to run out for a meeting..job offers seem to be arising after a one year hiatus..i'm really scared to go back to work but i know i have to eventually..pray for me

love all serve all
bearboy
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506490 tn?1213431764
bump-a-roo
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480448 tn?1426948538
I second that...how are you doing?  You seemed to have been making some progress.  Share whatever you're comfortable sharing...we'd like to learn more about you..and try to help as best we can!

Take Care!
Helpful - 0
506490 tn?1213431764
Hey there..i understand you're feeling a little better than you were a week ago, which is really really great..nways, as you can see from here, a couple of ppl were just wondering how you've been doing since your last posting here almost a week ago..i know they're all really concerned abt you and just wanna know how you're coping & if you're ok..perhaps you'd like to check in here for a couple of mins and just update all of them? i'm sure they'd appreciate it..heh..till we hear from you again, BIG hugs from me..am thinking of you, as always.. ;)
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366811 tn?1217422672
Just checking in with you - I see your post is drifting off the first pages -and wonder how you are doing.
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480448 tn?1426948538
Bump-a-roo
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Avatar universal
I totally relate to you.  I am finally coming to terms with this. Now that I have read this forum, it really helps me to understand how this does not discriminate. One could have a long line of traumas and then another never have any...but we are all here.  Anyway, this forum is new to me too. I love it. My psych told me to journal and I do this religiously. It is amazing what has come out. I pay attention to my anxiety, when it comes on, and what my surroundings are, events, and any other detail. it doesn't have to be pretty, but it has opened up my mind. It also feels good so that I am not repressing my thoughts. Anyhow, welcome.
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
I'm glad you are finding some solace in reading here.  It always is such a weight lifted when we realize how we are not alone in this.

I'm anxious to hear more about you...and you can do that on your own time...you've taken the hardest step...it's all downhill from here.

I'm so glad you're here.
Helpful - 0
366811 tn?1217422672
One of the beauties of a post on the forum is that it doesn't care how slow or fast you type, because nothing happens until you press the "Post Comment" button at lower right and THEN, Poof! It all hits at once!

And so, when you have a chance, just enter your response to THIS message in the "Post Comment" box. One thing at a time...what happened 2 yrs ago that started the panic?

Now, take a magic marker and write these two things on your forehead so you'll remember: 1) No matter how BAD it seems to you, most everyone here knows exactly what you're experiencing and has (or had) the same thing. Conclusion: we know what you're talking about. 2) It CAN get better -even to the point of total recovery- and reaching out for help, just as you are doing, is the way it starts.

OK?
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506490 tn?1213431764
Hey..welcome to the forum..and congrats for taking this HUGE first step - I am sooo proud of you..you don't have to suffer in silence anymore now or be afraid any longer..as you can see so clearly from this forum, you are NOT alone, and there is SO MUCH HOPE for you, and there is no need for you to feel utter despair & hopelessness anymore..you've just echoed what I've been saying probably AT LEAST a million times the past few days - the people here are AMAZING and they are just what you need, in terms of getting the support you've probably not had the past few years..i know you can BEAT THIS, and I hope that you'll soon find the peace you've been looking all along...

God bless you too..I'm thinking of you and wishing nothing but the best for you, because you really do deserve it...
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Avatar universal
I am glad that you are here!  And that was a good cry of release because you can just let it all go now....When you are ready, tell us about yourself (or where you posted it!)  Hang in there!
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Avatar universal
Hi Bearboy,  now you have me crying!  LOL!  Feels good to cry right now actually.  Everything is going to be just fine (you are not a complete idiot!!, say that to yourself 3 times fast).  ; )   Your two long years of suffering is silence are OVER.  You've taken a big step forward by posting here.  Good for you!!   Have you talked to a doctor about your anxiety issues??  I would recommend that since often just talking about it to a professional helps me to feel better.  And exercise helps too.  Just get moving!  Post more about yourself when you can.  We're all here to help each other.  Everything is going to be fine! I saw that to myself all the time when I feel anxious or down.  And it always does turn out fine!!  Good luck and hope to see you around here, posting, getting help, and helping others!  
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Avatar universal
i'm like looking at my screen now and crying..this is a little overwhelming as i've suffered in silence for 2 yrs..you lot are amazing..i will pray for all of you..God Bless

i've posted a little of my story in response to someone's mail which i thought would come in here but it's obviously somewhere else..i'm still not too sure how to navigate in here as i'm a comp idiot..please have patience as i type very slow
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